Fan Zhongyan said: "Do not be happy with things, and do not grieve with yourself." ”
In life, learn to let go and relax the heart in order to go further, and people in middle age, but also to learn to look down on everything, "not to be happy with things, not to be sad with themselves" is not only an attitude towards the world, but also the best way to reconcile with themselves.
01, learn to look down on the relationship
When people reach middle age, they must first know how to look down on everything, and the first step to look down on everything is to look down on the relationship and enjoy loneliness.
Hesse said, "Geniuses have a lonely life." ”
Marie Curie has a classic little story, once, when she was studying, her partner invited her to join, but she did not agree, and then the partner danced and sang next to her, but she was not at all moved.
At this time, the partner wanted to see if she was really unaffected, so several people joined hands to set up several stools next to her, and as soon as Marie Curie moved, the stool that had been erected would fall down, but the result was that the stool was intact and Marie Curie was still immersed in her own world.
If Marie Curie does not have such a calm nature, does not know how to enjoy loneliness, but chooses to join the circle of fun, perhaps she can enjoy a moment of happiness, but can not have their own achievements, let alone explore their own life.
Therefore, sometimes, instead of spending time and time to experience the so-called "relationship", it is better to jump out of the circle, look down on the relationship, and run your own life.
You must know that all the gifts in the world have already secretly calibrated the price.
It seems that there is no cost of a penny of the relationship, in fact, the use of sunk costs, the need for people to use their minds and time to operate and care, at the same time, is losing their own bright future.
02, learn to look down on gains and losses
As the saying goes, "Where there is a loss, there is gain." ”
If a person attaches too much importance to gains and losses, he will often lose more things, so when people reach middle age, they must learn to look down on gains and losses in order to go farther and longer, otherwise, they can only stop in place and hesitate.
In the Qing Dynasty, there was a beautiful talk that has been passed down to this day.
At that time, there was an official in a high position in the court, and his hometown happened to have a dispute with his neighbor because of the open space between the mansions, which was supposed to be a narrow passage for transportation between the two sides, but it was preempted by the neighbors to build houses, and the official's family wrote to him, hoping that he would deal with the matter.
After receiving the letter, the official believed that he should not be too preoccupied, because too much emphasis on gains and losses, but more than worth the losses, so his reply was written: "Why not let him be three feet?" ”
Subsequently, the official's family took the initiative to give in three feet, and when the situation was seen, the neighbors also took the initiative to give back three feet, which is the origin of the beautiful talk of "Six Feet Lane".
In fact, the fundamental reason why the official let his family back down three feet is gain and loss, he looks at it very lightly, it seems to be a loss, but in fact, it is a kind of high-level retreat to advance.
03, learn to look down on suffering
Someone said, "Suffering is a gift of life." ”
In life, sweet and sour, bitter and salty, some people have to go through a while, some people have lost in suffering, and since then they have been devastated, while some people have gone through all the detours in life, and life has been a smooth road since then.
Kobe Bryant was just an obscure basketball kid before he became famous, but he was not afraid of hardships, facing Los Angeles at four o'clock in the morning, sweating, and successfully embarked on the road to success of basketball superstars.
Edison has experienced thousands of experiments to succeed, and has made great contributions to the cause of human lighting, if Edison chooses to give up before success, perhaps human beings will enter the light world a long time later, or still live in the dark.
The writer Balzac said: "Suffering is a stepping stone of life, and the strong regard it as a great wealth, and the weak regard it as the minions of the devil." ”
The reason why life will be many different, in addition to the birth that cannot be changed, it is more of a choice after suffering, the strong choose to face the difficulties, the weak choose to surrender on the spot, so the former reaps success, the latter fails.
The story of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill should be a household name.
When he was young, because of stuttering, Churchill was subjected to all kinds of snubs and ridicule, and his life was once gloomy.
But fortunately, he has a strong heart, in the face of tribulations, he did not choose to give in, but chose to face the difficulties, he kept practicing, get rid of the problem of stuttering, no one knows how much frustration and hardship he experienced.
In the end, he successfully stood on the podium, spoke fluent English, and ascended to the glorious throne of life, no longer the ridiculed "stuttering boy", but the respected "Prime Minister".
It is true that there are many tribulations in the world, but as long as the heart is firm, you can rain and shine, and if you want to harvest your own life, the key is to know how to look down on everything, such as looking down on relationships, looking down on gains and losses, and looking down on suffering.
In middle age, compared with the strength of young people to rush forward, do not hit the head and break the blood and do not turn back, middle-aged people should know how to be introverted and learn to look down on everything.
Someone once said: "There are eight or nine things in life that are not satisfactory, think more about one or two, do not think about eight or nine, maybe everything will be prosperous." ”
Sometimes, the more you think, the more you think, it is easy to fall into the abyss of unsatisfactory, on the contrary, everything is looked down upon, and perhaps everything can be extremely good.
Therefore, "do not be happy with things, do not be sad with yourself" is the attitude that middle-aged people should learn to deal with the world, everything is looked down, maybe the "bad luck" that has been lingering around will retreat, followed by the good luck of crying with joy again and again.
Give it a thumbs up, may you look down on everything, live a frank and comfortable life.