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November 19, 1931.
The 34-year-old Xu Zhimo, despite the persuasion of his friends, with disappointment and anger in his marriage, boarded a postal plane from Nanjing to Beiping; he did not think that the plane suddenly encountered foggy weather in Jinan and eventually crashed into a mountain.
The raging fire burned everything into ashes in the hazy fog; none of the crew, including Xu Zhimo, survived.
The amorous and romantic poet suddenly left.
Perhaps at the last moment, he regarded love as life, and he was still thinking: Is the marriage with Lu Xiaoman worth it?
Once upon a time, in order to pursue the love of Kangqiao with Lin Huiyin, he insisted on divorcing his wife Zhang Youyi, who had just given birth; in order to marry Lu Xiaoman, a wife with a husband, he did not hesitate to break with the entire Xu family...
His persistent pursuit of love also closely links the fates of three strange women.
Whether it is Zhang Youyi and Lin Huiyin, or Zhang Youyi and Lu Xiaoman, they are the most familiar strangers, but because of Xu Zhimo's chaos, they have abandoned, so that these women who have no intersection have since had a debt of constant cutting and chaos.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > [Zhang Youyi: Was forced by Xu Zhimo to beat the fetus, and then personally came forward to collect the body for Xu].</h1>
The intersection of Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo stems from a photograph.
It was 1913, and 13-year-old Zhang Youyi had just returned home from school when she was called into the living room by her parents and solemnly handed her a small silver photo box.
In the photo in the box, there is a Sven-looking man; he is thin and wears a pair of round-rimmed gold-rimmed glasses, revealing romance and uninhibited in elegance.
Zhang Youyi knows that this is the future husband chosen by her parents for her; she has received a traditional education since childhood, and with the girl's yearning for love, she shyly accepted the arrangement of "the order of her parents and the words of the matchmaker".
Later, Zhang Youyi learned that the other party's name was Xu Zhimo, who was born in the Xu family, the richest man in Haining, and was already a new school poet who had emerged in the Republic of China.
Xu Zhimo's family is well-off, and Zhang Youyi is a family of scholars.
Her grandfather was a former Qingzhi County, her father Zhang Runzhi was a scholar, and later practiced medicine for a living; 12 brothers and sisters, all of whom have achievements; of which the second brother Zhang Junjie is the "father of the Constitution of the Republic of China", and the fourth brother Zhang Jiaxuan served as the Minister of Transportation and the Minister of Railways of the Republic of China, and was known as the "Father of Modern Banking in China".
She thought it was a beautiful karma, but after getting married, she found that her thinking husband was only a burden.
After getting married and having children, Xu Zhimo chose to fly to england to study; Zhang Youyi was worried that her husband would not take care of herself, so she flew alone to take care of her. Although Xu Zhimo was disgusted, he still made her pregnant.
After encountering Lin Huiyin, he ignored Zhang Youyi's pregnancy and persuaded her to beat the child and let herself go free; later Zhang Youyi couldn't bear it, ran to Germany to give birth to the child, and before his body could fully recover his strength, Xu Zhimo chased him to the capital Berlin, just to let Zhang Youyi sign a divorce agreement.
Xu Zhimo said: "Marriage without love cannot bear it, and freedom pays back freedom." "
He did not look at his infant son Peter, only holding the divorce agreement in his hand, constantly urging: If you do not divorce again, Huiyin will return to China.
At that moment, Zhang Youyi felt a fierce despair; she did not struggle and resist, and signed her name on the divorce agreement.
If marriage is destined to scarred you, why not let yourself get a new lease of life?
As the first woman in China to be "divorced" with great fanfare, Zhang Youyi was humiliated and painful; but she was taught from a young age to learn self-love and self-improvement.
After thinking about the pain, Zhang Youyi also lived out a new self.
She desperately studied and learned to get rid of the rustic image; even though she experienced the blow of Peter's early death in the middle, Zhang Youyi never gave up.
After returning from Germany, Zhang Youyi, who had achieved success, was directly appointed vice president of Shanghai Women's Commercial Bank, which was a serious loss at that time; but Zhang Youyi used her family connections and excellent financial risk management capabilities to make the bank quickly turn a profit.
Her legendary life has also officially begun.
