I saw a scene of a mother's breakdown on the Internet:
The little girl peed her pants while playing in the playground, and the mother hysterically yelled at the child: "Don't go, just cry here!" ”
After the owner of the playground saw it, she was afraid that the child was sitting on the ground and cold, and wanted to pick up the child, but the mother pushed it away.
At this moment, she was like a crazy lion, out of control to the extreme.
It looks like a sign of depression or bipolar disorder. The child is very pitiful, in public, being "violently" treated by her mother, and her little heart must be full of fear and humiliation.
But in fact, my mother is also very pitiful.
Temporary emotional collapse is the result of the accumulation of bad emotions for a long time.
After her emotions were out of control and angry, her heart must also be full of heartache, remorse and self-blame.
Who loves her child more than a mother?
Behind the mother's emotional loss of control, there is often a lack of love.
01
Mom's collapse, often only in an instant
Which moment doesn't have a crash!
A netizen said that his biggest breakdown was that his child had a fever in the middle of the night every time.
Once, she got up at 5 o'clock in the morning, first asked the company for emergency leave, then took the child to the hospital to see the emergency department, then lined up to get the medicine, took the bus home, and fed the medicine to the child.
After all this, he had to cook and wash his clothes, but the child cried and refused to take the medicine.
At that moment she broke down and couldn't help but cry.
In "Thirty Only", Gu Jia said: "After becoming a mother, the biggest feeling is to hold back, to hold back in a title called mother. ”
It is also true that after becoming a mother, if nothing else, even sleeping a full night is a luxury.
Since having a baby, every night and sleep has been fragmented.
A good friend next to him, Xiao Meng, said that he did not stop getting angry with the child two nights ago.
Her child had been a sleeping scumbag since childhood, and that night the child woke up humming again, and she held the child with her eyes closed for a few minutes, to no avail.
She sat up sleepily and took the child into her arms,
Gently coaxed: "Mom is here, Mom is here." ”
Still useless.
She asked the child, "Baby, where are you uncomfortable with your mother?" ”
The child is still crying and whining...
Listening to the piercing cries of his son in his ears, and listening to the husband's purring in the next room,
She suddenly broke down, holding the child's arm,
She couldn't help but shout, "Cry, cry, cry, you know crying, can you let me sleep well!" ”
The child cried even harder.
She realized that she had scared the child, and while regretting herself, she cried with the child in her arms.
Mom's collapse is often in an instant. But behind this moment, there is a lot of heartache that is not understood, how much patience and repression are hidden.
If you look closely, you will find that most of the mothers who are prone to emotional loss of control are alone.
Behind their emotional breakdown, there is no one to care about and understand, no one to help and share.
02
The most devastating thing is psychological despair
What really makes mothers collapse is not only physical fatigue, but also sadness that no one understands, anxiety that has nowhere to rest, and psychological despair.
Just like my friend Xiaomeng said earlier, she arrives home at 9 o'clock every day after work, and after she hastily washes herself, she has to bathe her children, brush her teeth, change her pajamas, tell stories, and sleep...
The child does not honestly listen to instructions, he will cry and cry, one moment arguing to see Ultraman, the next he refuses to change his clothes.
When this series of operations came down, it was almost 11 o'clock, and Xiaomeng still had to get up to wash clothes, and sometimes open the computer for overtime.
It was 12:30 when she went to bed that night, and within half an hour of sleeping, the child was crying again.
Full of exhaustion, coupled with the grievances of no one to help, her emotions suddenly lost control and made the child cry.
What broke her most was that the next day her husband asked her why she "ranted" at the child in the middle of the night.
Since having children, her husband has moved to another room to sleep, and every difficult night is supported by herself.
Her husband did not come to her to help when she needed it, but he complained and accused her afterwards, which made her heart angry and depressed.
While crying, she replied to her husband:
Fortunately, her husband finally understood her.
This is true for working mothers, and the days of full-time mothers are not easy.
Just cleaning up the housework and spending time preparing three meals a day for children can make them spend a day's energy.
24 hours a day, there are not many moments when moms can really relax and rest.
The boring repetition day after day, year after year, makes mothers feel like they are in a bottomless abyss.
Without the understanding and help of their families, they will always struggle on the verge of emotional collapse.
03
Behind the emotional loss of control, there is an absent father
In the Japanese drama "Home on the Slope", there is a case of child abuse in which a mother named Mizuho drowned her eight-month-old child in a bathtub.
This mother is indeed unforgivable.
She coaxed her daughter to cry, abused her because her daughter was not up to standard, and even killed her with her own hands.
But when you dig deeper, you will find that she is not the only one who killed the child.
Mizuho is a strong woman, and in order to become a full-time mother for her family, she faces all kinds of hardships with a baby alone.
The mother-in-law did not help, but often pointed fingers and feet, and embarrassed her everywhere.
Seeing that the child is small, he blames her for not having enough milk;
Seeing the child crying incessantly, she complained that she did not know how to take the child;
Worried that his son would not sleep well by the crying child, he let his son go to the hotel to sleep.
What about Mizuho's husband?
The responsibilities and obligations of being husband and father are not fulfilled at all.
He often uses busy work as an excuse to go home late, and when he comes home, he falls asleep;
On the pretext of consulting "parenting issues", he had an affair with his girlfriend from college.
Physical tiredness, coupled with mental oppression, Mizuho unconsciously suffered from postpartum depression.
Another time the child was crying, she wanted to bathe the child to soothe, the moment she put the child in the bathtub,
Her mind went blank and, in a trance, she accidentally killed her own child.
If the people around her had discovered earlier that her spirit was not right,
If someone helps her with the baby,
If the husband can give her understanding and encouragement,
Tragedy may not happen.
Children are not their mothers alone, and behind those mothers who are out of control, there is often an absent father. In August this year, a mother in Pingdingshan, Henan Province, stood on the air conditioner outside the window sill, ready to jump off the building.
Only 24 years old, she is already a mother of two children, she said that she did not want to have a second child,
It was the family who asked her to be born, and when she was really born, no one cared.
Desperate and helpless, she wanted to die.
After being rescued, her husband knelt down on the spot and confessed her mistake, but she no longer believed her husband's words.
She said emotionally: I just want to get a divorce, and I will take two children with me!
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: This era is unfair to women, it pushes women to the world stage, but forgets to drag men back to the family. Raising children is not the responsibility of the mother alone, it requires the concerted efforts of husband and wife, and the family needs to pay together.
04
Who on earth crushed Mom?
When a mother meets an inattentive child, a husband who loves to be a "hand-throwing treasurer", and a picky in-law, it is easy to have a mental breakdown if you are not careful.
It's not right for moms to treat their children roughly, but I believe there is no mom who doesn't regret it afterwards.
They will shed tears of self-blame, will hide in the bathroom and secretly slap themselves, and will hate themselves in their hearts to vent their anger on their children.
There is no mother who does not want to be gentle and gentle, and the years are quiet.
However, before this, please ask the people around you to be gentle with them first.