Junior high school students in the world
The world of youth is wonderful
#扩写 #
Expansion is to expand and supplement the more concise and generalized articles or fragments, so that the content is richer, the plot is more specific, the character image is more distinct, and the article is longer.
On the basis of the original text, the expansion should not change the central idea, main content and genre of the original text, expand the association and imagination, and recreate the content of the original text. According to the needs of the expression center, choose the appropriate extension point.
Focusing on writing about people, it is necessary to focus on highlighting the characteristics of the characters, meticulously portray the language, actions, and demeanor of the characters, and reflect the personality of the characters.
Focusing on writing, it is necessary to focus on setting up the plot and skillfully handling the causes, processes, developments, climaxes, and endings of the plot.
To write about activities, it is necessary to focus on depicting the scenes of the activities, so that the combination of points and surfaces, and the environment is set off.
Expansion should also pay attention to the coherence, consistency and logic of the article's ideas, so that the article ideas are meticulous, one-stop, and self-contained.
Expand the original text
During the Spring and Autumn Period, The Duke of Jin and his retinue passed through Weiguo on the way to escape, and Wei Wengong did not treat him with courtesy. They passed by Wulu and begged the countrymen for food, who gave them dirt blocks. Heavy ears were furious and wanted to hit the man with a whip. The fox persuaded him, "This is the land that God has rewarded!" Heavy Ear then prostrated his head in thanks, accepted the dirt block, and loaded it on the car.
Rendered in the original text
The land that God rewards
During the Spring and Autumn Period, after the death of Duke Xian of Jin, The Duke of Jin suffered a rebellion by Li Ji, and his half-brother Yiwu returned to China and became the monarch of the Jin State. After becoming the monarch, Yiwu ordered the pursuit and killing of Heavy Ear to eliminate the troubles, and Heavy Ear was forced to be helpless, so he took his retinue and embarked on the road of escape.
It's been a tough road. (Highlighting the hardships of the road and the fall of the heavy ear, writing is more general, you can increase the details of the description, appear more graphic.) Heavy Ears and his entourage came to the gate of the Weiguo Gate, and they were greeted by guards with swords facing each other. Wei Wengong stood on the high city wall, looking down at the fallen heavy ear, recalling that when he built the capital, he asked for help from the Jin state but was refused, and at the same time, in order to avoid offending the new monarch of the Jin state, Yi Wu, he was arrogant to the fallen Prince of the Jin state in front of him, loudly humiliated him, and told him to get away immediately.
Heavy Ears left angrily, but could only swallow his anger and continue on the road with his entourage. They walked all the way to Wulu, and by this time the heavy ears were already very depressed, hungry and hungry, and his hungry eyes searched in the fields that had long dried up, but there was nothing to eat. Suddenly, seeing a farmer in the field in the distance, he hesitated, but got out of the car, determined to abandon his dignity and ask the villagers for food to fill their hunger. (The depiction of a heavy-eared and depressed demeanor and the psychological depiction of asking the villagers for food are very graphic.) Defecting to the defense of the country but being rejected, his heart should be extremely complicated, if it can be unfolded, the character image will be more plump. ）
With trepidation, he walked toward the old farmer. Old farmers weeding in the fields. Heavy Ear stepped forward and said, "Old Uncle, in the next is the prince of the Jin Dynasty, who has fled all the way to here, and is really hungry and unbearable, hoping to give away some food, I am grateful." The old farmer straightened up slightly, touched his shriveled stomach, looked at the barren land under his feet, smiled bitterly, squatted down and took a piece of soil and handed it to The Heavy Ear.
