Written | Nandu Weekly reporter Yan Yuhan
Foreword: In 2021, Xiaoan registered a famous marriage website and was invited to an offline store after receiving a call from Red Lady's customer service. After arriving at the store, XiaoAn finally spent more than 10,000 yuan to buy the so-called blind date package, and was arranged to meet with several men one after another.
Most of the men who were close to Xiao An disappeared after meeting once, and only one of them expressed his good feelings to Xiao An, but he soon proposed that he planned to go abroad, and if she was willing to continue to develop with him, Xiao An would follow him to settle abroad. Although he had a good feeling for him, Xiao An chose to give up after giving up everything he had in the country.
After this fruitless blind date, XiaoAn accidentally saw a video of a blogger on the social platform, telling her experience of being cheated on the marriage website, and realized that she had also been deceived, and those who met her may have been just childcare.
In July 2016, Nandu Weekly once made a cover report:
Five years on, has the dating site gotten better?
A search for "Red Lady scam" on Baidu revealed more than 3.42 million relevant results. Nowadays, this phenomenon is more common on marriage and love platforms, many users are invited to offline stores after registration, and are induced by "red brides" and "customer service" to consume high-priced blind date packages.
Nandu Weekly reporter interviewed Tangerine (pseudonym), a red bride who had worked in customer service on the marriage and love platform, and listened to her talk about the experience that had tormented her conscience and the blind date routine of the marriage platform.
Here's what Orange said:
Good fantasies before entering the industry, set of information after entering the industry, and make up dummies
I entered the industry by accident. I used to be a salesman, and the pressure was relatively high, so I quit. After a while, I wanted to find a fresh job. There are no particularly interesting jobs in our small cities, and it was very interesting to see that there were red brides recruited.
But I wasn't sure if I could get in, and I felt that the industry might have a bit of a threshold, because the recruitment requirements said that it was best to be married, have children, and if there was an experience of divorce, it was the best.
Later, when I went to the interview, I interviewed two companies, both of which are well-known marriage platforms. The interview asked similar questions, such as previous work experience, performance and salary, whether you have ever been in love or whether there are things around you that can be taken out to talk about, and let me go back to wait for news after a simple chat. One family was noticeably more understaffed and called me the next day to go to work.
Their treatment is still very good, because our small cities are generally single holidays, they are double holidays, every Week and Tuesday rest, the working time is ten o'clock in the morning to nine o'clock in the evening, the basic salary of the internship period is 3000 yuan, after the regularization is according to the commission, the basic salary is about 2300, and the basic salary of the sales industry is almost the same.
At that time, I was full of illusions about this industry, some people can't find a partner, through our side can help people to promote marriage, I feel that this is very beautiful, is a very virtuous industry. What I imagine is the feeling that people in this industry are very kind people who have done good things and can realize their self-worth. So I actually didn't care much about the salary, I just thought the industry was very interesting and interesting, so I went with a beautiful fantasy.
After entering the job, I have to train first, and the content of the training is to let me listen to how others call. We had a fixed script of words, we had to read it when we called, and we had to adjust it flexibly according to the situation of the chat, and I just treated our director as a customer and practiced on the phone with him.
I don't know if it's because I have sales experience before, I only trained for three days before I got on the job. When calling, our general vocabulary is to tell the other party first, "Seeing that you have registered our APP, we are very concerned about you, I feel that your conditions are very good, but the information is not filled in..." First set the information of the family, such as place of origin, work, income, family background, etc., which is the information that the general blind date will ask.
When talking, we must also show that we are very enthusiastic, everything is for their good looks, because the guests will definitely question our identity at the beginning, we will generally make up some of my previous beautiful fantasies, tell him that this industry is a very good person, want to help others introduce objects, and then say that you are more anxious, so we will contact you.
After explaining these clearly, you will start the routine, such as first praising the other party and saying that your conditions are quite good, why you are still single, and you will also talk about when you broke up and the reasons for the breakup, generally the other party will be slightly fluttery when you hear the praise. Because we talked for a long time in the early stage, really don't underestimate the set of information, while the set while boasting, the other party will flutter.