In contrast, at this time, Xu Zhimo, the goddess of passionate infatuation, Lin Huiyin, returned to China to marry Liang Sicheng after bidding farewell in Britain; he suffered from the pain of lost love, and later he was criticized by the world for marrying lu Xiaoman, the wife of his friend.
I thought that the two would not owe each other from now on, but I had no choice but to tease the world the most.
In 1931, Xu Zhimo flew from Nanjing to Beiping in a postal plane, but unfortunately died in a crash.
After the bad news came, Lu Xiaoman cried to death, but refused to go and claim the body.
The staff had to find Zhang Youyi and hoped to go to the accident site to deal with it.
It is reasonable to say: Lu Xiaoman refused to go, and could only go by Zhang Youyi, the daughter of the Xu family.
However, in order to preserve the last dignity for Lu Xiaoman, Zhang Youyi still did not come forward in person.
She called her eighth brother and hoped that he would take 13-year-old Ah Huan to claim it.
In this way, Ah Huan appeared as Xu Zhimo's eldest son, which would not embarrass Lu Xiaoman.
It is worth noting that when the Zhang family's parents died that year, Xu Zhimo, who had been his son-in-law, did not attend any of the funeral ceremonies.
Zhang Youyi was extremely sad, and she complained to Xu Zhimo: "I don't expect him to be present for my love, but I hope he can show his face on the face of my many brothers." ”
Feng Shui takes turns, always with great irony.
Xu Zhimo could have imagined that after he died in the plane crash, it was the children of the Zhang family who were doubly bored and gave him the last decency.
The later funeral was also presided over by Zhang Youyi.
Not only did she not complain, but she also inscribed a drawing:
"Thousands of miles flew fast, and the clouds were lost." As soon as the crane turned, I took pity on the weak and went to summon the soul. ”
In contrast, Lu Xiaoman's behavior: when she learned that her husband Xu Zhimo was killed, she cried darkly at home, but refused to admit the truth; when she learned that Xu Zhimo was dressed in Chinese clothes when he was buried, she pursued Western romance, and she had to let everyone change into suits and dresses...
People had no choice but to ask Zhang Youyi; under Zhang Youyi's strong denial, Lu Xiaoman did not make any more trouble.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="126" > [After Xu Zhimo's death: Lu Xiaoman was poor and destitute, Zhang Youyi received 300 yuan a month for living expenses].</h1>
Just as Xu Zhimo did not expect that the person who held a decent funeral for himself was the original wife who had made him extremely disliked; he did not dare to think: after his death, it was zhang Youyi who provided Lu Xiaoman's living expenses for a long time.
In fact, carefully calculated, Zhang Youyi has been providing for the couple for many years.
Since Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi divorced, Zhang Youyi's career has flourished, and the support has not stopped. After Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman got married, the Xu family's parents, who were already not optimistic about this marriage, were even more difficult to accept after seeing Lu Xiaoman's profligate lifestyle.
Later, because of lu Xiaoman's habit of smoking big cigarettes, he repeatedly confronted the Xu family's parents.
Xu Shenru, as a father, once sternly informed Xu Zhimo:
"I've decided not to talk to your wife anymore, so if she doesn't pay attention to me, why should I find a way to treat her well?"
As a result, the two old men suspended the large amount of financial support for Xu Zhimo, but aizi's heartfelt instinct made them still retain the living allowance of three hundred yuan per month.
The living expenses of these three hundred yuan are equivalent to the income of ordinary people for more than a year; but for Lu Xiaoman, who is profligate, this subsidy is simply a drop in the bucket.
Because they had offended their parents, the two had to return to Shanghai; but because of the loss of their father's large amount of financial assistance, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman, a newlywed couple, had to settle in a dilapidated hotel first.
I don't know how Xu Zhimo felt at this time, but it didn't take long for him to write a letter to his ex-wife with mixed feelings and purposes:
"Our life in Shanghai is unspeakable, the first is that Mantong's mother fell ill after the trip, and to this day I have not seen any better, I am also bored, trapped in the inn, what life can be said?"
I dare not speculate whether Xu Zhimo's letter of grievance had the purpose of borrowing money from his ex-wife; but after receiving this letter, Zhang Youyi did send enough decent living expenses to the couple who were in financial difficulty.
