Nowadays, the pressure and exhaustion of life, it seems that more and more people can realize that their psychology is abnormal, and rationally begin to look for professional help. Why does that person have mental illness? What are the problems behind them, and how to deal with healing?
Too tired and too hard at the same time, but also can not get the care of the people around them
The biggest trigger for mental illness is that emotional problems caused by too much stress than you can bear, or that you continue to be under too much stress, work, study, social relationships, and even marital relationships can be a source of stress. Especially between parents and lovers, if you can't handle intimate relationships well, it is easy to become the last straw that crushes your emotional collapse.
The reason why many people feel happy before marriage is because they have too many beautiful visions for the future, and the reason why they become depressed and painful after marriage is that there are indeed more tedious things in life, and the other party cannot care about themselves. Pay is not recognized, grievances no one can understand and no one pays attention to, the fatigue of life at this moment will overwhelm people, and they will feel that there is no hope at all.
Therefore, learning to reduce pressure on yourself, properly expressing your inner feelings, it is impossible to be fully empathetic, what needs to be spoken out, what grievances to speak out, which will reduce the probability of injury, but also increase the possibility of being satisfied.
There is too much backlog of anger, dissatisfaction, resentment and grievance, and there is no way to vent
In fact, many clients in a depressed state will have anger and dissatisfaction, the consultation process is to let the parties have a space and opportunity to release themselves, some people will cry, and even some people will scream, but when they talk about venting their emotions, people will become relatively relaxed.
Being able to face your feelings authentically and express them authentically is the most direct healing process.
We tend to suppress our inner feelings, needs and emotions for various reasons, afraid of hurting our parents' hearts, afraid of being recognized by others, afraid of being said to be an unfriendly bad person, afraid of being isolated after making our true statements, etc., so we make a lot of behaviors against our hearts.
Just like Mo Yu in "Female Psychologist", he constantly uses flattering behavior to try to get recognition and security, but in the end it backfires, his humility and pandering, not only does not work, there will be no gratitude, but also will make people around him feel that he is a soft persimmon, do not use it, eat and change places without notice, drink after work and sing K information contact, completely when he is transparent, and when there is a job, it is the first time to let him participate in it.
Sometimes, the more you are afraid, the more you will enter into your own panicked relationship. This mode of interaction will not only not get better and better, but will get worse and worse.
When these emotions in people's hearts are suppressed for too long, and they cannot find a way to vent, they will lead to hidden dangers of diseases in their hearts.
It is said that taking a step back from the sea and the sky, and enduring the calm of the wind and waves for a while, but in the real situation, once such an act becomes a habitual attitude towards people in the world, it becomes the end of forbearance, the more you think about it, the more angry you are, and the more you think about it, the more you suffer losses.
Therefore, many people who look optimistic and open-minded and easy-going on the surface are prone to psychological problems, which is the reason, that is, because of the backlog of too many garbage emotions that cannot be excreted, let themselves become depressed, express their true feelings, and are also one of the conditions for inner health.
Ruminant thinking is strong, and I can't let go of the past
What is rumination thinking?
Rumination is a negative state of repetitive thinking about past mistakes and possible consequences.
In layman's terms, it is to constantly recall the words and deeds of the past, and in the process, constantly blame and deny yourself, and be full of fear and worry about the hidden dangers and costs that the unknown may bring.
Although the result is sometimes irrevocable, it is always caught up in an emotional thought of regret.
People with strong ruminant thinking are most likely to suffer from depression.
Because this kind of person will let himself continue to review his memories, analyze and speculate on the unspoken meanings of others, constantly assume, and be full of accusations and denials for himself.
When you are too concerned about gains and losses, and you can't let go of imperfections and faults, you will continue to indulge in negative emotions.
For example, I am a failure, how can I be so stupid to say that sentence (do that thing), it is all because I am not good, I am not worthy of people...
Many things do have their own problems, but if the rumination thinking is too strong to let go of the established facts and past experiences, it is easy to have depression problems.
Strive for perfection, deliberately show strength, and hide your vulnerability and fear
It is good to have standards for yourself, but excessive demand for perfection will form a huge psychological burden.
No one is omnipotent, and when in order to maintain their perfect image, deliberately hiding their fragile fear and helplessness will become a kind of harsh rebuke and torture, but under the seemingly indestructible appearance, the heart is more prone to disease.
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Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.