Our task is to block his way from work, life, and family aspects in the chat process: for example, ask if there is a person you like at work, and then go to set the reason, why not be together, you must lead the direction to you can't find the right person at work; whether there are friends in life to introduce, if there is any reason why it did not succeed, and then block the road; and then there is no introduction from the family, generally speaking, if the family introduction is successful, it will not be single, so I will tell him. Maybe the family is not introducing the type you like, but just urging you to find a partner.
In this way, in the early stage, he blocked all aspects of his road, brainwashed him and instilled a concept, that is, you will definitely not find an object in reality, if you do not find it from our side, you may end up alone. So later we introduced him, and he had no reason to refuse.
Then we would ask him what type he liked, and immediately after figuring it out, he would tell him, "We just happen to have a new member here," and then describe it as a bit like his door. If it is for men, we will introduce the occupation that the average family will like, that is, the more "easy to marry" occupation, such as kindergarten teachers, nurses, bank staff, customer service, etc., the relative working environment is relatively simple.
It's really not me complaining about those men, some of them are really confident, their own conditions are like that, the requirements for girls are high, and they have to be 160+ tall, and they have to look good, white skin... In short, we will make up a person according to his mate selection standards, I really can't make it up at the beginning, and when I call a lot later, I can make up a person with my mouth open.
For example, if the man is a truck driver, I can make up one: there is a girl on our side who has just come over, just done data certification, she is a kindergarten teacher, the work is relatively stable, it looks gentle, and she speaks quietly. But no one is perfect, there will definitely be some shortcomings, we will also make up a little shortcomings, for example, this girl may be a little smaller, slightly shorter than you asked, but a little shorter is actually acceptable to everyone. If everything matches, the other party may instead suspect that something is not good, or a little gap with his expectations, as long as the gap is not too big, they will believe it.
Fabricating empathy experiences, cheating is based on trust
There are very few customers in small cities, we can only get two or three guests per person a day, and our job is to call these two or three people all day long. If you have people in this industry, you will find that people in this industry can really talk, not for any other reason, because there are really no resources.
Most of the customers we called were men, and many of them would come over to the girl we had made up. Generally speaking, our department can call one or two people to the storefront a day by phone.
After "tricking" people into the store, there will be other departments and personnel to receive them. The reception was in a small, dimly lit room with a couch where two people sat facing each other and chatted. The content of the chat is basically similar to the routine on the phone, and will show guests some so-called member information, blocking the road in all aspects.
This kind of conversation can generally be a long time, and it is normal to talk for two or three hours. During this time, they will constantly create anxiety and keep urging you very anxiously. Later, when recommending the package, I will also tell the guests that this price is half paid with the other party, in fact, it is not at all, that is, each earns your share of money.
The lowest price of the package is more than 6,000 yuan, and the high one is also 20,000 or 30,000 yuan. When they trick you into signing the contract, they all say to help you find it, in fact, the package is within a certain period of time, you can see a few people a month, beyond that time, you will have two money and goods. They also don't care if the person they see is suitable for you, that is, the members who have paid the money are put together, they can make it together, they can't see it, most people can't find it, they are cheated of money.
Therefore, the store often has some old members come to make trouble, which is basically the "drag" word recipe, and the whole industry is like this. When the guests come to make trouble, the leader is also quite rogue, that is, you make a fuss, but what can you do? Anyway, in the place where I was, not a single guest had managed to get the money back.
There are also some kind of guests who are more cautious at the beginning, choose more than 6,000 packages, but if they find that your spending power is better, at the beginning they may not be in a hurry to fool you to come to a kind of ten or twenty thousand, which will let you come to a 6,000 first, and then tell you after meeting a few people that the money is not enough, if you pay another sum of money, there are several better resources that can be introduced to you and fish for the second sum.
Sometimes they also make up some of their own things, such as I am a single mother, how hard, because many of our customers are divorced, so it is easy to be sold with empathy, plus if you have similar emotional experiences, it is easier to close the distance, a lot of deception is based on trust.
They brainwash the sales staff, they have to have a meeting every day, once in the morning, once after work, and at noon they have to gather to play a game, and after playing the game, they have to open it again. In the morning, it is usually to set a goal and collectively shout "Come on, come on!" "Be well! Very good! "Such slogans.