Xu Zhimo's letter also became the beginning of Zhang Youyi's sending money to the two.
Since then, until Xu Zhimo's death, Zhang Youyi has been receiving Xu Zhimo, in order not to embarrass Xu Zhimo, who is often in financial difficulties after marrying Lu Xiaoman, Zhang Youyi often sends money in the name of Xu Zhimo's father.
After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman, who has always been generous, once again fell into difficulties in his life.
Fortunately, Xu's father did not cut off his monthly living allowance of three hundred yuan because of his son's death.
As in previous years, he still deposited this money in Lu Xiaoman's bank account; even if he later learned that Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu were living together, he chose to turn a blind eye, perhaps his move was also to reassure Xu Zhimo, who had a spirit in heaven.
In 1944, Zhang Youyi also began to receive Lu Xiaoman, calling three hundred yuan a month into the bank account of the other party.
Of course, the nature of Zhang Youyi's approach is different from Xu's father.
Xu's father's long-term assistance was to make Xu Zhimo, who died early, feel at ease; while Zhang Youyi's assistance was for his son Ah Huan.
She felt: No matter what, Lu Xiaoman is Ah Huan's stepmother; sending money to Lu Xiaoman is also doing his duty for his son.
Even if his son Ah Huan had never met this stepmother, he had never called her.
In this way, Zhang Youyi did her best to provide Lu Xiaoman with normal living expenses, and this relationship lasted for a total of four or five years, until she left the mainland and was forced to break it.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="127" > [Lin Hui was seriously ill: strongly requested to see Zhang Youyi, 18 words from the heart, Zhang Youyi's life unforgettable].</h1>
After Xu Zhimo's death, Zhang Youyi and Lu Xiaoman intersected because of the relationship of support, and Lin Huiyin, who was also loved by Xu Zhimo, was full of indebtedness to Zhang Youyi.
In 1947, the 16th year of Xu Zhimo's death.
This year, Lin Huiyin, who was seriously ill and hospitalized, felt that he would soon die, so he asked someone to send a message to Zhang Youyi, hoping to meet him.
At that time, Zhang Youyi happened to be attending a friend's wedding in Beijing; she was a little surprised and a little surprised to hear that Lin Huiyin wanted to see her.
After all, although the two have participated in Xu Zhimo's life, they have never intersected.
She thought about it for a long time, and some of them didn't want to go, but finally she went and took her son and grandson with her.
In fact, she also wanted to see what kind of charm the talented girl who once asked Xu Zhimo to abandon his wife and son to follow.
This kind of thinking is only out of the curiosity of the woman's nature, and it is not mixed with any grudges and emotions.
On the way to the hospital, Zhang Youyi fantasized about the scene of the two talking countless times.
But when she really saw Li Huiyin, she was a little sad: because at this time, Lin Huiyin was already in a serious state of illness, and she didn't even have the strength to get up and speak.
Later, in Zhang Youyi's autobiography, she specifically recalled this scene:
When we met, she was so weak that she couldn't say anything, but just looked at us, and her head turned to this side and then to that side. She also looked at me carefully, and I didn't know what she wanted to see. Maybe I'm ugly and can't laugh...
At that time, the atmosphere was a little awkward, and everyone was silent; when Zhang Youyi thought of the topic to break the deadlock, the weak Lin Huiyin tried to hold Zhang Youyi's hand and said intermittently: "Finally got to see, Youyi, I owe you sorry, but I don't regret it." ”
For Lin Huiyin's words, Zhang Youyi had mixed feelings and some unspeakable confusion.
She once said: "I think the reason why she wanted to see me in the first place was because she loved Xu Zhimo and wanted to see his children." Although she was married to Liang Sicheng, she still loved Xu Zhimo. But if she loves Xu Zhimo, why does she let him dangle around after his divorce? Is that love? ”
What is love? For Xu Zhimo, it is the persistent obsession of abandoning his wife and abandoning his son; for Lin Huiyin, it is the nostalgia of things and people, and for Zhang Youyi, it is the tolerance and relief after letting go of the past.
In this love game, they all love in their own way, so that they are free, hurt, and regrets...
