The number of words in this text is about 3919 words
Reading time: about 4 minutes
Sections of this article:
01. Disabled teenagers from the countryside were admitted to Cambridge
02, parents are the key factors for him to achieve counterattack
03. 4 points worth learning from parents
In the New Year's Day holiday of 2022, we ushered in a new year.
It is hoped that all patients with mental and psychological disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder will be able to recover this year and gradually withdraw their drugs.
If you are a student group, I hope that you will successfully return to school and return to the normal growth and learning track.
New Year, New Hope, today I want to share a true inspirational story. I hope to inspire and inspire patients and their parents.
Yang Mengheng was born in an ordinary rural family in Yunnan, his parents are teachers, and he loves him, but he is also strict.
At the age of 6, Yang Mengheng lost his arm in an accident. This was a major blow to their family, and Yang Mengheng's life began to become unusual.
After the accident, Yang Mengheng's parents quickly got rid of depression. They taught Yang Mengheng to write with his feet and learn basic life skills.
7-year-old Yang Mengheng is practicing eating, the picture comes from the Internet
They constantly noticed how other similar people could get out, telling their sons and taking them to see them, and their mother also taught Yang Mengheng to write calligraphy with his feet, thinking that he would be able to sell calligraphy works to make money in the future.
Yang Mengheng also worked very hard, he wrote better than many of his peers with his feet, his grades were among the best, and he laughed at his classmates at first, and slowly became friendly and respectful to him.
When he was lonely inside, Yang Mengheng liked to play football, and at the beginning he lost his arm, it was difficult to balance, and he often fell on his head. But after insisting on training, he learned faster than others and became the captain of the county football team.
Yang Mengheng on the court, the picture comes from the Internet
Later, he was selected for the Kunming Disabled Athletics Team, practiced racing, and achieved good results at the Provincial Games. But then the international rules of paraling were changed, and he lost his advantage and practiced swimming instead.
Yang Mengheng said that the training was very painful and cruel, "I still remember the pain of the drill heart when I touched the wall." Because I could only touch the wall with my head, the moment I hit, the pain spread from the scalp, to the cervical spine, and then to the entire spine. ”
But this time, the hard work still did not have the expected return. Because of the injury and poor competition results, Yang Mengheng retired from the athlete team, and his dream of being an athlete was shattered.
After this, Yang Mengheng was confused, particularly depressed and decadent, and slept every day. His parents were in a hurry and gave him two choices, either to go back to middle school or to kick him out of the house at the age of 18.
Yang Mengheng thought about it and found that reading seemed to be the only way out. So, at the age of 17, Yang Mengheng returned to high school.
In the beginning, he finished third from the bottom of the grade. And he is older than his classmates around him, and his experience is very different, he can't find friends to talk about, and he is very lonely.
But Yang Mengheng once again showed his tenacity and fighting spirit, he got up at six o'clock and slept at twelve o'clock every day, as long as he was awake, he was studying.
He forced himself to re-learn junior high school knowledge, forced himself to ask at least three questions after each class, and forced himself to learn to think. A semester passed, Yang Mengheng took the third place in the grade, "even my mother thought I was cheating." ”
Yang Mengheng in high school, the picture comes from the Internet
This effort has finally paid off tremendously.
In 2010, Yang Mengheng took the college entrance examination, became the first place in the county's liberal arts, and was admitted to Sun Yat-sen University to study English. Yang Mengheng had a feeling of raising his eyebrows and exhaling, and finally had the feeling of coming out, "This is actually equivalent to the first victory in my life, and I have been holding back for a long time."
But when he arrived at Sun Yat-sen University, he felt as if he had returned to high school: the people around him were better than him, and they not only had good grades, but also stood out in all aspects and looked good.
Yang Mengheng was very painful at first, because the psychological gap was too large, and there were many inconveniences in life. But he soon found a way.
In addition to studying hard, he also deliberately integrated into the group, found classmates to go to classes, eat, and worked hard to express his strengths: football, speech, taekwondo, etc.
These positive performances soon changed the impression of his classmates, who were willing to associate with him and would ask him to participate in activities. In this process, Yang Mengheng gradually found self-confidence.