If the performance of the day is not good, it will be opened again in the afternoon, which is equivalent to giving everyone chicken blood. If you find that everyone is in a bad mood, in addition to playing chicken blood, the director will also tell us, "Oh, don't be so mournful, we are doing good deeds, many people can't find a partner, maybe without us they will end up alone." "I don't know how he could have said such a thing with such confidence.
Deception deceives self-loathing
About half a month or so after joining the company, I called a guest, he was quite miserable, not very tall, only a meter and sixty tall, working on the construction site. He told me that he had been in prison because he was relatively thin and was always bullied by others on the construction site, and once he really couldn't resist, he injured a person, maybe a little seriously, and he was also imprisoned.
But after he got out of prison, it was difficult to find a partner because he had been in prison, he didn't have any savings, and I guess he didn't think I could help him, he was under a lot of pressure and wanted to find someone to talk to, so I called him for a long time. Our leader can listen to our calls, he heard it and prompted me to stop calling this person, because this person has been in prison and has no spending power, it is a meaningless customer, the leader asked me to hang up immediately, don't pay attention to this person again.
At that time, I felt that our leaders were very cold-blooded, and this work seemed to be different from what I imagined. At that time, I felt that I was lying to people, I was very guilty, I couldn't help them, I was consuming other people's feelings. And I finally know why they have double breaks in places like ours, because it takes two days to adjust our emotions, and to this extent we keep deceiving people, but anyone with a little conscience will not be able to stand it. By the last two days of my life, the whole person was in a very depressed state, with no spirit, completely immersed in self-loathing.
I told my family about it, and I said I really couldn't do it anymore and wanted to leave. My family just felt that there had to be a beginning and an end to doing things, and I didn't look for another job at that time.
I was reluctant to call someone over. Every time the leader asks me, "Did you have someone invite me over today?" I told him, "One night I'm coming." "But in fact, I secretly contacted them and told them not to come over."
During that time, I felt like a liar, and I was already very self-compromised, but our leader was very proud, felt that I was the savior of the customer, and my job was sacred, which may be the reason why I can't be a leader.
Later, a new director asked us to change all our avatars to our own photos, because some male members would look better at the red brides who communicated with them. I hated the director, he was very greasy, and he told one of my more beautiful colleagues that you could pat the male member's thigh, touch his hand, and make them pay. Come on! Are you a red lady or an old bustard?!
Once after he gave me training, I threw up, and my spirit and psychology were strongly hit. How can it be so disgusting? What sins did I do in my last life?
When I left my job, I simply scolded the colleagues and leaders in the office, and then left with my better colleagues, which was very cool.
After I left, a friend of mine was also re-employed on a similar platform and another well-known dating website.
One day she begged me to help her with childcare, because she was a good friend and her life was difficult, and I agreed to her out of the so-called friendship of my friend.
The other party is a very good boy, is a little short, looks OK, the income is also good, talk and talk are very polite, may be a little short, so can not find the object, but in fact, his personality charm is still there. I loved watching Attack on Titan, and he loved watching it, and we both loved Yuki Niigaki, and a lot of the hobbies overlapped.
But because I was originally a childcare, it was difficult for me to look at him with a normal heart, and I was a little weak and guilty about him. I asked my friend when she could end it, and when I knew she wanted to make another profit from the guy, I was really a little uncomfortable and couldn't hold back, and then the guy asked me if I could have a further relationship with him, and I refused. We said goodbye very decently, and he deleted me, and there was no drag, and now I think he was a very good person.
Here I also want to say that in fact, there are not no good resources, especially good men, generally the local red brides themselves on the board, will not introduce good resources to guests, this kind of high-quality resources are given priority to their own internal digestion. I don't know if every place is different, because the director who came to the job at that time was punished because he fell in love with his customers and got married, but we don't prohibit it here, and it is not clear whether the rules are different in each place.
Finally, I still want to solemnly warn everyone not to easily believe in online dating platforms, many of which are fake! In this case, everyone should keep an eye on it and be careful to guard against false information.
(At the request of the interviewees, Xiao'an and Tangerine are pseudonyms.) The opinions of the respondents do not represent the position of this article, and the pictures are all material images and have nothing to do with this article