Bing Xin once said: "The most beautiful thing in the world is a few solemn friends who have a very upright mind and heart." ”
Bing Xin had great friendships with many male writers of the same period, such as Lao She, Ba Jin, Liang Shiqiu, Xiao Qian, and so on.
In the 1980s, Liang Shiqiu's student Hu Baihua and Liang Shiqiu's eldest daughter Liang Wenqian visited Bingxin together.
When they sent the photo of Liang Shiqiu and his second wife Han Jingqing to Bingxin's hand, she excitedly pointed to the beautiful Han Jingqing and said:
"He just can't pass this hurdle in this lifetime, and he can't pass this hurdle in this lifetime!"
When Hu Baihua returned to Taiwan to relay Bingxin's original words to Liang Shiqiu, Mr. Liang smiled: "I, I have passed her level steadily." ”
Acquaintance, from discord to joy
In fact, at the beginning of the acquaintance, there was a mustard between Bing Xin and Liang Shiqiu.
In August 1923, more than 100 international students, including Bing Xin, Wu Wenzao, Liang Shiqiu, Lin Huiyin, Liang Sicheng and Xu Dishan, traveled to the United States by mail ship from Shanghai.
When Xu Dishan introduced Bingxin and Liang Shiqiu to meet, Liang Shiqiu did not have much good feelings for Bingxin, thinking that she was cold and not easy to get close to.
He asked Bingxin, "What did you go to the United States to study?" ”
Bing Xin replied, "Literature." Then he asked, "What are you practicing?" ”
Liang Shiqiu replied: "Literary criticism. ”
Liang Shiqiu is also very naughty and narrow. In fact, in July of that year, Liang Shiqiu made a sharp criticism of Bingxin's poetry in the Creation Weekly.
Bingxin's poetry is delicate and gentle with profound philosophy, light spirit condensation contains timeless meaning, and Liang Shiqiu advocates that poetry must be full of emotion.
Therefore, in terms of literary ideas, the two are at odds.
However, after all, they are all young people, and with the further getting along on the cruise ship, Liang Shiqiu found that although Bingxin was a little reserved on the surface, he was actually very kind. And Liang Shiqiu is humorous and funny, and getting along with it is like a spring breeze.
Coupled with the fact that Bing Xin and Wu Wenzao can talk very well, and Wu Wenzao is Liang Shiqiu's good friend, therefore, the two ice release their previous suspicions, talk very happily, and become friends.
In order to pass the boring time in the long journey, Liang Shiqiu and others ran a poster called "Tsunami", he asked Bingxin for a manuscript, Bingxin cheerfully agreed, and the next day sent him three small poems he wrote.
After an editorial meeting, Liang Shiqiu told Bingxin not to cry with his girlfriend before studying abroad.
After all, this matter belongs to personal privacy, Liang Shiqiuken frankly told Bingxin, it can be seen that he also regarded her as a confidant.
There is a "law of attraction" in psychology, people always tend to get along with their own type of people, a group of people get together, more or less can find some commonalities, these commonalities, is the attraction between them.
For kind and sincere people, the only thing that can attract them is sincerity.
After arriving in the United States, Bing Xin and Liang Shi went to different schools.
This group of Chinese students who went to the United States organized a "lake society" and agreed to meet once a month to have a picnic on the lake to discuss academic issues.
Liang Shiqiu and others established the Chinese Drama Improvement Society, which performed traditional Chinese drama in English in a unique way, and Wen Yiduo, Lin Huiyin, Bing Xin and others all participated in this society.
In the process of rehearsing the play, others not only joked about Liang Shiqiu and Bingxin, but also joked about Liang Shiqiu and another girl, and later this girl got engaged, and Bingxin ridiculed Liang Shiqiu: "Zhumen entered the deep sea, and since then Qiulang has been a passerby." ”
Liang Shiqiu liked the word "Qiu Lang" very much, and even wrote many articles under this pen name after returning to China, which showed the close relationship between the two.
Teacher Zhang Xin once said that adult friendship is the most rare, why? Because it is both the same frequency and empathy.
The same frequency refers to the mutual organic coexistence in the same time and space, and empathy is a further sublimation on the basis of the same frequency, which requires mutual understanding and tolerance between each other.
At that time and place, Liang Shiqiu had already changed his view of Bingxin:
"Gradually I feel that she is not a person who is arrogant and arrogant, but she has a little reticence towards people, and as for the superiority of her mind, the sensitivity of her feelings, and the delicacy of her temperament, they are beyond the reach of ordinary people."
Young people are more romantic and lively together, and between Bing Xin and Liang Shiqiu, there is more warmth and understanding.