With a heavy ear, the green tendons on his forehead burst out, he turned around and grabbed the whip on the carriage, stared at the peasant with angry eyes, and raised the horse whip high. ("A stunned" is more general, and psychological descriptions can be unfolded, rendering a huge contrast in the heart.) Seeing that the high horse whip was about to fall heavily, the old farmer was already stunned. Suddenly, the fox took a step forward and said, "Lord, please calm down!" The earth is the society, the society is the society, this is the land that god rewarded you with the hands of the old farmer! Heavy Ear felt very reasonable, and the anger on his face dissipated, revealing a look of joy. (Between the lifting and falling of the whip, heavy ears must have thought a lot, and that humiliation and unbearableness must have made him intolerable and desperate.) He held the piece of soil in both hands, and then carefully placed it in the bag, knelt on his knees on this desolate land, prostrated his head in thanks, solemnly bid farewell to the farmers, and firmly embarked on the road to the country of Qi.
The back of the galloping back appeared resolute and confident, he remembered that this piece of soil must take the soil as the root, be as strong and unyielding as the earth, temper himself in adversity, take the people as the foundation, and strive to create a generation of hegemony. (The depiction of the back can extend the meaning of the dirt block, and it can also show the wisdom of the courtiers and the indomitable pursuit of the ear, and this firm and persistent attitude is an important condition for future success.) The dirt block fully awakened the fighting spirit of the heavy ear and made him realize his responsibility and responsibility. ）
Later, with the help of the State of Qi, after experiencing hardships, Zhong'er returned to his own country and created a great cause of dominating the world. He went from being a disgraced prince to being the much-anticipated Duke Wen of Jin.
Comprehensive reviews
This expanded article takes the heavy ear to seek asylum and ask for food as the expansion point, grasps the character's encounter, describes the delicate psychology of the character, and can reflect the personality of the character. However, in the process of psychological description, especially in the face of the reaction of Wei Wengong and the different attitudes of farmers, the psychological description of heavy ears is too general, not detailed and specific, and the appeal is not strong enough.
Upgraded to Zhijin
1. Grasp the experience and image of the character to perform.
As the main character in the expansion, the heavy ear can grasp his experience and character image to express. For example, the heavy ear's feelings about hardships, one is that the road is difficult, the second is that people's hearts are sinister, and the third is that they have encountered downfalls. As a prince of a country, he once lived in infinite glory, such a contrast and gap must be very huge, and a clear performance can highlight the encounters of the characters and increase the twists and vividness of the article.
2. Learn to distill the meaning of the event and increase the depth of the article.
For example, the story of heavy ear triumph through setbacks is of reference significance to ordinary people.
Good to make a furnace
During the Spring and Autumn Period, after the death of Duke Xian of Jin, The Duke of Jin suffered a rebellion by Li Ji, and his half-brother Yiwu returned to China and became the monarch of the Jin State. After becoming the monarch, Yiwu ordered the pursuit and killing of Heavy Ear to eliminate the troubles, and Heavy Ear was forced to be helpless, so he took his retinue and embarked on the road of escape. (Briefly explain the background of the incident, laying the groundwork for the development of the following events.) ）
It's been a tough road. After several days of trekking, heavy ears and retinue were tired, tired and hungry, like refugees fleeing the wilderness. They came to the gate of the Weiguo City, and fantasized with their ears that they would be treated warmly by Wei Wengong. Unexpectedly, they were greeted by guards with swords facing each other. Wei Wengong stood on the high city wall, looking down at the heavy ears of the fallen. He recalled that when he built the capital, he asked the Jin state for help but was refused, and at the same time, in order to avoid offending the new king of the Jin state, Yi Wu, he was arrogant towards the fallen Prince of the Jin state in front of him, loudly humiliated his ears, and told him to get away immediately. (The hardships of the road and the downfall of the heavy ear are written in more detail, writing about the embarrassment of the heavy ear in a desperate situation and the psychology of seeking asylum with great anticipation.) In the end, they were all trampled by Wei Wengong, increasing the tension of the article. ）
