I have always felt that Li Ping in "Xiao Min's Family" is a happy and lucky woman.
Although she has been divorced, she is very harmonious with her ex-husband and daughter. Remarried and married a rich man, this man not only loves her, but also treats her daughter as if she were her own daughter, and people have careers and love and children in middle age.
In particular, it is worth mentioning that Li Ping's current husband, Hong Wei, has been married to Li Ping for many years and has always been very good to Chen Jiajia, and in his and Li Ping's words, he cares more about Chen Jiajia than Chen Zhuo, the biological father. The stepfather has achieved such a point, and it can also be called a model of the "stepfather" world.
This has to make us feel Li Ping's luck even more. A woman's divorce, in the eyes of many people, is devalued, even if the conditions of the husband you remarry are not bad, it is difficult for him to have a heart with you, let alone be good to your children. Li Ping found Hong Wei, probably a blessing she had cultivated in her previous life.
Of course, all of the above are the feelings brought to us before Li Ping miscarried.
It is precisely because Hong Wei is such a good man that Li Ping disregards the age of her forty-something mother and wants to health a child for Hong. It was not easy for her to conceive this child, and she had been unstable since she became pregnant, and everyone was eager to hold her in the palm of her hand, and she herself treated the child in her belly as a baby bump.
Still, she miscarried. The direct cause of the miscarriage was that she had an argument with her daughter because of her early love. But in fact, we all know that if she had not been unstable, just getting angry with the child would not have had such serious consequences.
However, in Hong Wei's eyes, this matter had all become Chen Jiajia's fault. At that time, he said these words, which made a special impression on me:
"I tell you, Chen Jiajia, if you don't tell the truth today, none of us should think of this house... She's a child, she's twenty years old and can be held legally responsible... Li Ping, her name is Chen Jiajia, her surname is Chen, her surname is not Hong... Now that the child is gone, who is in pain, not me? ”
In fact, I can especially understand Hong Wei's mood at that time, the child was lost, the most painful of course was the parents, in this case, he blamed Chen Jiajia, it is reasonable. Although objectively speaking, Chen Jiajia does not necessarily need to bear full responsibility, but after all, she is also responsible.
But what am I trying to say? When people are emotionally excited, the words they say are often the closest to their true thoughts. Usually, Hong Wei treated Chen Jiajia like his own daughter, but at this time, he said that her surname was Chen, she was not surnamed Hong, and it was he who was suffering from the child.
What does this mean? In fact, he never regarded Chen Jiajia as his own daughter, all he cared about was the child in Li Ping's belly, and that child was his child.
Is Hong Wei's words wrong? Rationally speaking, there is nothing wrong with that. But emotionally speaking, his words are hurting his wife.
Chen Jiajia is indeed not his daughter, it is true that she is not related to him, but she is Li Ping's daughter, she and the child in her belly are the same for Li Ping, Li Ping does not want any of them to be hurt, but Hong Wei is only thinking about his own child at this time.
And his line "Who suffers, not me?" He said "me," not "we." When a man instinctively thinks that the child belongs only to him, it is unfair to the wife in itself. What's more, this child was still in his wife's belly at that time, would his wife have less pain than him?
We can't deny Hong Wei's love for Li Ping, and if he didn't love Li Ping, he wouldn't have been good to her daughter for so long in the past. But this love of his, after all, can not resist his concern for his own children, he also because Chen Jiajia is Li Ping's child instead of his, and Li Ping has more estrangement.
Hong Wei's blame for Chen Jiajia also exposed the true appearance of the "stepfather".
What does it look like?
No matter how good the stepfather is, he is only the stepfather, and he is good to the child, which is based on the fact that the child does not conflict with his interests. Once there is a conflict of interest, you will see that he not only has an insurmountable boundary with his children, but also with his wife.
If Hong Wei doesn't have children himself, he may always be very good to Chen Jiajia, but if he has children, then Chen Jiajia is different from his children, and this is his truth.
When I say this, I am not denying Hong Wei as a person. Despite all the things that have happened, Hong Wei can still be regarded as a very good "stepfather", and he has indeed done a lot for Chen Jiajia. However, we should not ignore the fact that the stepfather always cares more about his children, and he can never treat everyone equally, which is the true appearance of the "stepfather".
There is nothing to hide, human nature is like this, self-interest is human instinct, we must face the truth, in order to better cope with the various choices in life.
Just like some women, who are slightly unsatisfactory in marriage, think about divorce, and feel that they can find a better one after divorce. You may be able to find a better husband, but your children are unlikely to find a better father. No matter how good a stepdad is to your child, it is better for him to be good to his own child, and you must see this clearly.
There are also many second-married couples in life, each fighting openly for the interests of their children, it is difficult for them to exert the cohesion of marriage, so that husband and wife can work together and live in a better direction. Even if he is lucky like Li Ping, who has met such a good man, once there is a conflict, he is still the first to be self-interested.
So when we walk into a marriage, don't hold the attitude of being able to live and divorce if you can't live, you have to think, do your best to solve various problems and troubles in marriage, but whenever there is a glimmer of possibility, you have to live. Because your next marriage can't do as you wish.
Of course, if your marriage is really broken and can no longer be supported, I will not encourage you to spend your life in it, you have to know how to stop loss, but before that you have to understand that you are trying to be a better version of yourself, not to find a better one after divorce.
Only when you pin your hopes on yourself, rather than on marriage or lovers, can you not be disappointed, not be disappointed, and can you make more rational judgments and choices.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.