Star Moon Society: How to prevent and correct children's bad behavior

In our daily family education, children will inadvertently develop some bad habits. Extreme external manifestations such as deception and destruction drive our emotional changes, and also expose many potential problems in parent-child relationships. We need to analyze the reason why the child is doing something, whether he wants attention, or is he fighting for rights, or reciprocal revenge, or self-abandonment.

And we can't use the unique authority of parents to scold and scold as soon as we encounter something, so that the child will only end up feeding us this bad concept of tutoring. Abandoning the tiny factors of school, most children's problems stem from the subtleties of family life. So how to prevent and correct bad behavior in children? I have the following suggestions:

First, we must care for and care for our children. Truly recognizing the importance of spending time with children is not giving them endless money, or buying all kinds of toys or snacks, not inefficient popularization of knowledge, or trying to cover up their incompetence with chattering preaching. Parents play a complementary role in the growth of their children, with tolerance and gentleness, and must also have strength and pattern instillation. Strive to create a positive and harmonious way of coexistence, such as hugging each other, family meetings, and you can also use parent-child diaries and activities to enhance each other's emotional links.

Second, respect the child and make him independent. The premise of respect is the good relationship established in the state of equality. Children are willing to get along with us and tell us only because we are rational and full of love for them. Encourage and allow them to do what they can, and do not impose self-likes and dislikes on children's choices. However, when it comes to issues of principle, we must not indulge and tolerate it in a vague manner, nor can we use excessively irritating words and deeds such as violence and insults to avoid letting punishment create a vicious circle. In dealing with such incidents, the attitude should be kind and firm.

Third, believe in children and inspire them to reach their unlimited potential. To allow children to make mistakes or make mistakes, they must not be admonished in the tone of a person who has come over, after all, they are in the stage of self-exploration and trial and error. We must pay attention to problem-oriented solutions to contradictions, rather than using one wrong thing to veto the development of the entire life. Adjust the impetuous mentality, do not rush to achieve quick success; set appropriate goals, do not be ambitious. Start from the most basic small things, and gradually cultivate children's self-confidence of independence. Instead of giving a blueprint for the future, we should perceive the experience based on the present. The harvest at their fingertips is too easy, and the beauty of running and striving makes them know how to cherish it more.

Fourth, be an example for your children. Children often ask me questions like, why can you play with your mobile phones and we have to keep learning? We can't enjoy ease and stagnation because we are adults, we must preset a shared time of reading together, when children learn, we can cultivate hobbies and shape a specialty. Mutual understanding and mutual accommodation in the family, positive and enterprising in work, and compliance with discipline and law in society. In the world, honesty and trustworthiness, modesty and courtesy, let the children praise our performance, and even consciously follow and follow. In terms of emotional management, we must also maintain calmness and restraint, learn to self-decompression, and not get angry for no reason.

What should you do if you encounter a particularly serious situation, such as the extreme event mentioned at the beginning? First of all, give children the opportunity to defend themselves, understand their developmental needs, care about their physical and mental health, and follow the strategy of sustainable gradual change, which is what I often say "quantitative change produces qualitative change". Clarify the consequences of bad behavior, so that they are afraid; guide them to reasonably release their inner repression, and appropriately divert their attention, discover and analyze the positive factors behind the event, so that they have a direction. Try to guide from the front, less complaining, more patience. Adults can disguise, but children are real and clean, and they can also see whether parents are competent and qualified in dealing with children. Dare to "open the knife" to yourself is the beginning of a child's good upbringing.