Chen Weijun, the director of "Shengmen", once said:
"It is said that childbirth is a matter of two people, a matter of husband and wife, but it is not." It is the woman who really faces everything. ”
This is exactly the case, not long ago with Xiaoxi, her baby is 2 years old, lively and cheerful and sunny, is a boy, although after more than a month, I still remember Xiaoxi mentioned the child, full of smiles, and overjoyed expressions, but said a sentence that revealed great sadness: "The child is my salvation." ”
Later, after learning about it, I learned that it was the "post-marital crisis" that really happened to her.
In fact, the post-marital crisis is mostly related to women's pregnancy. Men and women from acquaintance to acquaintance, from acquaintance to love, all the way is the two people support each other. After marriage, it is two families, and both parties need to be separated from one family psychologically, integrated into another family, and then have a baby to form their own small family.
Because all these changes come so quickly, neither man nor woman can quickly integrate into the role, thus revealing the "true temperament". Men will be impatient and considerate of their wives when they are in love; women will have a complaining attitude, and the tenderness of the love period will be gone.
Xiao Xi said: "I don't know why, since I became pregnant, my husband's attitude towards me has become cold, and once made me wonder if there was someone outside him, but this is not the case." ”
The arrival of the child made Xiaoxi's husband unable to accept it, he felt that he was still young, but Xiaoxi's body had no way to not want this child, so her husband did not know how to face it. In fact, this situation is not in the minority, especially the previous hot topic can be seen: during the period of female childbirth, should not let the husband accompany the birth.
This statement has been denied by the medical community, from obstetricians to obstetric nurses, no one agrees with men accompanying the bed, why? The reason is that the general psychological quality of men is very low, and the production environment and the scene situation will cause serious psychological shadows to men, which will eventually lead to the breakdown of marriage.
"Although I know that you had a hard time giving birth, I don't want to remember the scene at that time, and now I feel sick when I see you, and I can't control myself." This is a sentence that the husband who has accompanied the birth has said, in fact, the man said what many men who accompanied the birth had in mind.
How hard it is for women to give birth
My favorite thing when I was a child was to listen to my grandmother talk about my past, and when I grew up, I remembered that my grandmother didn't just say something like this once: "Everyone knows that it is normal for a woman to have a child after marriage, but who knows that the pain caused by the birth of a daughter is only known as a mother." ”
The truth is indeed the case, many people know a truth: "money can make ghosts grind", but even if you have money, it is difficult to avoid the pain caused by production, and it is even possible to face the danger of life.
She combined with Ella to suffer a lot during childbirth. At the beginning of the period, ELLA had intended to give birth in water to reduce the pain, but due to its own reasons, it did not succeed and changed from water to normal delivery. The entire delivery process is recorded.
I once read an article about Ella's birth, and the idea given was heartwarming: Ella childbirth is just a record of something that every mother goes through, not just Ella's own memories, but all the memories of being a mother.
In fact, the problem of "difficulty in childbirth" is only the first level in the production process. The problems caused by the postpartum period are far beyond people's imagination.
In an interview, Ella said she had urinary incontinence for nearly two years after giving birth. All women who become pregnant and have children go through this difficult period.
The physical discomfort and pain may pass by gritting your teeth and enduring it, but the hardship in your heart is unknown. In recent years, China has broadcast relevant reports: the number of newborns in China reaches 15 million per year, but more than 43% of pregnant women suffer from postpartum depression.
Many moms are depressed during childbirth, but this is the most dangerous time. However, at this time, everyone's focus is on the baby, and the novice mother who should be paid attention to is not only ignored, but also needs to take on all the responsibilities of taking care of the baby.
What does a wife need to do from pregnancy to childbirth?
In fact, seeing the dilemma of wifebirth, there are still a few who can "dislike" their wives, and most men, after their wives become pregnant and give birth, can still sympathize with their wives' feelings and take care of their wives.
There is a question written like this: The wife is pregnant, what should the man do?
The content of Gao Zan's answer is basically that his wife is pregnant and resigns to give birth, usually more idle, and he is very busy at work and has no time to take care of his wife, and he wants to know what books to read and understand about pregnancy.
Whether such content is the blogger's sincere words or not, people can't help but like it, and such enlightenment is really rare.
In fact, during a woman's pregnancy to childbirth, including the postpartum stage, it requires the understanding and understanding of husbands. Husbands also have to learn to take care of women's emotions, which is very critical, and a little comfort can bring happiness to pregnant wives.
After giving birth, dads can help their wives share some of the burden, such as cooking, taking care of the children, and so on. Even if you are busy at work, you have to talk to your wife and children when you get home, and daily chatter is also a kind of romance.
If I had to sum up in one sentence, what a husband should do during his wife's childbirth would be:
"You must listen to your daughter-in-law, your opinion can be ignored, just need to shut up, cooperate, take care of, and pay money."