But even if it is the red dust past that is involved in everything, those that cannot be put down and cannot be put down are gradually dimmed and annihilated in time with the departure of the party Xu Zhimo.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="128" > [After Zhang Youyi's death, only 4 characters remained on the tombstone, but it became a ruthless mockery of Xu Zhimo].</h1>
Since divorcing Xu Zhimo in 1922, Zhang Youyi has worked alone for many years and has also been alone for many years.
Until 1953, when she was recuperating in Hong Kong, she met Su Jizhi, a doctor who was posted on the Sven style, and the two had a good feeling.
At this time, Zhang Youyi has long passed the age of looking forward to beautiful love, but Su Jizhi's care for her has made her long for a stable home.
In the face of Su Jizhi's marriage proposal, although Zhang Youyi was moved, she still wrote to her son Xu Jikai in the United States to hear his opinion.
Huan'er had already grown up and started a family, and he immediately replied after receiving the family letter:
"Mother and widow have lived and kept the festival for more than thirty years, giving birth to me and nurturing me, and bowing me to nurture me. The life of the mother, the little joy, the mother's duty has been exhausted, the mother's heart should be comforted, who comforts the mother's family? Who accompanies the mother? If the mother is a man, the son asks the father to do things. ”
Zhang Youyi, who read the letter, was deeply moved, she was pleased with her son's understanding and support, and she was also glad that she had met love in her later years.
After the two got married, some of them made the younger generation envious of Qinser and Ming.
Dr. Su will quit many years of alcohol addiction because of Zhang Youyi's words; Zhang Youyi also loves and cares for Dr. Su's children from the bottom of his heart; the two people, like young and passionate lovers, hand in hand to go to the white-haired old age, until a long time later, Su Jizhi died.
Many years later, niece Zhang Bangmei visited Zhang Youyi, who lived alone, and the two talked about the past, and niece Zhang Bangmei asked curiously: "Have you ever loved Xu Zhimo?" ”
Zhang Youyi paused for a long time before slowly opening her mouth:
"You know, I can't answer that question. I was confused by this question, because everyone always told me that I had done so much for Xu Zhimo, and I must have loved him. However, I can't say anything about love, and I haven't said 'I love you' to anyone. If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family can be called 'love', then I probably love him. Of the few women he's met in his life, maybe I love him the most. ”
Once involved in the world, whenever I read this passage, I felt zhang Youyi's infatuation and nostalgia for her attachment to hopeless love; but later, after truly experiencing love and reconciling with the experience of many things that backfired, I gradually understood:
There are too many forms of love in this world to be summed up in the love of men and women.
For Zhang Youyi: she was once the daughter-in-law of the Xu family, the dry daughter of the Xu family's parents, and the mother of Xu Jikai, the grandson of Xu's parents, and these destined fates will never change with the end of the relationship with Xu Zhimo.
Her handling of Xu Zhimo's affairs and her help to her widow Lu Xiaoman are more because of her love for the Xu family, and this love has long been irrelevant to the love between men and women.
In 1988, Zhang Youyi died peacefully in the United States at the age of 88
It is worth mentioning that the words on her tombstone also truly interpret the love of her heart.
At the last moment of her life, she asked her children to engrave the words "Su Zhang Youyi" on her tombstone.
Many people can't understand the meaning of this decision, but if they really read Zhang Youyi's life, they can appreciate the weight of the word "Su".
Throughout her long life, she has always been trapped in the identity of Xu Zhimo's ex-wife, allowing the world to speculate.
But few people know: in her later years, she also met her own love, that is, a man surnamed Su who always treated her considerately; she and Xu Zhimo had only been hand in hand for five or six years, but they had known Su Jizhi for more than 20 years.
For Zhang Youyi: the most beautiful and warm time in her life was also spent hand in hand with Su Jizhi.
Su Zhang Youyi, this is the best summary of Zhang Youyi's life, but also the most ruthless ridicule of Xu Zhimo.
She did not belong to the Xu family for a long time, but because the Xu family had an inexhaustible heart; and the source of all this was the amorous poet who sacrificed himself to chase love but lost to reality.
What red dust obsession, what warm love, even if it is fierce and brilliant like fireworks, but it can not withstand the plainness of the long stream of fine water.
Even if trapped in the triviality of chai rice oil and salt, two people who love each other know how to find some romance and emotion from it, which is the best love!