I often have conflicts with my wife because of the education of children, and I have a very unpleasant quarrel.
The wife believes that when treating children, be kind and don't give a good face. The depth of love is the responsibility.
Therefore, the wife treats her son, scolds with her mouth open, and hits her with her hand.
After the mid-term exam, the wife scolded her son: "Others can get full marks, why did you only take the exam for ninety points?" ”
If the son has a problem that he can't do, his wife will also scold him: "Such a simple problem will not be." ”
Regardless of her son's studies or life affairs, the wife treats her son with an attitude: all bad reviews, all scolding.
My wife thinks that I am too doting on children, the reason is that I rarely give my son a bad face, I have not established an absolute hegemonic position in front of my children, and my children are not afraid of me.
My wife thinks that I should not communicate with my son calmly, no matter how big or small, but to establish absolute authority in front of my children.
However, my son likes me and is very harmonious with me, and has something to say to me, and has problems to discuss with me. In the treatment of his mother, the son often "disobeyed" and even resisted.
The wife blamed me for instigating the spoiling of her son.
My wife thinks her education is the right one, and I think my way of educating is the most ideal.
In this way, our family is often in a state of war for three countries.
So, what kind of family education is good family education?
The answer of Dou Guimei, principal of Tsinghua Affiliated Primary School, is: The best family education is to put sugar first, then put salt, and then add calcium.
The ideal family education is to put sugar first.
That is to give children love and encouragement, and communicate with children on an equal footing. The philosopher James said: "The most ardent requirement of human nature is the desire to be affirmed." ”
This is true of us adults, and small children are no exception.
If I have more respect and recognition for my child, he will be very enthusiastic when he does things, his thinking will be active, and he will do things efficiently and well.
On the contrary, if I were to be angry one day, my son would be trembling, his thinking would be sluggish, and he would not know how to do things.
Even if you criticize and punish, it is not a good idea to add up evil words and sticks.
"If you don't learn, you will lose your machine."
In the face of the disobedient and school-weary Mencius, Meng Mu did not preach emptyly, did not criticize fiercely, did not punish willfully, but followed the good temptations and was meticulous. Finally, Mencius woke up, read hard, and became a great man throughout the ages.
The reason seems to be very simple, but not everyone is willing to do it, let alone some people do not approve.
On the Internet, I can always see people saying things like "happy education ruins children".
To this day, there are still people who firmly believe that "talents come out from under the sticks".
Not only some parents, but also some teachers do the same, do not give students a good face, educate students to say one or the other, do not ask questions, and reprimand and punish them all.
Rebuke and punishment can also be seen as salt in education.
Education needs criticism and punishment, and it needs such salt. However, I still agree with President Dou Guimei's point of view: put sugar first, then put salt. Put more sugar and less salt.
Put sugar first, give more sugar, give the child respect, love and encouragement, the child will become optimistic, confident and positive.
Then put salt, the right amount of salt, give the child setbacks, difficulties and tribulations, the child can face the setbacks, tough and strong.
A word of family, do not like to spray, welcome to comment, welcome to pay attention.
(Image from the Internet, infringing deletion)