If your child lies and tells you

If your child lies and tells you

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Tags: parenting

Category: Mom Growing Up

A mother told me that because her daughter forgot to do an assignment, she lied to the teacher the next day and quickly made up for it, and came home after school and told her mother: I lied.

Mom didn't know how to deal with it, and at that time, she said something like it wouldn't be good not to forget to lie later, but she felt "not enough" in her heart.

Perhaps, the mother responded to her daughter with reason, but it seemed that nothing was done in the feeling, so there was a feeling of "not enough". Yes, real feelings require more attention from us, whether it is a child or our own.

I simplify the story: the child forgets a thing that should be done, the child lies but actively makes up for it, the child tells the mother that he lied, and the mother hopes that her response is more meaningful (to appease the child and help the child grow).

The story is that this goes along, and the response may be reversed.

1. Thank you daughter for trusting. Children's understanding of lying is "bad", and when they do something bad, they will have some guilt and guilt. She will find someone trustworthy to talk about alleviating this negative feeling. If the child finds us (the parents), thank the child for their trust and respond affirmatively: Mom deserves your trust. In fact, we don't need to say that you are wrong to do this, or that it is okay to do so. You just have to express: you and I say, it shows that we have a good parent-child relationship and trust each other.

2. This is an accident and does not happen very often (which implies that things like children cannot happen very often). In the face of an unexpected event, we need to react immediately, maybe at this time you don't have many choices, maybe you are afraid that the feeling of punishment from the teacher will appear first, so you lie, for self-protection. We strive to make more choices and choose a more appropriate option that doesn't require guilt in hindsight. Let's think about it together, what alternatives are there? (This process can give you more insight into your child's status and how she is at school, such as the teacher is very strict, the child is timid...) Then targeted improvement and treatment)

3. Although this matter is not a good thing, but, mom sees you immediately deal with it yourself, mom appreciates that you can respond in time. As for the method, it is really inappropriate, I believe that we will complete the homework in time in the future, do not let ourselves be in such a panicked situation, if other things happen, you will also have a better way to deal with it.