Yang Mengheng also won a scholarship to go to an educational institution part-time and do some entrepreneurial projects on his own. Since his sophomore year, he has been basically financially independent. Even later, when he went to study in the United Kingdom, he saved enough money to apply again, and finally was admitted to Cambridge University.
Yang Mengheng, who graduated from Cambridge, comes from the Internet
Three years ago, Yang Mengheng returned to China after graduating from Cambridge. He originally wanted to do something big in the cause of education, and his mood was surging with emotion, but in the face of the epidemic, double reduction, and many practical factors, he found that it was not so simple.
At the same time, Yang Mengheng also ushered in a new role, he became a father. After the birth of the child, he can better appreciate the difficulties of his parents. Especially because of his special experience, his parents were under tremendous pressure.
Now, Yang Mengheng treats life positively and peacefully. He continued to do his own entrepreneurial projects, also made some attempts in new media, and thought that if he really couldn't do it, he could go to a doctorate and become a college teacher. "Thin water and long flow, a little bit to accumulate, do what you can do to the extreme."
Although Yang Mengheng's parents are still worried that their son's career is not stable enough, from the perspective of the public, Yang Mengheng, who holds a Master's degree in Cambridge and gets married and has children, has rewritten his fate.
He was no longer the rural teenager who was looked down upon and worried that there was no way out because of his disability.
I believe that many people will be very emotional after watching Yang Mengheng's experience, and even ashamed of themselves:
People are disabled, and they all mix better than me.
Because in the public's impression, a person who loses his arm at such a young age should form a major psychological trauma and feel very inferior! Why can Yang Mengheng finally counterattack and achieve higher achievements than many people?
It's largely to his parents.
The son lost his arm, and the parents were certainly very heartbroken and worried, but they did not blindly complain and blame him and the outside world, but adopted a very rational and positive attitude.
Yang Mengheng and his father, the picture comes from the Internet
They consciously hide their anxieties and fears. Yang Mengheng's stump has atrophy symptoms, Yang's father took his son everywhere to see a doctor, and the doctor's opinion is more pessimistic. The process of seeing a doctor was also very tiring, and the young Yang Mengheng couldn't help but lose his temper.
But his father never blamed him, and he felt bad in his heart, but he never cried in front of his son.
There is also Yang Mengheng's mother, who constantly finds role models and targets for her disabled son. She inquired everywhere about the ways out for people with similar disabilities, and also took her children to listen to a lecture by Xie Kunshan, a disabled calligrapher and painter.
After returning home, she encouraged Yang Mengheng to write with her feet, but her son did not want to, so she personally went to battle, took off her shoes and socks and wrote them to her son with her feet. Yang Mengheng said, "We both cramped together, and in the end I learned, and my mother also learned."
From this point of view, Yang Mengheng's parents themselves have a high anti-quotient.
There are still many educational details worth learning from for good parents, which will not be expanded here, you can click on the link above.
In short, Yang Mengheng's parents know how to respect and tolerate their children, and do not cause obvious superimposed psychological trauma to their children;
More importantly, they continue to teach by example, firmly conveying this message to their son:
Although we are disabled, missing arms, and will encounter many difficulties and misunderstandings, the sky will not fall; as long as we work hard, many things can be solved, and finally we will be rewarded, and we may even become successful people.
Therefore, Yang Mengheng has actually encountered many setbacks along the way, and has also been excluded and ridiculed by others, and he has also been depressed and confused.
But he will always recover quickly, thinking of ways to solve and adjust his mentality. Because he knows in his heart that problems can be solved, there are many roads, and there are still many possibilities for his future.
This is a positive belief rooted in his heart.
Therefore, with the spiritual nourishment and understanding from his parents from childhood to adulthood, and the self-confidence after continuous efforts to achieve achievements, Yang Mengheng did not form obvious psychological trauma, let alone suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and other diseases.
It is hoped that Yang Mengheng's inspirational experience will enlighten parents, and family education is often a key factor in whether children can achieve true success and happiness.
First, when the child encounters a major setback, parents should find the power of example for the child to help the child "stand up" again.
