The mother said to go and left.
3 days ago, when she was still awake, she told her eldest sister and second sister who served her that if she was going to "go", please avoid the time from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., and if there was an "emergency" during this time, she would pad the back of her head with an "almanac" so that she could "stand up". Subsequently, she solemnly handed over to the eldest sister and the second sister a "calendar book" that had been drawn by the fortune teller, saying that "avoiding those two hours is good for future generations." However, the mother did not use the "almanac".
At 10:25 a.m. on August 5, 2006, half an hour before 11 a.m., in Luojia Village, Dong'an County, Hunan Province, my mother used the last bit of strength to shrug her shoulders, spread her hands, and stopped breathing. Our 9 brothers and sisters, together with our wives, husbands, and their children gathered around our mother's bed and saw the greatest, most selfless, most peaceful and most beautiful end of life in the world. We burst into tears.
Late that night, my paralyzed father suddenly offered to join us in the vigil. We carried my father into the spiritual hall, and my father was in a wheelchair, stroking the crystal coffin, looking at his mother lying inside the coffin, crying one after another. We were afraid that my father would be too sad, so we advised him to go back to his room to rest, but he said nothing, and he said "ahah" while drawing with his already very inflexible left hand.
My mother is gone, and none of us can understand my father's words, but can only guess. Later, we found a small blackboard, and my father used his left hand to write down the three numbers "83", "85" and "3" on the small blackboard. I thought about it for a moment and then said to my father, "Are you saying that the old lady is 83 years old and you are 85 years old?" Now that the old lady is gone, you feel very lonely, you are reluctant to let her go, you want to accompany her for another 3 hours... Isn't it? Father nodded, then burst into tears...
Shortly after the Spring Festival in 2004, my parents, who had been living in the city for seven or eight years, decided to return to their hometown in the countryside. They said that they were all over 80 years old, and the leaves fell back to their roots. Although the father has been paralyzed for more than 10 years, but the physique is still very strong, good teeth, good diet, ears and eyesight, every day at home to watch one or two opera vcd, the mother accompanies him, the two people while watching and saying; the mother is full of red light, hands and feet are also very flexible, every day in addition to taking care of the father's daily life, the housework is done in an orderly manner, but also to carry the father to the street, to the park for a walk.
But soon after returning to his hometown, his father had an accident. On June 9, 2004, my father, who had been ill for several days, suddenly fell in front of his home and fell unconscious. When my little brother and I heard the news and rushed home from Changsha and Guangzhou, my eldest brother who worked in Yongzhou had sent his father to the city hospital for rescue, and my mother and eldest brother had been guarding the bedside for a day and a night. This is already the third time my father has suffered a stroke and coma. The doctor said that the father was originally embolized by the right brain, and now the left brain is also embolized, and may not be able to save it. The mother told the doctor that my father had been taking medicine for many years and was highly resistant to drugs, and you would use the medicine "fiercely" to save it.
▲The old house of the second brother
Our three brothers guarded our father day and night, and my mother did not listen to our dissuasion, and also insisted on accompanying him in the ward, and when he was tired, he fell on the edge of the bed and took a nap, and when he woke up, he touched his father's face, rolled over his father's eyelids to see if there was a reaction, and then gently massaged his father. Friends and family came to visit their father endlessly, and when they saw his 83-year-old father lying unconsciously on the bed, "three tubes into (oxygen tube, infusion tube, nasogastric tube) and one tube out (catheter)", they all burst into tears and shook their heads. Some elders also pulled our three brothers aside and reminded us with concern that we should be mentally prepared and prepared for the worst. But the mother insisted that the father's life was great, and he did not die at that time, so there was salvation.
Sure enough, after a week of "intensive" treatment, my father survived and rubbed shoulders with the god of death. At noon that day, the father's hand suddenly moved vigorously in the mother's hand, then opened his eyes to look at the mother in front of the bed, and finally raised his left hand, which had been paralyzed for more than 10 years, pulled out the nasogastric tube, and pulled the oxygen tube open again. We were stunned, but my mother smiled and said to us, "You see, isn't this living again?!" Father looked at us somewhat inexplicably, trying to say something but unable to say it, so he had to raise his left finger and point to his mouth again, "Ah" a few times. The mother leaned down and asked my father, "Do you want to eat?" Father nodded quickly. We lifted up my father, and my mother fed me porridge one by one. After eating, my father went to sleep again.
▲ The "dead" father is resurrected! The whole family was very happy, and the mother carefully fed the father water
The "dead" father is resurrected! Our whole family was very happy. Although the father may never be able to talk to the "aaaah" and may always be lying in bed or in a wheelchair, it is more important than anything that the father can survive. Because, only if our parents are alive, our 9 brothers and sisters will be reunited with our parents on holidays and will enjoy the joy and happiness of a complete family. Mothers feel deeper and more truly than we do. She knows that our 9 brothers and sisters have "flown" out of their hometown, they live a good life and enjoy their old age is no longer a problem, the meaning of their living at the same time has long exceeded the value of their own lives, and more importantly, in order to make the family affection of our whole family stronger and more durable. Therefore, as soon as his father's condition improved, he was about to argue about returning to his hometown, and his mother repeatedly advised his father not to be anxious and live in the hospital for a while. At first, my father said that he didn't agree to anything, and then his mother told him her thoughts over and over again, and my father finally nodded in agreement. After the father was discharged from the hospital in a stable condition, the mother persuaded the father to stay at the second sister's house in Yongzhou City, saying that he would "continue to observe for a period of time." The mother actually wants her father not to return to his hometown, so as to avoid accidents.