Zhong'er felt very embarrassed and angry, he had also been on the top, but now he had fallen to this point, and he was still subjected to such ridicule, and his heart was full of mixed feelings, where was his hope? They dragged their tired bodies all the way to Wulu, and by this time the heavy ears were already hungry and dizzy, and his hungry eyes searched in the fields that had long dried up, but what could he eat? In the distance, he saw a farmer in the field, hesitated, but got out of the car, determined to abandon his dignity and ask the villagers for food to fill their hunger. Nervously, he walked toward the old farmer. Old farmers weeding in the fields. Heavy Ear stepped forward and said, "Old Uncle, in the next is the prince of the Jin Dynasty, who has fled all the way to here, and is really hungry and unbearable, hoping to give away some food, I am grateful." The old farmer straightened up slightly, touched his shriveled stomach, looked at the barren land under his feet, smiled bitterly, squatted down and took a piece of soil and handed it to The Heavy Ear. (The psychology of the rejection of the heavy ear to the defense of the country is extremely complicated, comparing the present and the past, seeing through the cold of the world, the feeling of despair is more concrete and perceptible.) The real and meticulous psychology of the heavy ear and the depressed demeanor are portrayed very vividly. ）
The humiliation of being so deep into the bone marrow that his blood instantly rushed to the top of his head. (The psychology of "stunned", with the help of the "petrified" look and the action description of "rushing", renders the heavy blow brought about by the huge psychological contrast.) His forehead was green, and he turned around and grabbed the whip from the carriage, stared angrily at the peasant, and raised the whip high. The hunger and cold of this road, all kinds of repression and patience, the fear of being isolated and hunted down, together with the despair of the road ahead, mixed with the great shame and humiliation in front of him, all broke out at this time, and he roared like a trapped beast. Seeing that the high horse whip was about to fall heavily, the old farmer was already stunned. (Between the lifting and falling of the whip, the hardships of the heavy ear and the humiliations experienced along the way rushed into his heart like a movie, making him collapse and despair, and the dirt block became the last straw that overwhelmed him.) Suddenly, the fox took a step forward and said, "Lord, please calm down!" The earth is the society, the society is the society, this is the land that god rewarded you with the hands of the old farmer! Heavy Ear felt very reasonable, and the anger on his face dissipated, revealing a look of joy. He held the piece of soil in both hands, then carefully put it into the bag, knelt on his knees on this desolate land, prostrated his head in thanks, solemnly bid farewell to the farmers, and firmly embarked on the road to the country of Qi. (The meticulous psychological description shows that the heavy ear changes from anger to joy, and the original contempt for the dirt block turns into solemn piety.) ）
The back of the galloping back appeared resolute and confident, he remembered that this piece of soil must take the soil as the root, be as strong and unyielding as the earth, temper himself in adversity, take the people as the foundation, and strive to create a generation of hegemony.
Later, with the help of the State of Qi, after experiencing hardships, Zhong'er returned to his own country and created a great cause of dominating the world. He went from being a disgraced prince to being the much-anticipated Duke Wen of Jin. Life is like this, there are always unsatisfactory, but there are often unexpected gains, keep the original intention, in order to always. (The story of the heavy ear that has gone through hardships and finally becomes a great cause allows us to see the essence of life, maintain the original intention, and always have to be.) ）
In the process of expanding the article, the original framework of the event is the mainstay, and in the process of advancing the plot, a large number of psychological descriptions are added to highlight the character image. A number of delicate and vivid psychological portrayals make the image of heavy ears hard, down-to-earth, and bumping into walls everywhere more plump, so that the branches have contours and leaves have veins, and complete a good scenery of a tree. Through the process and results of the development of the event, the philosophy behind the event is refined, and the educational effect of one thing and one reason is received.
Try the bull knife
Read the following passage, think deeply, and expand it into an argumentative essay with a self-written title. Not less than 600 words.
"If you have perseverance, why should you sleep three times and get up five times; the most useless thing is to be exposed to ten days of cold in one day." This is a couplet written by the Ming Dynasty scholar Hu Juren, which is intended to encourage himself: doing things is expensive to persevere. Perseverance means focusing on daily accumulation, rather than digging wells in the face of thirst. Perseverance means perseverance, not a cold exposure. Many examples in ancient and modern China and abroad tell us that we can only succeed if we have perseverance in doing things. We should also persevere on the road of learning and growth.
▌He Hao, a discipline leader in Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, is currently teaching at Zhangjiagang Jiyanghu Experimental School.
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