For example, parents of patients with depression and bipolar disorder may wish to learn from Yang Mengheng's parents and take their children to exchange experiences with patients with truly recovered psychosocial disorders, which may be conducive to enhancing their children's confidence in recovery and reducing their sense of shame.
Second, when children encounter difficulties in the learning process, parents should not blame, belittle, and do not cause children to have learning disabilities.
On the contrary, parents should learn from Yang Mengheng's mother and work together with their children. It can not only enhance parent-child feelings, but also reduce children's psychological pressure and better overcome difficulties.
We have written an article before, which is a study of domestic scholars: among students with suicide crisis, their parents' professions are at the top of the list of teachers, more than 4 times that of the second place!
We analyzed at that time that in the final analysis, this has nothing to do with the parents' profession, but the key lies in whether the parents know how to raise children scientifically.
Like Yang Mengheng's parents, although they are teachers, they have not scolded or belittled because of their son's poor academic performance, and they have not compared their son with other excellent children.
Therefore, Yang Mengheng's heart has always been positive and optimistic. Although he did not go to school for a period of time and left behind a lot of studies, he always had no obvious learning obstacles, but had a yearning for knowledge, and he was very focused, enthusiastic and energetic in learning, which was an efficient learning state.
Yang Mengheng, the picture comes from the Internet
This is inseparable from the education and edification of their parents.
Third, if the child delays his or her studies due to objective factors, parents should guide the child to have a time mindset and look at the current situation from a lifelong perspective.
Many teenagers with depression and bipolar disorder have taken a break from school, and when they return to school, they are worried that they will be ridiculed or despised by others because of their age and inability to keep up with their studies.
Parents should guide their children to have a time mindset and realize that this is only a certain stage of life, not the result.
On the contrary, after the child's depression, bipolar disorder and recovery, this period of illness experience can be transformed into a wealth in life, so that his psychological age far exceeds that of his peers, and he can cope with setbacks in life more calmly and intelligently.
We once received a patient Haoxuan, who had dropped out of school for 5 years due to illness, was admitted to university at the age of 23, and now has entered the world's top 500 companies to work, and is actively preparing for research, the latest news, has been married and have children.
Fourth, a positive, optimistic, and gritty personality is more likely to infect people and gain the approval of others than a good look.
Yang Mengheng's wife is her high school classmate and a high-achieving student, who was once admitted to a good university in the UK. Just to take care of Yang Mengheng, she gave up studying.
Moreover, when she decided to marry Yang Mengheng, although her parents were a little worried at first, they quickly agreed and did not look down on the physically handicapped son-in-law.
Hopefully, this will inspire teenagers with facial anxiety. Good character and qualities are more contagious than external images.
We also mentioned in last week's article that there is likely to be psychological trauma behind facial anxiety. However, after repairing psychological trauma, it is necessary to consciously shape your excellent qualities and personality, and be a person with a sound personality and independent thoughts, which is more conducive to finding a soul mate and obtaining a high-quality marriage.
Yang Mengheng said that he liked the legal "big coffee" Luo Xiang.
For his unusual experience, as well as some achievements and setbacks along the way, he quoted a quote from Teacher Luo Xiang:
"What everyone can actually do, what life can become is very accidental, we are all wrapped up in society, by their own surrounding environment to move forward, and finally even if it is done, the proportion of personal factors is relatively small." 」
I personally like Mr. Luo Xiang. But I think there's something negative about his statement, a bit of a "fatalistic" flavor. This may be related to some of Mr. Luo Xiang's personal experiences, and even some psychological trauma is not excluded.
Although Yang Mengheng is currently experiencing setbacks in his career, the future direction is not very clear. But from another point of view, he is still very young, highly educated, capable, and indomitable, and this "uncertainty" actually means that he still has many possibilities.
If he continues to think, even interdisciplinary learning, he can still make a lot of achievements in the future, and he can make a difference.
Each of us may encounter setbacks in life and go through different stages of life. In any case, we should hold the mentality of "active efforts and let nature take its course", lifelong learning, continuous improvement, and ultimately realize self-worth!