Life inevitably has lows, and in the deepest darkness, people may lose the courage to continue to live.
"There's nothing in this world that I can't afford to lose." A friend who attempted suicide once told me this.
The idea of wanting to die is so shameful that many people are entangled in this thought but cannot tell. Today we bring you 12 true stories. They all once thought of giving up their lives, but they were saved because of various circumstances.
Hopefully, today's story will bring some solace to those in pain.
"We are survivors."
01.
It's my mom's story. Dad cheated and started a family out of town. My mother took me six years old to find my father, and I was humiliated and depressed. Immediately after my father's company went bankrupt, my mother was saddled with a joint debt of husband and wife. My dad didn't agree to the divorce, said he would break up, and actually kept interacting with the aunt and would only play rogue. Coupled with the fact that both parents had been persuading me not to divorce, my mother was pulled in the relationship for seven or eight years.
Once, when I was in junior high school, she told me that she wanted to die. She sat on the balcony and wanted to jump, standing on the road and trying to rush into the traffic. I was deeply frightened and began to develop depressive symptoms.
Later, my teacher came to my mother and told her that I was not in a good state. Not knowing what the teacher said specifically, my mother went home and shed tears silently for one night, and the next day it began to look like a changed person. She prepared breakfast for me very carefully, told me that the two of us should live well in the future, and agreed that we should both be happy. Later, my mother firmly divorced my father, and also did what she agreed with me, which made me confident and cheerful again.
My mom went on to work, became a company executive, achieved financial freedom at the age of nearly fifty, and gave me the opportunity to study abroad to study my favorite major. A few years ago, my mother told me that a woman is weak, but a mother is strong. It was my presence that made her pluck up the courage to face the challenges of life, and because of this brave face, it changed her life.
02.
From childhood, he was beaten by his father, mentally abused by his mother, his parents divorced at the age of 9, he was humiliated by teachers at school because his family was too poor to study, he was bullied and scolded by more than a dozen classmates for six years of primary school and three years of junior high school, he hardly left any way to live, and there was a serious fear of school and family and all human beings.
But there was still a very tenacious and stubborn part of my nature, supporting myself to grit my teeth and survive. Without a chance to go to high school, he taught himself a self-study exam, hid a sad family history, and dressed himself up with what little money he had even when he was poor. Suppress the great fear in your heart and smile and be kind to others. Although he has often been bullied by greedy and treacherous people over the years, he has slowly learned the skills of how to deal with such people skillfully.
Now I am 35 years old and have resigned from the top 500 foreign companies I have worked for many years. I have never given up on continuing my studies over the years and have been able to speak fluent English. With a kind Irish boyfriend, I decided to go abroad for graduate school or even immigrate to start a new life.
Although I started from a very low starting point, crawled out of the bottomless pit full of scars, used to feel that life is better than death, spend dozens of times the time and efforts of others to rebuild myself, even the opportunity to study abroad is more than ten years later than others, but I never gave up my efforts, I will not give up in the future, and I will never give up. Effort is my salvation.
03.
Thinking about death is a kind of metaphysics. I wrote my first suicide note from the fourth grade of elementary school, my first suicide attempt at the age of 19. Until the age of 28, the thought of death always came up from time to time. This state is naturally painful, feeling an insoluble emptiness that cannot be solved, so that the whole body will be painful.
To outsiders, I looked very "good", good looking, good study, and smooth work, but the experience of sexual harassment as a child for several years, as well as the pain of my family, made me always be shrouded in the shadow of depression.
I've been taking psychiatric medication for years and I've been doing counseling, which doesn't solve the problem of wanting to die. What really solves this problem may be the change of life situation. As I became financially independent, disconnected from my family, or even severed ties, I slowly became happier as I felt more in control of my own life.
Death is like a friend of mine, because I have been thinking and imagining it so much throughout my upbringing that I am so familiar with it that it makes me feel kind and warm, not cold and frightened. Now it has become a psychological force for me: whenever I face a challenge, I think, I am not even afraid of death, death will always be there to accompany me, what is there to be afraid of reality? Therefore, I am better able to cope with the real dilemma than the average person.
This is a bonus!
04.
I used to feel that life was so dark that I was hopeless. It was Lesipra and Alprazolam that gave me the opportunity to repair. (KY adds: The meaning of psychiatric drugs, like when a person is crushed under a collapsed house and unable to move, drugs can help us temporarily prop up the house, so that we can get the opportunity to act and repair ourselves.) Now it's no different than the average person, and that's the best thing!
05.
I knew from the age of 6 that my parents wanted me to be a boy, but I was a girl. Parents keep creating children and, for policy reasons, constantly having abortions. He had sworn that if they had given birth to a son, he would have committed suicide on the day his brother was born, and lived in hatred every day and night thereafter. Finally, at the age of 16, he was hospitalized for bipolar disorder.
One year after being discharged from the hospital, my mother unfortunately suffered from cerebral hemorrhage and hemiplegia. Since then, he has hated his father, believing that all the misfortunes of the whole family are caused by him, and continues to be depressed and sinks in mania. After 8 years of professional drug treatment, there has not been much change, and it is becoming more and more dependent on drugs.
By chance, I realized that my life shouldn't have to pay for my father's mistakes. After a year of getting rid of drug dependence, I later met my current husband. My husband's love made me completely let go of the idea of suicide. He told me: The past will pass forever, and if I think about it, I will not go back, let alone change. Life belongs to oneself and to those who love oneself.
