I often hear friends and parents around me ask, "What is wrong with today's children?" "Don't fight or scold, or make trouble with you every day!"
What is more serious is the endless news, which completely disrupts the rhythm of parents and teachers, and even does not know how to educate is right, for fear that children will not be able to think of and do things that are not satisfactory.
Everyone seems to be complaining that it is too difficult to bring children now, and teachers feel that the children they teach are not as good as a class.
However, have you ever thought that since the 80s, the children's growth environment has undergone tremendous changes, and the education objects we are facing now are the post-90s and post-00s, most of whom are only children, and they are also a generation that has grown up with the development of the Internet
In fact, children also have a lot of troubles, but we don't have a deep understanding. Times are changing, and the educational concepts of teachers and parents should also change.
Today I recommend you an in-depth article, this article deeply explores the growth trajectory and psychological state of the post-90s and post-00s generation. Please take a few minutes, think about it, maybe it's time to make a change.
As the educator White put it: "Education is not about teaching people to make a living, but about teaching people to create life." ”
I hope that teachers and parents can keep up with the pace of their children and make progress together after reading it.
What is the difficulty of family education today? Difficulties in our education have too many paradoxes and problems to face.
Parents, let me ask you a question, do you know the children now?
I have a lot of say in this because I've been exposed to about 8,000 family cases in the last 20 years.
What's going on with today's kids? Who are today's children? We have to grasp it in essence. If we can't grasp it from the essence, school education or family education will not be on the point.
Children have been different since 1993.
Why? The reason is that China banned food stamps in 1993, do you remember this matter when you are old? What does it mean to ban food stamps in a country like China? We didn't have to worry about eating.
When a nation eats without worry, especially when a nation like ours eats without worry, what will we worry about? Our needs are beginning to become different, people's needs for people are different, parents' needs for children are different, society's needs for people are different, and people's needs for society are different.
Let's look at the basic characteristics of people after 1993, first of all, they are all only sons in a single apartment.
What kind of life does the only son in the single-family apartment have? You can try it, and in the spring, buy a newborn chick, keep it, give it good food and drink, and see if the chick will die in two weeks, because the chick will be lonely.
Today's children come into this world with a natural sense of loneliness. So what are the troubles of loneliness?
First, when a person is lonely, gratuitously sad, and inexplicably sheds tears; second, as soon as a person is lonely, his thinking power becomes very strong, so trouble comes, neither thinking about eating nor thinking about wearing, he prematurely thinks about an ultimate question, the highest philosophical question: "What is the meaning of my existence?" ”
Our current children, even four-year-olds, would be there in a daze, and you don't know what was going on in his little head.
Once a person has such a problem, suffering accompanies him. So the problem with our education is that we have to know who our children are in order to have direction.
Today's children carry a heavy emotional burden
Back when we were young, most people lived in multi-child families, and it was difficult for parents to devote too much attention to a single child.
But what are kids like now? In a city like Shanghai, when a child comes into this world, there are six people around him, and these six people will give him the best.
So six people love a child, can you feel the feelings of this child? Do you know the inner world of this child? Do you know the bitterness in his heart?
In fact, people have an instinct, who is good to himself, he will repay the favor. I saw a four-year-old kid say to grandma, Grandma, I'll make money for you when I grow up because he thinks Grandma is too good for him.
But when he was a teenager, he figured it out, he couldn't repay this favor, why? Because these people don't want his money in return, they want their children to go to prestigious universities.
But there are only a few famous universities in China, why do you go to your children?
Every year, seniors from all over the country come to me for counseling, and all their symptoms are the same: they don't devote themselves to studying in their senior year, they look at their phones all day, and they read novels all day.
You ask him if he wants to go to college? He replied, thinking, and had to do well.
So why not invest? Because they are anxious.
I just have to say one word and they'll shed tears, and I say, "You may not get into the university you think you want, and then you'll feel really sorry for your parents, they're too good for you, aren't they?" ”
The children burst into tears as soon as they heard them.
The kids are so pathetic.
I said to these children, "Who told you that you are responsible for the happiness of your parents?" Children, no one in this world can be responsible for the happiness of another person. For example, when two people are in love, a man says to a woman, 'Marry me, I will give you the happiness of a lifetime', and the result is that it is not three days before the quarrel is over. Children, you remember that happiness is your own subjective life experience. ”
There is a mother, she has raised a doctoral son, this postdoc came to become a diplomat, everyone envies this mother, but we see what she is doing? I take antidepressant medication every day.
There was also a mother whose son was just an ordinary worker, but we saw this mother happily rubbing mahjong every day.
Therefore, happiness is not something that others can give, but a subjective experience of oneself. Parents should tell their children not to carry this burden, light and forward, this is to give children positive energy.
I would like to say a sweet word, we bring our children into this world, you have to remember, not he is coming, if he wants to choose may not choose you, you are a one-way choice.
What I often say to my son is: "Son, let's have a mother and son, don't dislike each other, you don't hate me, I don't hate you." ”
The child does not have this burden, he can go forward lightly, so that he will not have exam anxiety. Now how many students in our country are anxious before the exam, and their academic performance has not reached the goal they should have!
We can see that children today have unprecedented academic pressure, which is only explicit, and the implicit thing is that children are with high-risk people all day long, these people are the parents and teachers of children.
If you think about it, if the child has to face a group of anxious people at school and at home, everyone pulls a rubber band on the child, the teacher keeps emphasizing the test and learning in the school; the child returns home, and the parents are also emphasizing the test and study, then the child may be finished.
With anxious people, we will be exhausted, and the pressure that our children encounter is not available in the world.
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