Jiang Xun: The essence of love is a kind of wisdom

For me, the fulcrum of life is my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, my friends, my lovers, and passers-by who pass by on the side of the road, just like the North Africans at Amsterdam Airport who call me "Frankfurt" earlier, and they can also be a part of my life.

I live by these pivots, heavy or light – I mean you can't put all your strength on one fulcrum, you yourself will not be able to stand it, the other person will not be able to stand it. We often hear: "I love you alone in this world", which is a beautiful sentence and a terrible sentence. I'm afraid to hear that now, and all I think about is: How terrible! I had to take on such a great responsibility that he seemed to be staring at me twenty-four hours a day, and I could not have any other life.

Such love may exist in our youth, because at that time we still have a lot of arrogant imaginations about love, but when you mature, you will know that this love is dangerous, it will crush a person, and when three thousand pets are only gathered in one, it must be a great tragedy in the end.

I would rather love be evenly shared, the person who loves me, he also has the love of affection, the love of friendship, the love of colleagues, and other things in life that can attract his love, I will be very grateful to these people, these things helped me share his love, not all on me, let me breathe. In the same way, my love also has many fulcrums, not only on one person, and these shared love will not detract from the purity of love, but rather an increase.

Because love is a huge implication. Just like the Buddhists say "karma", it takes five hundred years to cross the river in the same boat, what kind of love is that, how can we not have love for anyone who passes by?

Looking at love from such an angle, I think, can avoid wishful thinking, and demand that love can only be one person, that person.

But this kind of understanding requires a long period of learning, and it takes about many times to go through the difficulties of "I must not be able to pass", and then I will begin to understand that love should be amplified and expanded, not closed to itself.

In fact, in life we can see a lot of forms of love, for example, my student has a girl, she is beautiful, kind, generous, and not married, like this girl of course has a lot of suitors, so her boyfriend is always in a state of uneasiness, as if her position will be replaced by a better boy at any time. Although the girl loved him very much and often comforted him, the boy often came to me and told me that he was really worried.

I asked him, so would you like to choose to love another kind of girl? She may be stupid, ugly, weird, and no one loves her, so you don't have to worry about it at all. He said, "No."

I think that's the love conundrum we often have, and when you give yourself multiple choice questions like this, you can make a judgment.

Of course, it makes no sense for me to use the example of beauty and ugliness as a condition for love, because there is no absolute beauty in the world, and there is no absolute ugliness. A person who is considered "very stupid, very ugly, very strange" must also have his beautiful place, he himself has to find out, and let others find out, if he has no way to find it, give up all the advantages, waste it, and waste it to the end when no one loves him, it is his own problem.

So I would say that the essence of love is a kind of wisdom, especially as you get older. Before you turn twenty you can rely on the youth, health, and youth that God has given you, which are not your own, but given by God. And when you're thirty, forty, fifty, how do you keep your charm? This depends on wisdom.

I know a lot of friends who are more attractive as they get older, and even have a female friend who is still pampered when she's sixty. Therefore, do not think that human life is gradually aging, the opportunity for love will gradually decrease, on the contrary, love and wisdom are growing with age, and love will become more and more full because of wisdom.