Know each other, from friends to confidants
However, the relationship between the two only stops there. In February 1927, Liang Shiqiu married Cheng Jishu, and in 1929, Bing Xin married Wu Wenzao.
Shortly after Bing Xin and Wu Wenzao were newly married, Liang Shiqiu and Wen Yiduo went to visit their new home together, and the two looked left and right, slowly paced around, and then went out at the same time.
When the newcomer was confused, he saw two gentlemen returning with cigarettes in their hands, laughing and saying, "Everything inside and outside your house is well arranged, but there is a lack of hospitality cigarettes and tea." ”
Ice was in a trance, grateful in his heart.
True friends are like this, never expose to your face what you are not doing well enough, but will quietly help you do things well, and do not ask for anything in return.
Soon after, Mr. and Mrs. Bing Xin went to Shanghai to teach. In 1930, Liang Shiqiu was also recruited to Qingdao University.
Liang Shiqiu knew that Bingxin had always longed for Qingdao Yin Yin, so he repeatedly wrote to Bingxin and his wife, telling them how interesting it was to catch crabs and dig sand at the beach with his wife and children, and invited them to come to Qingdao.
However, at this time, Bingxin's body has been holding on to it, often vomiting blood periodically, lingering on the sickbed, and the long-cherished wish to go to Qingdao to live in Qingdao has not been realized after all.
This train of life, some people go up, some people get off, friends who talk about everything when they are young, and often become estranged because they get married and have children, and eventually they are strangers.
But there are also some friends, even if they rarely meet, they are still quiet and distant, and when they meet again, their feelings remain unchanged.
In 1937, the Japanese invaded China and Peiping fell. Liang Shiqiu came to Kunming and later to Chongqing. In 1940, Bing Xin and Wu Wenzao also came to Chongqing.
The Bingxin couple lived in a boxy house on Gele Mountain, and she named it "Qianlu". Although this place is simple, there is a great deal of laughter and laughter, and there is no white Ding, and Liang Shiqiu, Lao She, Ba Jin, Guo Moruo and others often visit.
Bing Xin described that time as follows: "In the night, a lamp is like a bean, there have been love words from relatives, friends' conversations, sometimes the sound of rain penetrates from the window, and the moonlight soaks from the window, all of which can be remembered for the future." ”
Once, Liang Shiqiu was passing through Gele Mountain to run an errand in the city, and he did not have time to get off the bus to visit Qianlu.
After Bing Xin learned of this, he wrote a letter to Liang Shiqiu, and Bo sneered, "How are you doing lately?" I heard that once I went into the city, Gele Mountain did not stop, it seems a little sorry friends! ”
This is the best way to get along with friends, you tell me the truth, I tell you the truth; you are honest with me, I am sincere with you.
They do not pretend to be obedient to each other, nor do they make false and condescending to each other because of flattery.
In this way, there is no need to worry or be defensive, so that the heart will not be tired and the relationship will be long-term.
Liang Shiqiu's residence in Chongqing is called "Yashe", because of his cheerful and funny nature, he is often full of high-ranking friends. On January 5, 1941, a group of friends gave Liang Shiqiu his 40th birthday, and Liang Shiqiu asked Bingxin to write an inscription.
Bing Xin thought about it for a moment and waved it:
"Flowers have color, fragrance, taste, people have talent, love, fun, the lack of one, can not be a good friend of the family."
Among my friends, only Shiqiu is the most like a flower among men. Although it is a cockscomb flower. Cultivation has not yet succeeded, and Shiqiu still needs to work hard. ”
The crowd clapped their hands and laughed, happy.
In front of the funny Liang Shiqiu, the playfulness in the bones of Wen Wan's ice heart was vividly displayed. And Liang Shiqiu also cherished this inscription of Bingxin, and has always been with him since he went to Taiwan.
After the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, Liang Shiqiu always had a sense of panic and did not know the end, and Bing Xin wrote to comfort him: "You can eat and sleep, tea and rice are not lacking, these eight words are not easy." ”
The writer Ricus said: "The best tacit understanding in the world is not that someone understands your implications, but that someone understands your desire to stop talking." ”
In this life, the happiest thing is probably to meet a person who understands us.
He understands the silence and loneliness behind our desire to talk and stop, and he understands the wandering and pain hidden by our cheerful appearance. He understood all of this, and he felt it.
If you have this confidant in life, why should you ask for it?
Support each other, from this life to the next life
After the end of the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, Liang Shiqiu traveled all the way and finally went to Taiwan. In 1951, Mr. and Mrs. Bingxin returned to Beijing. Between the three of them, there was a shallow strait. Who knows that this gap is never seen again.
