Wen | Cheats Jun
I've written several articles about stay-at-home moms during this time. The messages at the end of the article are not the same, but there are two groups of people who hold opposing opinions, and the difference in opinions is quite large.
A wave of people agree with what I said, when the stay-at-home mother is indeed very depressed and helpless, every day to face a lot of trivial things, patience is used up, emotions are exhausted, the family around you do not understand you.
But another wave of people found it incredible, saying that she was very happy and enjoyed being a stay-at-home mother, and there were not so many negative emotions. Someone even ran backstage and scolded me, saying that I felt depressed as a stay-at-home mother alone, because I did not run a good family, lacked emotional intelligence, and could not represent all.
So the question is, the same is a full-time mother, why do some people deserve to be happy, but some people feel anxious and depressed?
Many people will feel that the anxiety of stay-at-home mothers comes from the family's economic income problems, and if she has money, she can be happy, but it is not the case.
I think the reasons why stay-at-home moms experience differently are mostly the following:
◆ When you first become a stay-at-home mother, do you actively choose or are you forced?
When a friend was pregnant, the mother-in-law said that she would come to help her with the baby when the time came. But after the friend was out of confinement, the mother-in-law said that there were some things in her hometown that needed to be dealt with, and she left in a hurry, and after that, she could not call back. Seeing that the maternity leave was exhausted, the friend had to quit his job and go home to become a full-time mother.
Because she had no expectations in her heart, she was quite repulsive to her new identity, and felt that it was too exhausting to play around the child's and all day, and from time to time she had to call me to complain, and I urged her to correct her mentality, but the results were minimal.
With the expectation of being a full-time mother in advance, when the time comes, it will feel like a natural thing to take the baby by yourself, and if you don't contradict it, your mood will be very good. But if you are forced to be a full-time mother without expectations, it takes a lot of effort to change your mentality, coupled with the effort of taking the baby, the state of the whole person is not easy to adjust.
In fact, not only being a stay-at-home mother, but also in other things, the results of active and passive are always different.
◆ As a woman, is your sense of accomplishment at home or in the workplace?
Being a stay-at-home mother, some people enjoy some people but not because everyone values things differently, and the sense of achievement they get from them is also different.
A woman who focuses on her family will feel that it is her mission to run a happy and happy family, and she will also get a great sense of accomplishment from a harmonious family relationship.
But if a woman prefers to work hard in the workplace, get a sense of accomplishment from solving work problems and completing projects, but is forced to become a full-time wife, she may be tired of the monotony and complexity of day after day. It is even more impossible to get pleasure from it.
◆ After being a stay-at-home mother, how supportive is your family?
It certainly doesn't feel the same to be alone, to fight with a group of people alongside you. In particular, when a person fights alone, the person next to you not only does not understand, but also points out your efforts, and the grievances in your heart will be more.
Stay-at-home moms are a group of people who can easily overlook their "credit." Many people will feel that if you don't just take a baby at home, you can't contribute to the family without earning money, and you only manage the children's food, drink and play every day, which is too idle.
In fact, stay-at-home moms work hard, whoever knows.
If your family supports and recognizes your efforts, you will not be angry at you at the end of work because you have not made dinner, nor will you shout at the scattered toys, "What are you going to do during the day, and you will not clean up", completely ignoring you who have been sick for a day.
Some people support, no matter how tired they are, they will not be so aggrieved, no one supports, and the grievances in their hearts will become lost, disappointed, and then desperate. The mood becomes cold, and naturally it is not happy.
[Topic Discussion: Are you a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, and what is your current status? 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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