I've seen a book called "Not Every Story Has an Ending." Because of this name, the bookstore bought it home. When I looked over, I saw a sentence like this:
"Most of the greatest pain in life comes from the fact that ability is not worthy of ambition, and oneself is not worthy of desire."
Born as a human being, pain is inevitable. In the face of pain, it is always difficult for us to truly understand its meaning, but we only think that it hurts our weakest hearts. Therefore, many people, immersed in the deep sea of pain, unable to extricate themselves, once lived themselves into the most embarrassing appearance.
Before Qi Qi entered the marriage, she met a person who thought that she was the love of this life, and knew that the other party was a person with a family, but she was still trapped. At the beginning of the relationship, she said to her friend: "I will not disturb his family, nor do I care if he can be with me, I just want this relationship to have no regrets in this life." ”
After the friend listened, she strongly discouraged it and told Qiqi that this relationship would definitely end in vain, and the person who was hurt in the end was herself. But Qi Qi was still obsessed with the man and quietly fell in love. The man said to her that she was gentle and understanding of him, unlike the man in the family, who always cared only for the children every day and completely ignored him.
Qi Qi, who was immersed in sweet love, believed that it was true, and also naively thought that after this world, he knew this man best, and slowly asked for more and more. The things that did not affect his family had long been forgotten, and I wanted to be with this man and marry him. So he was always questioned when he would get divorced.
Until one day, the man suddenly disappeared, the phone could no longer be dialed, quietly went downstairs to the man's house to wait for him to disappear, went to the company to find him, and had resigned, all the news was nothing, Qi Qi understood that he was really leaving.
The betrayal between lovers is the most painful hurt in a relationship, and Qi Qi can't understand that the man who once said that he was the most sensible and gentle would suddenly leave one day. She soaked in the bar all day, drunk as mud every day, not willing to let all the feelings she gave be abandoned, and the pain was indescribable every day.
Qi Qi did not understand the person who made her very painful, in fact, it was her own choice that made the pain painful, if she had given up this feeling that knew that there was no result in the pain at that time, she would not have such a painful self now.
In fact, most of the pain in life is not caused by others, but you can't live with yourself.
I have read a passage on the Internet, and it is particularly well said, "Everyone will be attacked by two arrows, the first arrow is shot at you by the outside world, it is the setbacks and difficulties we often encounter; the second arrow is shot at ourselves, it is the negative emotions caused by setbacks and difficulties." And the first arrow didn't hurt us much, it was just an external wound. The second arrow will go deep into our hearts and cause us internal injuries, and the more we struggle, the more we try to get rid of it, the deeper the arrow will sink in our hearts. ”
Just as Qi Qi's pain is that she can't live with herself, the root of her pain is nothing more than torturing herself and not giving up her obsession.
Many people in life are like this, obsessed with one thing, always thinking about why they have paid so much, and others do not meet your requirements and do not accept you. In fact, what we love is our own efforts, or ourselves projected on others. It's a manifestation of human selfishness, and while it's hard for us to accept, it's the truth.
Only when we recognize this clearly will we understand that the person who torments us is not others, but ourselves. For example, we usually encounter small things, who say a bad word to us, we will certainly be afraid to go back; whoever denies it, they will be angry and want to do something with the other party; when they are looked down upon, they will argue on the basis of reason, and they will have to change their opinions before they are willing to give up.
When the other party fails to meet our requirements, we will be bitter and resentful. In fact, these are our own tortures, because we are unwilling to admit that we pay or defend ourselves in this way can not change the other party's intentions, and forget that we still have the right to choose. We don't have to choose an option that makes us miserable, so why not think about it from a different angle, make another choice, but insist on stubbornly clinging to it?
The famous fashion designer Yohji Yamamoto said that "myself" is something that cannot be seen, and when you hit something else and bounce back, you will understand yourself.
When faced with pain, we will think that the pain we bump into is called the indifference of human nature, in fact, after hitting the wall and planting the head, we will understand that it is just torturing ourselves.
In the world, there are not so many things that are inevitable because of chance, and the plot is in man, the success is in heaven, and the thing is man-made! The storm that accompanies us will always come without warning, but it is also the most important part of our lives, face it, do not try to change it, because it makes us braver and fearlesser.