Two days ago, there was such a social news:
During the morning rush hour on the 12th, on line 7 of the Beijing subway, a passenger saw a woman pinching the face of a seven- or eight-year-old child fiercely, and then she threw the child's school bag to the ground, so that the child knelt in public, from Wanzi Station to Beijing West Railway Station, kneeling almost a stop.
This scene caused the passengers in the same car to look sideways, and someone in the carriage dissuaded them, but the woman replied: "I said my child, I want him to do what I want him to do." ”
After the subway arrived at the station, the woman took care of herself and got off the train, and the child quickly picked up the school bag and ran after her.
After the incident was exposed, it quickly triggered heated discussion among netizens.
Source: Central Broadcasting Network
The Central Broadcasting Network, the Beijing News and other media also commented later, saying that "some parents should not only learn what respect is, but also learn the law."
Child psychologist Liu Yonghe said that the educational behavior of having children kneel in public has violated the latest laws.
Article 5 of the Law on the Promotion of Family Education, which came into effect on January 1 this year, mentions that family education should respect the personal dignity of minors and protect the legitimate rights and interests of minors.
Obviously, in the face of the law, the concept of "my child, I want to fight" can no longer stand. Those who humiliate children in the name of education must be stopped and corrected.
Behind this incident, as a parent, what is more worthy of attention is actually the problem of children's self-esteem.
The verbal humiliation and physical violence inflicted on children by parents are only the "impotent rage" of adults against the weak by virtue of their own status, and do not contain any educational qualities - even if it is called in the name of love and responsibility, it is still barbaric and brutal in essence. Children who grow up in such an environment are prone to form a personality of inferiority, sensitivity, and cowering.
And the loud reprimand and humiliation of children in public will seriously damage the dignity of children and leave children with indelible painful memories.
Graph source network
The old saying "train children before people, teach wives after people" is a bit absurd to look at today.
Some parents think, "Children want face, they are still young, they don't understand anything", but in fact, when children are very young, self-esteem has begun to sprout, and they want more face than you think.
More importantly, the child's heart is not as strong and mature as the adult's, and the relentless criticism of the adult may be a huge blow to the child.
Experts say that two-year-olds have begun to care about adult emotions and opinions, and will strategically show what is cute, valuable, and praiseworthy.
After wetting the bed, some children will secretly say in their mother's ear, don't tell others;
At the end of school, some children will pull away their parents who love to chat with people, not wanting them to expose their shortcomings in front of outsiders.
Don't look at the children as small, they especially care about how the people around them see them. Especially after going to school, they also need to maintain their image and reputation in front of their classmates and teachers.
Unfortunately, some parents are not aware of this.
Many parents who are called to school because of their children's poor performance like to continue to count their children in front of the teacher, or tell the teacher how the child is at home.
Some parents like to deny their children in front of other classmates and parents, whether it is out of unintentional modesty or real complaints, which will make the children sad and begin to distrust their parents.
Educating children, sometimes really do not have to "make a big move", you can completely change to a more gentle way, so that children realize that they are not doing well.
The writer Sanmao once told the story of stealing money in the article "Coward".
When she was in the third grade, she stole five dollars from the cabinet at home and wanted to buy what she wanted. The mother found that the money in the family was missing and was very anxious. And Sanmao himself was afraid all day, did not dare to buy things, did not dare to talk to people. In the end, he couldn't help but suffer, and secretly put the money back.
The father on the side had already seen through his daughter, but he did not expose it. Instead, she was given some pocket money. A week later she was given a box of imported candy. Since then, parents have not mentioned this matter again, and have protected their children's self-esteem with kindness and gentleness.
Every child will make mistakes, and if you want your child to know that they are wrong, they don't need to use scolding and humiliation.
Educator Han Fengzhen once said:
"All children who are difficult to educate are children who have lost their self-esteem. Educators are all about doing everything they can to protect a child's most precious thing— self-esteem. ”
Only by respecting the parents of their children can we cultivate truly confident children.