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Source: Reader's Digest Magazine
Among the literati of the Republic of China, Hu Shi's kindness was well known.
He is not as sharp as Lu Xun, not as sentimental as Xu Zhimo, nor as proud as Qian Zhongshu, he is generous, kind, and sincere.
In Beijing at that time, his home was always full of friends on weekends, and he welcomed people from all walks of life, even hawkers.
To the poor, he receives money;
He knows righteousness to those who go astray;
He is attentive and thoughtful to the people around him.
His friends were all over the place in Every corner of Beijing, so that the most common phrase people said at that time was "My friend Hu Shizhi", such a good popularity is inseparable from his kindness.
Generous people, put themselves in the shoes of others
Hu Shi grew up in a big family, his father died early, his mother raised him alone, and his aunts and sisters-in-law were unhappy, so they threw their faces at the two of them.
Therefore, Hu Shi was young and precocious, and he knew how to see people's faces at a very young age.
After growing up, Hu Shi once said: "The most disgusting thing in the world is like an angry face; the most vulgar thing in the world is like putting an angry face to others." ”
As thick as Hu Shi, he has followed the ancient precept of "do not do to others what you do not want" all his life, he knows that it is uncomfortable to see people's faces, so he never refuses to throw his face in front of people, which makes people embarrassed.
In 1938, Hu Shi was appointed ambassador to the United States, when Hu Shi did not have much diplomatic experience, went to the United States to ask for people, had to socialize every day, was tired and half dead, and had extremely bad mood.
However, his subordinates were not affected by his bad emotions at all, and every time they came to find Hu Shi in the middle of the night, Hu Shi was still harmonious.
Hu Shi wrote to his wife Jiang Dongxiu:
What I am doing now is suffering, but you know my temper, I just don't go, I go, I always have to put all my spirit out, always don't let people see my stinky face, always don't ask everyone to follow me to suffer.
Hu Shi once taught his son that:
There is a basic rule of gregariousness, that is, always think for others, always think about 'If I do him, what should I do?' I can't stand it, can he stand it? I don't want to, does he want to? If you think like that, you're a good boy.
If a person can do "what you don't want, don't do to others", put yourself in the shoes of others in everything, and do not impose on others what you don't want to do, such a person can be regarded as a generous person.
A generous person knows how to be grateful
Hu Shi lost his father at the age of three, and his mother was often angry between several daughters-in-law.
In such a situation, Hu Shi became the only hope for her mother, she painstakingly cultivated him, polished him in small things, helped him choose a teacher, paid much higher fees than ordinary students, and extremely embarrassed to help him fight for the cost of studying.
Later, Hu Shi went abroad to study, and once she went for ten years, she alone bore unimaginable loneliness, not to mention, once she was seriously ill, and she specially did not let people tell Hu Shi...
Like all traditional mothers, she gave so much for her children.
She chose a marriage for Hu Shi, the daughter of the Jiang family, Jiang Dongxiu, a big girl who had not seen much of the world and had her feet wrapped around her.
At that time, after the Jiang and Hu families were engaged, Hu Shi went to Shanghai and the United States to study.
After more than ten years, they were not married.
But Jiang Dongxiu has already regarded herself as a daughter-in-law who has been a doorman, the Jiang family was originally a wang family, at home, Jiang Dongxiu has his own yahuan mother-in-law, and he does not have to do everything himself.
However, she personally came to Hu Shi's house to take care of Hu Shi's frail and sickly mother, and as soon as Hu Shi went away, she took care of her for ten years.
Hu Shi's father died early, it was his mother who brought him up, he knew that his mother's not easy, although he was not happy about this marriage, he also refused to disobey his mother.
In the process of wandering outside for ten years, Jiang Dongxiu was able to perform filial piety for him, and Hu Shi was also very grateful.
So this model of new culture, when the new youth around him chased the new marriage, resolutely stepped into the palace of the old marriage.
He and Jiang Dongxiu have been passing for decades.
He was meek and obedient to his wife and was notoriously afraid of his wife.
As Zhang Ailing said, they are rare examples of happiness in old-style marriages.
Hu Shi was so handsome and talented, but he stayed with her all his life, did not take concubines, and was so obedient.
All this is because Hu Shi knows how to be grateful and knows how to be grateful.
