I knocked on the little blackboard again, said countless times, don't beat each other after the breakup, or in the middle of the redemption, because not only will it not do you any good for your redemption, but it will also lengthen the front line that you have saved, and most importantly, even the last trace of goodwill in the other person's heart will be erased.
Because of your stalking, the end is to constantly reduce your value in the other person's heart.
1, let the other party think that you are very selfish.
Why are you stalking?
To put it bluntly, it is the result that you are not willing to accept the breakup, you are not willing to be broken up, you don't want to be abandoned, you don't want to lose each other, all kinds of emotions mixed together, become stalking, right.
That boils down to being selfish.
You don't want to, so, you have to go and pester.
At this time, you forget what the other party's wishes are.
Since the other party chooses to break up, it means that you don't want to continue the relationship, and your best way is to respect the other party's wishes, but you don't, you think you can't lose, so you desperately entangle each other.
The car rutted a bunch of words, and finally found that the other party was more angry and more bored.
Don't give yourself a blind definition that the other party is not in love, it may be just simple, the other party thinks that you are very selfish. The subtext of the other party's heart is: I want to break up, which has shown that I am very unhappy, why can't you respect me for a while, and when you break up, you still have to pestering me and annoying me.
The point is, in love, the other party is already unhappy, and now the breakup will be forced by you, forced to a dead end, what do you think the other party will think?
So, those entanglements that are later blocked and removed are also for this reason.
That is, you will find that in the entanglement, you will subconsciously say: "How do I" (how much you have paid for this relationship), the other party is originally negative emotions bursting, ta will not consider how much you have to pay, but will feel, even breakup, you have to emotionally kidnap ta, so that ta have a sense of oppression.
Your selfishness will make him feel even more that he is right to break up with you.
2. Deepen negative emotions towards you.
Remember, since the other party proposed to break up, it means that it is already thoughtful, and the feelings for you are also extremely uncomfortable, whether it is disappointed in you, or feel that you are not doing well in any way, it is enough to show that your impression in the other person's heart is already a continuous subtraction.
Then if you are pestering each other, the other party will magnify your badness at this time node, your shortcomings, and you will be more convinced that the decision to break up is right.
At this time, the defense mechanism against you may change from unwillingness at the beginning to resistance, do you think that this will not form an obstacle for you in recovery?
Besides, ask yourself what was your original intention?
Pestering each other is nothing more than hoping that the other party can change their minds, so since it is hoped that the other party can change their minds, should you be better at yourself, give the other party a good posture, let the other party not be disgusted with you, continue to resent it?
And as long as he can change his impression of you, it will be much easier to re-establish a relationship with you in the future.
3. Directly block and delete.
Maybe after the breakup, the other party did not delete you and block you, and even said that it was hindered by the previous feelings, and was willing to wait until your mood stabilized and become a friend.
But your entangled behavior will make the other party tireless, and finally in desperation, you can only block and delete you, so as to make your world clean.
Remember, everyone, no matter how sad you are when you break up, ask yourself, what do you really want?
If you tell me that if you break up, you break up, and I don't want to go back, I just want to pestering each other, venting my dissatisfaction, emotions, then OK, you want to entangle, how to entangle.
But you have to save each other, remember, don't get entangled, you think, you still have the other party's contact information, at least, in the later stage, we have a window to establish a connection, then if the other party directly deletes you because of your entanglement, what are you going to do? We also have to find a way to make the other party willing to add you back, isn't this giving your own redemption, setting up obstacles?
And, personally, I've been beaten up by stalkers, and that feeling is really annoying. My ex kept calling me, and then said how much he had paid, and said that I shouldn't have done this to her, and later it didn't move me, so it turned into an attack, and even said that I was a scumbag.
But obviously some of her practices made me intolerable, and I also gave me a lot of opportunities, but I was disappointed again and again, and finally I really couldn't hold on, so I proposed to break up.
When she pestered me, my first thought was, why don't you reflect on yourself? Good feelings, will I be willing to break up? Now I can't calm down at work, every day is either a phone call or WeChat, no way, I can only block.
So, guys, don't stalk and fight, after all, you are really not beautiful.
1. Adjust your mindset and give each other time.
I am very much in favor of disconnection, because if it is broken, it may be really cold.
Therefore, if you are entangled with the other party and the other party is very annoyed, then at this time, you can make a rationalization for your previous behavior, but the premise is that your mentality should be adjusted, and those who have a sense of need for each other must learn to hide.
So how to rationalize?
Let me give you the simplest example, which my ex sent me:
"Recently I thought a lot, before pestering you, in fact, I am too selfish, I don't want to let go, so I will use such an extreme way, let you come back to me, but there is no concern about your feelings, are you willing, therefore, I want to apologize to you, I do not want you to forgive, but just want you to understand, I pestered your behavior, really not deliberately torturing you, all because I can't put it down, now I figure it out, I want to respect your feelings, since I am not happy, I make you uncomfortable, I should respect your decision. “
At that time, my ex gave me such a haircut, directly got to my point, and then I pulled her WeChat back. Later, since I started working in the emotional industry, I found out that she was really smart and knew when to step back to ease our relationship and achieve what she wanted.
And then what are you going to do?
It is to give the other party a time to digest negative emotions, and then you actively review the problems between you, for example, whether you are too capable of doing, too do not know how to take care of other people's feelings, too do not know how to provide emotional value, or whether there is a problem with communication, only care about your own ideas, do not consider others at all, and so on.
Then targeted to improve.
During that time, you can talk about serious things or the other party's interests to open up your interaction methods. For example, if you encounter something that you don't understand, then ask the other person, or share something that the other party is interested in, the whole process should be based on identifying, supporting, understanding, and praising the other party as the core.
2, let the other party gradually have a demand for you.
Don't be fooled by the other person's "no love". Because it is your unhappiness to get along, the other party will say that they do not love, but if in the process of friends, you let the other party feel happy and comfortable again, the other party is willing to maintain a relatively intimate relationship with you, this relationship, may rise from friends, to good friends, confidants, and so on.
This is a precursor to the other person's gradual need for you, after all, the beginning of every relationship begins with a very good friend relationship, right.
But don't worry, don't expose your sense of need, when the other party shares with you, you have to identify with each other, and put forward your point of view, and then meet the other party's current emotional needs.
When the other party's mood is relatively low, do not skimp on your comfort, to stand more on the other party's point of view, to the other party analysis, appease, so that the other party in the emotional gradual dependence on you.
When he doesn't want to say it, don't force the other party to ask, to say: "Since you don't want to say, there must be your reasons, it doesn't matter, when you want to talk to someone, I am behind you, you can always find me."
Remember, pushing and pulling is very important in relationships. That is to say, there is a degree of progress and retreat, so that your relationship can be continuously compatible upwards, not downwards.
Of course, there are many ways, but the most important thing is to find the right way to lower the other party, because your stalking, resulting in negative emotions continue to rise.
As long as the other party can digest the negative emotions, and your way can make the person feel that you can still move forward, then your compound is also a matter of time.
I've seen a lot of friends say lately that it's really hard and troublesome to fall in love, but I want to say that falling in love is very simple because of your actions, thoughts, and making love difficult and complicated.
You think, if you can understand each other, the other party can also understand you, you have a very good mode of getting along, each other is independent and free, is it still difficult to fall in love?
Finally, I would like to say that 2022 has arrived, and we should start in a new way to cherish the people in front of us.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C