I have now formed a new little family with him, and I am determined to say goodbye to the past and try to be the best version of myself, to look forward for our little family.
06.
When I was a child, my father ran away in debt, and from junior high school to high school, debt collectors kept coming to me and my mother, and I had to live separately from my mother. Coupled with my father's domestic violence and divorce, stalking and successive divorce/fraud lawsuits, I was very desperate. At night, when a person is crying in bed holding himself, no one can complain but call the free psychological hotline in the middle of the night, and at that time I really felt that I was alone in the whole world, and no one else could save you.
But in fact, I did not do anything active resistance, and now I am in my junior year. It's as if time is a treatment. Now I have a good job offer, and I also seriously cultivate my hobbies, and often go out with my friends. Thinking about myself in high school a few years ago, I was completely closed and had no friends, and I really feel incredible to see today. I do have the ability to change my life, and living well and living with myself is the first step.
07.
Every time I was abused as a child, I would talk to the little rag doll and make up my mind to grow up and leave my parents. The strange thing is that after being beaten the day before, I forget to sleep and still have fun playing with my friends.
But after I became an adult, especially after going through the college entrance examination, the effects of childhood still made me a depressed person, and after five years of struggle, I committed suicide twice in a row, the first time I was rescued, the second time I made a thorough plan, but I woke up on my own after a day of inhaling completely deadly carbon monoxide and sleeping pills. It was as if the world had changed in that instant, as if my mission had not yet been accomplished, and God would not let me leave like that.
Luckily and bizarrely, this incident changed my attitude towards life. I started doing resumes looking for jobs, recording the compliments people had for me, even if they were small. Since suicide did not die, let me start from scratch like a new life.
08.
My mom used to have a very serious mental illness and became completely different from her. Those days were extremely difficult, extremely painful, and painful, but there was really no pain to compare with after the past.
When you grow up, you can understand many people and things, everyone has everyone's pain, and it is not their fault to be sick. It is also common for people to want to escape when encountering problems. The requirements for others are very low, and the requirements for themselves are not high. Because I understand that everything is too hard to control. It is enough to do everything you can and look back and say, "I tried my best, I can't do it any better anyway."
09.
I was a girl with a smooth and comfortable life until I was diagnosed with leukemia five months after giving birth. Want to die, but for the sake of children, try to live.
10.
In the darkest and lowest stage of my life, I used to go swimming every day - the whole swimming pool was only a lifeguard who had to be on duty and one me - each swim was a few kilometers, tired to sit at the bottom of the pool to watch the light floating overhead, and suddenly one day I figured out a lot of things that I couldn't figure out before.
11.
A bad childhood is itself a salvation. Why didn't a bad childhood knock me down? Because I firmly believe that no matter how bad it is, it cannot be worse than then. I have nothing to lose.
12.
When I was a child, I practiced long-distance running, and at that time I was so disgusted with the sport that I was forced to get up at four o'clock every day to run 7 to 10 kilometers, and all the happiness was only when I won the first place in the race. I didn't expect to encounter a terrible thing when I grew up, and it was the willpower that I brought from running when I was growing up, so that I could clench my teeth, adjust my breathing, endure pain and eventually carry it through.
Ky authors say:
The Bible says, "He will not break the bruised reeds." He who sows seeds with tears will return with a bundle of grains and a smile. ”
A professor once said to me that in your future life, you will be able to do everything you want to do because "You are a survivor." You have survived, and you'll always survive."
In this impermanent universe, we are able to communicate because "survivor" is our common name.
May today's push let the unhappy people at this time see hope, and let the happy people at this time cherish it more. None of them have given up, and you must refuel.
This concludes the body.
Stetson once said in "Notes on Retreat": "A person who really wants to die will no longer care what people say." A person who talks about death, in my experience, doesn't really want to die, but... Still longing for love. "Although there are many difficulties and dangers in life, there are unbearable pains, and there are countless moments that make people give up their lives, but to change these despairs, sometimes all that is needed is a little love and warmth."
Under the guidance of the China Advertising Association, the "I am a creator" public welfare project jointly initiated by Tencent Sustainable Social Value Division (SSV), Tencent Public Welfare, Tencent Advertising, and Tencent User Research and Experience Design Department (CDC) also noticed these people who are experiencing darkness, especially the time when the offline advertising space went out at night from 22:00 to 02:00, which is the peak time for suicide messages in Shudong. At this moment, they are struggling on the death line of suicide and need to be cared for the most. A word of encouragement and care from a stranger has a life-saving miracle effect.
The Tree Cave Action Rescue Team has found high-risk people through AI technology, has prevented 5017 suicides, and now scan the QR code above, you can also participate in it, search for distress signals, listen to others, feel the power of the beacon of life poetry, and send a meaningful rescue.
Since the launch of the "I am a creator" public welfare project assistance program in 2017, in the past five years, a total of 5,032 participating teams and 13,165 creators have participated in the project, incubating 240 public service advertisements and design works, driving nearly 300 million people to participate in public welfare actions, and using the innovative mechanism of "creativity + technology + public welfare" to make public welfare accessible to everyone. I look forward to more "Poetry Beacon of Life" in the future, which will bring us warmth and give us the opportunity to send warmth.
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