On the one hand, it is to repay the mother's nurturing grace, and on the other hand, it is to repay the wife's filial piety.
Interactions between people are mutual.
Only when a person has a grateful heart, others dare to communicate with it with confidence, and only in the process of getting along can they dare to pay with confidence, and do not have to worry that one day this friend will abandon the person without returning.
A person who knows how to be grateful can be regarded as a kind person, and only then can others dare to trust you and take you as a friend.
A generous person who knows how to tolerate others
Hu Shi and Lu Xun can be described as the twin stars of the New Culture Movement, but their personality statements are diametrically opposed.
Because of the difference in concepts, Lu Xun satirized Hu Shi several times, but Hu Shi never directly confronted Lu Xun, nor did he engage in a pen battle with him, let alone show disrespect for his personality.
On September 4, 1929, Hu Shi wrote a long letter to Zhou Zuoren and said with great emotion:
For the Junjia Kundi in his life, there is only the most sincere respect, all kinds of separations and personnel changes, and this meaning has never diminished. Although the phase is far away, the phase period is deep. This time the book is full of affection, the fruit is in line with the usual wishes, the joy is so great, as for the sadness. This is the true feeling, I want to be able to see the letter.
His respect for Lu Xun was beyond words.
After Lu Xun's death, Xu Guangping traveled around for the publication of the Complete Works of Lu Xun, but no one was willing to help, so he had to turn to Hu Shi, who immediately began to operate.
He never considered the gains and losses of grievances, whether it was friends or people who had ever opposed him, he did his best to help.
After Lu Xun's death, Su Xuelin scolded Lu Xun, and Hu Shi did not take the opportunity to echo it, but instead criticized Su Xuelin, saying that Su Xuelin's words were the evil tone of the old texts and should be deeply guarded, believing that Lu Xun "has his own strengths, such as his early literary works, such as his research on the history of novels, which are all superior work" and should "discuss exactly what his thinking is."
Tolerance and objectivity and peace.
Even in his later years, Hu Shi's evaluation of Lu Xun was very pertinent and never slightly derogatory. Hu Shi's tolerance and generosity can be seen.
Hu Shi once said a very important sentence, that is, "Tolerance is more important than freedom."
He believed that "tolerance is the foundation of all freedom, and without tolerance, there is no freedom." ”
Tolerance is a beautiful emotion, a noble quality, a light of benevolence, a lofty realm. Hu Shi himself is also practicing this noble concept of tolerance all his life.
As the saying goes, if you are clumsy, the way to treat people is not as good as being generous. In interpersonal communication, the generous person thinks about others, and others will naturally think about him; the generous person knows how to be grateful, and others are naturally willing to help him; the generous person knows how to be tolerant, and the generous mind is easy to convince people.
Thick virtue and then loaded, thick road is the cornerstone of a person's life, thick people are calm and powerful, they are clumsy and skillful, the road of life is often broad and stable.
Generous people always know that they are wrong
In 1922, Yu Dafu published an article in the magazine "Creation", pointing out that Yu Jiaju's translation of "The Meaning and Value of Life" had many errors, and because of Yu Dafu's unscrupulous personality, he used a lot of fierce words in the article, and even insulted Yu Jiaju. Ironically, Uddhav himself was not very proficient in translation, and as a result, there were many errors.
After Hu Shi saw this article, based on the psychology of "being a good teacher", he wrote a special article, pointing out that Yu Dafu's translation was "almost a big mistake", and thought that Yu Dafu was "shallow and boring without self-awareness".
At that time, the Creation Society was anxious to raise its sword and establish its might, and as soon as it saw that Hu Shi had made a move, it immediately came to the spirit, and Guo Moruo immediately wrote a "Repercussions of Repercussions" and launched a fierce attack on Hu Shi. Soon, both sides joined the warband, causing a vigorous polemic.
More than half a year later, Hu Shi wrote a letter to Guo Moruo and the Creation Society, and took the initiative to propose reconciliation, saying: "I sincerely hope that you will forgive me for my 'no English' words, only as a well-intentioned slanderous friend, inadvertently saying too much." If you don't like to hear such clumsy words, I would like to apologize to you through this letter. ...... In conclusion, I hope that this little pen-and-ink lawsuit will not completely damage our old or new friendship. ”