At the beginning of the new year, the state suddenly introduced a heavy law -
Family Education Promotion Act.
This seems to mean that family education has officially risen from "family affairs" to "state affairs".
In the future, all parents' babies will become "legally carrying babies".
In the face of this sudden law, netizens have talked about it.
Some think it's a good thing:
"This is expected to change the problem of parents not teaching."
Others scoff at this:
"Just out of the regulations, but do not reduce the cost of carrying a baby, in the end it is the parents who suffer." 」
It is even felt that it will have the opposite effect on the declining fertility rate.
"After reading this regulation, everyone dare not give birth, otherwise they will break the law if they are born without it."
Promoting family education is naturally a good thing.
But once it rises to law, it seems to become intolerable.
But family education, how can it not take a detour?
What's more, I am afraid that this is not something that can be done by one law.
The main body of family education is still the parents themselves.
It just so happened that a recent awards season hit movie made a "small essay" on the theme of parenting.
Today, let Uncle Fish take you to see what it is -
"Calling friends and leading companions"
C'mon C'mon
The film stars Joaquin Phoenix.
Two years ago, he won an Oscar for Joker.
After that, it disappeared from the film industry.
No new works have been released in two years.
Until this small cost of "Calling Friends and Leading Companions".
The film has a good reputation, the current Douban score is 8.0, and the freshness of Rotten Tomatoes is 94%.
Although the theme of this film is with a baby.
But the way to shoot is a different way.
The protagonist with the baby is not the child's parent, but the uncle.
He's Joaquin's character—
One man is middle-aged and still alone, Johnny.
He and his sister, because of the differences in the previous care of his mother, have created a deep estrangement, and have not been in contact for a long time.
Until the brother-in-law fell ill, the sister had to accompany her husband to the hospital, and could only entrust her 9-year-old son Jesse to him.
One is a mournful and Buddha- and well-behaved uncle who has no expectations for the future.
One is a little boy with ADHD + imagination and a playful possession.
And the two had almost no contact before, so they began an unforgettable journey.
The film is said by many to be like an American version of Kikujiro's Summer.
It also tells the story of the process from strange to unwilling between a strange uncle and a child who lacks fatherly love.
However, compared to "Kikujiro's Summer", it focuses on the portrayal of childlike fun and romance.
"Calling Friends and Attracting Companions" also attempts to explore the emotional proposition of how adults and children get along.
And the whole film also deliberately uses black and white tones.
According to the director, it is to offset the visual stimulation brought by color to the audience, so that we can pay more attention to the interaction and emotional expression between the characters.
In such stories, some of the ideas we take for granted are also completely subverted.
For example, maturity and childishness.
Soon after he was with his uncle, Jesse began to launch a round of soul torture against him:
"Why have you been alone?"
For the first time, because of a child, he recalled the emotional wounds he did not want to face.
He confessed that he had lost the person he loved the most, but there was nothing he could do about it.
And published a self-consolation that symbolizes seeing through life:
"Even if you love each other, you still love now." But I found it difficult to express love for each other, so I could only look at each other."
However, this "mature" insight seems inexplicable in the eyes of children.
The child's idea is simple, and maturity that cannot make people feel happy is useless.
Adults are accustomed to using a mature rhetoric to cover up their powerlessness in order to escape and confront those that we should have faced and solved.
But that's not really mature.
It was not until the child's words were broken that it was discovered that this futile self-consolation of adults was a kind of childishness.
For example, hypocrisy and honesty.
Adult hypocrisy may stem from a self-protective disguise.
Similarly, it is also a perfunctory way of feelings and life problems.
Whenever Jesse asked why he had made his affection and love as bad as they are today.
The uncle's answer, in the eyes of the child, is all nonsense.
It's all Balabala...
The child actually understands in his heart, so he feels that Johnny is insincere and escaping from reality.
They often rebel against the hypocrisy of adults.
It's like talking nonsense to a child and they choose to give back another nonsense, or even not listen to what you're talking about.
Adults instinctively lack a kind of level respect for children and think that it is not necessary to tell the truth to children.
And my uncle realized this, and he hadn't thought hard about the questions Jesse had mentioned.
On the one hand, he is fooling his nephew, and on the other hand, he is actually perfunctory in his past.
For children, there is nothing wrong with expressing their inner emotions and doing what they like.
And suppressing this expression seems unreasonable.
But for adults, this is a "not normal".
At the same time, children are also required to go against their own nature and maintain a "normal" like adults.
All of this actually comes from the fact that adults will be more inclined to cover up, restrain and refuse to express their emotions for various reasons.
Jesse also spoke bluntly to the lonely uncle:
"Are you having trouble expressing your emotions?"
We know that it's not just his problem.
This is a problem that countless adults can have.
Jesse's father is a bipolar disorder sufferer.
This obstacle actually comes from the imbalance of emotional release.
He often accompanies him to play all kinds of games that are "strange" in the eyes of others.
But in Jesse's eyes, it seemed that his father was not sick.
Expressing emotions is not a problem.
Not expressing emotions is the biggest problem.
It wasn't until Johnny realized this that he began to become cheerful.
He and his nephew play wildly, unscrupulously, playing the "abnormal" games of the past in his eyes.
It turns out that this "abnormal" can also be so happy.
He gradually understood this kind of face-to-face emotion, liberating the positive feedback that his heart brought to his life.
Happy, nice.
Not happy, no problem.
All of this makes sense.
He also began to understand that the nonsense in the mouths of those children was actually a clear cognition and metaphor for life.
Expressions vary from person to person and should not be distinguished into what is normal and what is strange.
It's important to listen, to understand.
He rethinked the real reasons for the gap between people.
No longer hide the need for loved ones, and the love for them.
Because it was the most important emotion in his heart.
People will always encounter changes and setbacks in the process of growing up.
After that, it is easy to fall into a closed, confused state.
After losing his mother and having a big fight with his sister, Johnny lived an isolated life.
He tried to find the answer to life through work:
Interview and document children's thoughts.
This is exactly the other line of the film.
It shows us more children, hidden in the troubles and desires of the heart.
For example, some children hate their mothers for not allowing themselves to cry.
Because she wants to be a strong person herself, and strong people can't cry.
This in itself is a stifling of self-emotion.
For example, some children do not like adults to intervene in everything.
In their eyes, adults are like tyrants, with a mindset that is 100 percent correct.
In fact, I just want to control my life by taking charge of my children.
Your attitude towards your children often reflects the epitome of your own life and your attitude towards your own life.
Your neglect of your child's feelings is actually because you blindly ignore and avoid your own life.
Children need adults, and adults actually need children even more.
It takes a little clean look from them to help me see the truth of life.
It calls out the original authenticity and purity of human nature.
Just as Johnny was taking care of his nephew, he was actually being healed and healed by his nephew.
Of course, he didn't get life's answers by asking about his child's work.
Instead, under the aggressive questioning of his nephew, he pulled out his heart little by little.
This also confirms that the relationship between adults and children must not be a one-way leadership and control.
Instead, we should communicate and get along with each other as equals as friends and partners.
Blindly making children obedient and obedient is not a desirable way to bring children.
This is precisely the meaning of the title of the film, "Calling Friends and Attracting Companions".
The English title of the film, "C'mon C'mon", implies another layer of meaning:
Both adults and children are imperfect.
We all need to face a bad world full of problems and accidents, and keep improving and growing.
Therefore, it is not so much a baby as a companion.
Walking shoulder to shoulder and navigating the difficulties together.
"Come on, come on, come on, come on again..."
It tells us not to neglect our children.
However, please don't underestimate your children.