The wind rises and blows a pool of spring water.
The incident of female students taking headphones by mistake at East China University of Science and Technology has intensified, because the female students have not been punished, especially the qualifications of the research institute have not been affected, which has aroused many people's doubts.
Online exposure, gender confrontation has once again become a hot topic of discussion, and some lawyers have participated, believing that the girl's behavior has been suspected of violating the law...
The process is also very simple, when the girl eats in the canteen, she occupies a seat with a book, and the boy occupies the seat next to her with headphones and a charging cable.
When the girl returned, she thought she occupied two seats and took away the boy's headphones and charging cable.
Girls complained on the school confession wall that boys occupied seats, they mistakenly took away the boys' charging cables, and the boys snatched the girls' seats, humiliating the Huali boys.
The boy explained the occupancy and said his headphones were missing and had reported it to the school security office.
Later, the girl explained that she did not find out at the beginning that she had mistakenly taken the boy's headphones, and when she found it, it had been washed and damaged, and she could bear the liability for compensation.
As soon as the matter was exposed, the school did not take measures, nor did it affect the girls' qualifications for research, which caused an uproar...
Some lawyers asserted that the girl's behavior may involve violating the law, and also provided the standards for filing a theft case in Shanghai to support it, which scared me to quickly block all this information.
I venture to guess that from the perspective of subjective intentions, the girl should not have the idea of theft or think that taking away the headphones of her classmates is considered theft.
More specifically, this girl may have the idea of taking away the headphones (or not, I dare not subjectively conclude), but she should not be motivated by the theft of property, most likely in the purpose of venting dissatisfaction...
So the question is, must catharsis have to be related to illegal behavior? Obviously not, only the immature way of venting is likely to involve illegal acts.
In the "Qianlong Cabbage" incident of Tianjin Television Station, the male host could not face the doubts of the female host and slammed the door, which was a manifestation of immature emotional processing.
The incident that Tsinghua Xuejie almost let her "die in the society" because of the unwarranted "touching the buttocks" incident is also a manifestation of mental immaturity.
Therefore, mental maturity is not necessarily related to age and IQ, and is more likely to be related to "emotional intelligence". Manifestations of mental immaturity are mainly in the following aspects:
Good at looking at problems with an idealized and absolute attitude, and sometimes showing a dualistic tendency of "black and white".
The usual way of evaluation is "good" and "bad". A seat-occupying behavior can label people as facialized and be good at judging others.
Sometimes I can't listen to the persuasion of others, treat the persuader as my own opposite, miss the real friendship, and harvest a bunch of fake "friends" that are happy to meet.
If the economic conditions are not bad, it is easier to form a superficial community of interests, once the wind blows, these friends may run faster than the rabbit, specifically see the small group composed of some female stars, usually a variety of sisterly feelings, once someone overturns, the drama of cutting the robe is also staged in a timely manner.
Can't take care of other people's feelings, think for yourself, and your own things are smaller than other people's top priorities.
Sometimes there is no need to verify the authenticity of things and rush to take measures in order to vent their inner emotions.
When venting their inner emotions, they will do whatever it takes, take illegal measures under the domination of emotions, or seriously hurt others and dress themselves as victims.
Aunt Qiong Yao's TV series "A Curtain of Dreams" has this potential: "What you lose is only a leg, and what Zi Ling loses is love!" ”
They will exaggerate the mistakes of others, reduce their own responsibilities, or simply avoid talking about it. Even if it brings great harm to others, it may cling to the mistakes of others and refuse to tolerate others.
The speed of finding excuses for yourself is super fast, and it is even more difficult to find reasons for others, even if the facts are in front of you, you may not admit mistakes or downplay them.
Tsinghua Xuejie almost made the student a "social death", and only issued a painless statement, not even a formal apology.
In her consciousness, touching her is unforgivable, so it is necessary for someone to "die in society", and the trouble caused by her own creation is just "misunderstanding"...
It is easy to be swayed by emotions, to lose reason under the domination of emotions, and if coupled with the disregard for laws and rules, it is easy to produce excessive consequences and produce consequences that are difficult to control.
The male host of "Qianlong Cabbage" was emotionally controlled at that moment, and the act of slamming the door out was on the hot search, affecting his career.
East China Polytechnic girl because of the anger of the placeholder, took away the boy's headphones, did not get punished, but also attracted everyone's attention, perhaps under the fermentation of public opinion, her graduate qualifications will be affected.
If it really happens, it's too late to regret it.
Under the domination of emotions, it is difficult to accept criticism and it is difficult to be self-aware. There is also a tendency to exogenous attribution afterwards, attributing the cause to others, the environment, and so on.
The East China Polytechnic girls' statement said that they took the headphones by mistake, and when they washed their clothes, they found that this reason is indeed a bit far-fetched.
To cultivate a mature child, you need to do the following:
Teaching children to cope independently rather than doing things instead of doing things can make children develop independent habits: independent behavior, independent consciousness, and independent values.
Children with independent qualities do not mean to complete everything by themselves, but have the potential to divide labor and cooperate, not only to complete their own things independently, with independent values, but also with the potential to cooperate with others.
Children who grow up in this environment have a greater sense of responsibility and responsibility, can feel the pleasure of collective cooperation, and are naturally willing to attach themselves to the group, and can learn from each other's strengths in the group and improve their mental level.
Understanding, respect, tolerance, self-confidence and non-evaluation in the family atmosphere can fully mobilize the child's nature and allow the child to thrive in a free and relaxed environment.
Children will also unconsciously copy the growth environment into their interpersonal relationships, and when they encounter problems, they can also draw strength from it, find ways to deal with them positively.
A child who is not easily evaluated or labeled will naturally not easily evaluate others or label others in his own small circle.
Homeschooling does not advocate raising perfect children, but to see a perfect child. Whether it is the child's learning, quality, ability, or values, they all deserve to be appreciated.
A child who is admired in all aspects usually does not use generalizations or black and white in interpersonal interactions. They can always find the shining point behind the shortcomings of others, and then respect everything about others.
A boy in his first year of high school saw that two particularly good-achieving boys in the dormitory had a bad habit of saying bad things behind their backs, so he decided that the two boys were not good students.
Although the two boys have shortcomings, they are recognized by most of the classmates, because they have a bad relationship with the two boys, and he himself is isolated by the class.
After talking to the counselor, the boy discovered his neglected experiences since childhood, and instead began to look for the strengths of the two boys, and became good friends with them, and was no longer isolated by the class.
Some parents are reluctant to let their children play with their peers, fear that their children will be bullied, and either play with older children (the older children are sensible) or play with younger children (who can't beat their own children).
In fact, peer play is the most effective way for children to mature mentally quickly. Different children play different roles in the game, which can not only shape the child's personality, but also help the child quickly adapt to the relationship with others.
Dealing with children's contradictions is an art, neither can we let go of the child to develop into an "air bag", nor can we shape the child into a "dumb bully" in the group, and we must guide the child to solve the problem by himself. This is the key to nurturing children's mental maturity.
Two parents of a primary school in Shanghai have a conflict with their children, and they have made an appointment at the school gate, and the children who have already been reconciled have to turn against each other again, and this parent really came to "strength pit baby", right?
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