The world is separated, the situation is turbulent, and everything in the world is the touchstone of friendship.
In 1969, Liang Shiqiu received news that The Bingxin couple had died. He mourned and wrote a eulogy, "Mourning Ice Heart". After receiving a letter from a friend, I learned that the news was misinformed.
Liang Shiqiu "surprised, deeply regret Meng Lang."
Later, he learned that Bing Xin had seen his eulogy, and he couldn't help but sigh:
"Now that I know that Bingxin is not dead, I am very happy, and since Bingxin saw the article I wrote to mourn her, of course she knows that I am not dead either. Now that we know each other that they are still alive, it is not easy. ”
Sometimes, friendship is like marriage, only after experiencing a storm, can it be more pure and tenacious.
In 1982, Liang Shiqiu wrote "Irrelevant Doors": "There are a hundred flowers in spring and a moon in autumn, and there is a breeze in summer and snow in winter." If there is no idle thing to worry about, it is a good time in life. "Entrusting the daughter to the Bingxin couple."
Liang Wenqian said: "Dad asked me to bring a sentence, 'He has not changed'. Bing Xin smiled and responded, "I haven't changed either." ”
The meaning behind the dialogue is unknown to others, and the only people who know are probably these two people.
The feelings between people have always been not easy, and they must be able to withstand the wear and tear of the years and withstand the test of interests.
The friendship between Bing Xin and Liang Shiqiu has crossed the rough sand and dust of the times, the time is long, and the sea of life is sea, but none of this can make them lose the tacit understanding of the heart and the sharp.
Because it is not easy, it is precious.
In 1985, Liang Shiqiu's collection of essays, "Yashe Nostalgia - Reminiscences of the Past", was published, and Bing Xin gladly wrote the preface.
The years are like white clouds and dogs, and in the blink of an eye, everyone has become an elderly person.
In the preface, Bing Xin fondly recalled his career of more than 40 years since the victory of the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, writing: "Everyone is more than 80 years old, come back and talk about it and swim freely, how about it?" "I, Wenzao and your children are waiting for you!"
"Nostalgia" is a very prominent complex in Liang Shiqiu's pen in his later years.
Especially the city of Beijing, which has "the reed flowers of Taoran Pavilion, the willow shadow of Diaoyutai, the insect singing of Xishan Mountain, the night moon of Yuquan, and the bells of Tanzhu Temple", he misses night and night and does not sleep.
At that time, cross-strait relations were relaxed, and Taiwan compatriots could return to the mainland to visit relatives and friends. Bing Xin is also looking forward to the return of her old friend every day, who expected, she did not wait for the wind and rain to pass away, but what she waited for was the bad news of the unfortunate death of her old friend.
In 1987, Mr. Liang Shiqiu died of a heart attack in Taipei, still carrying the regret of not being able to return to the roots in his old age.
Liang Shiqiu once said that he had four major regrets in his life:
First, there are still too many books to read; second, there is no deep friendship with many Hongru, and in the blink of an eye, those people have become ancients; third, they owe the friendship of those who helped him; fourth, Lu Fangweng is sad but does not see Kyushu tong, and he also feels the same way.
Yes, people have sorrows and joys, and the moon has clouds and sunshine, and this matter is difficult to complete. Life is full of hatred, and it is always difficult to complete.
In just one month, the 87-year-old Bing Xin wrote two eulogies: "Tribute to Mr. Liang Shiqiu" and "Remembering Shiqiu", with tears in their words and blood in their words.
"Shi Qiu's health has always been very good, not as sick as I am. I couldn't imagine that today, Bingxin, who was not dead, would write a text reminiscing about Mr. Liang Shiqiu. ”
"How can I not be sad? The friendship between us is extraordinary! ”
On February 28, 1999, "Century Old Man" Bing Xin died in Beijing. This story has also dissipated forever in the dust of history.
Bing Xin and Liang Shiqiu, starting from a literary criticism, were young students, and later went to the United States to study together, waving Fang Wei.
Later, when the situation was turbulent, the heavens were different, but they could not sever the inextricable connection. They are not only spiritual confidants, but also pillars in life, supporting each other through their different lives.
There is a kind of friend, even if there is little contact, but can never forget.
As Wang Zengqi said: "The most ordinary things in the world are strange in peace and tasteful." ”
True water is fragranceless and full of joy. True friendship, like that cup of Qingyuan sweet tea, the longer it lasts, the more mellow it is.
The author | Shui Qing is good at writing about the past affairs of the Republic of China with temperature and depth.
The anchor | Yanan, radio anchor
Pictures | Network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)