But in the end, the mother still did not beat the father. Under the meticulous care of his mother and the family of his second sister, his father recovered quickly. Two months later, my father decided to return to his hometown in the countryside. My mother knew that she couldn't stop her no matter how much she stopped her, so she went to the hospital to listen to the doctor's advice. Arriving at the hospital, my mother lifted my father out of his wheelchair, and my father moved his legs forward a few steps. The doctors couldn't believe it: an 83-year-old man, who had suffered a stroke for the third time, was in a coma, and in two months, he could recover like this! Looking at the doctors' surprise and surprise, my father also laughed "ho ho", and stiffly extended his left thumb, first to the doctors, and then stopped at his mother's chest...
▲Family portrait of our family on my parents' 80th birthday
Although my father recovered better than the doctor and our whole family imagined, he could no longer take care of himself. When we returned to our hometown, we hired a strong laborer to take care of my father. This old man dutifully scrubbed his father every morning and evening, helped his mother feed his father with three meals a day, pushed his father outdoors in a wheelchair during the day to bask in the sun and blow the wind, and slept in the same room with his father at night. But my father was still not satisfied, and from morning to night, he shouted "aaaah" from time to time, lost his temper, and sometimes even beat people with crutches. We felt that this was not the way to go, so we rushed home to discuss with our father whether to change people. When my father heard this, he was even more chaotic and resolutely disagreed. It turned out that the father wanted his mother to take care of him day and night, and they were inseparable from each other for decades together! But the mother is also 81 years old, she should also be taken care of by others, how can she still serve the 83-year-old father who is completely paralyzed? We felt embarrassed. Unexpectedly, my mother said, "I can do it!" I got it! Go back to work tomorrow!" "After trying for two days, my father seemed to have changed into a different person, not noisy or noisy, and all at the mercy of his mother.
We went back to our respective jobs with trepidation, and almost every day we had to call home to ask about the situation. The mother said that the father was "very quiet" and "very obedient", and that taking medicine, eating, recovering and so on were normal and getting better. In addition to taking care of his father's daily diet and living, as soon as he was free, his mother would give his father a massage, and sometimes he would fall asleep while doing it himself. As soon as she woke up, her mother picked up her father and held her father against the wall to practice walking, and my father moved one small step at a time, sometimes the front foot was not on the back foot, and the mother used her own foot to help to top it. At night, the mother slept in the same bed with her father, and I thought about my father and chatted with him, and my father could not speak, which was actually equivalent to my mother talking alone, and when I was tired of talking, the two of them slept together. After the weather cooled down, my mother slept with her clothes so that she could get up at any time and help my father to the wheelchair to pull and pee... The 81-year-old mother takes care of her 83-year-old father. Every time we came home to visit my father and listen to my mother and neighbors talk about this, our eyes were always full of tears...
We have always been very worried that the mother, who is also 80 years old and short in stature, has been waiting for her father, who is 1.80 meters tall, weighs more than 160 pounds, and is almost completely paralyzed. But after a few months, the mother not only persevered, not only did she do a lot of housework as before, but also cleaned up the hygiene of the house, completely without the messy and smelly smell of a paralyzed patient's home, and her own body seemed to be better than the original, full of red light, and looked like she was much younger. The father was even more "closely cooperative" with the mother, who sat quietly and lay quietly when she did the housework, and when the mother came together, he asked the mother to do so for himself. When his mother wanted to help him to go outdoors, he stood up and deliberately sat down, squeezing his mother into the corner of the sofa and unable to move, so that his mother "scolded" him; his father often "spoiled", did not use warm boiling water when taking medicine, but used peanut milk, saying that "medicine is bitter and dead, not delicious.". My father was also getting better and better. We know that our parents do this to make us feel at ease outside, but we are really relieved to be able to do so.
During the Spring Festival in 2005, we rushed back to our hometown for a reunion. Chinese New Year's Eve, Chinese New Year's Eve meal, we stood up together to touch the cup with our parents and wish them health and longevity. No one expected that my father would actually get up from his wheelchair, pick up the wine glass with his trembling left hand, touch it to his mother's wine glass, and then laugh with everyone. We were overjoyed. At that Chinese New Year's Eve meal, our three brothers were all drunk and smoked, and then the whole family came to karaoke together, and the happiness and cheering were more lively than the Spring Festival Gala.
▲ Mother is the "crutch" of the father's life
Spring blossoms, and my father's recovery is the same every month. My father can walk a hundred or two hundred meters with the support of my mother, my father can get out of bed by himself, my father can say a word or two, and my father hopes to hear our voices on the phone every day... Every time I went home to visit my parents or called home to visit my parents, my mother was very fulfilled to inform us of the news, telling us their feelings and wishes. We have a lot of admiration for our parents. They live for us, tenacious and happy, which makes us who are working outside always have a kind of motivation and a motivation. The neighbors all praised their mothers for being "remarkable", and they all put on their fathers" "top hats", saying that their mothers had broken their hearts for their fathers, saying that their fathers were now in good health and should let their mothers play cards and play mahjong with their neighbors to distract themselves. Father listened comfortably and nodded his head while laughing. However, within a few days, my father repented. He no longer allowed his mother to play cards and mahjong. My father didn't stick to his cards all his life, nor did he look at how others played. Even though sometimes the card table was in the hall next door to the bedroom, my father felt lonely. He wanted his mother to be with him every step of the way, to serve him. The neighbors came to give their mother a hug, counted down their fathers, and said that their fathers were not, and their fathers were anxious with them. The mother hurriedly advised her father: "Be well, I owed you in my past life, and I will pay you back in this life." I don't play cards anymore, just greet you, okay? Father nodded and laughed again.
Mother knew that doctors had advised that patients with hypertension and paralysis were the most selfish and difficult to care for. The father is the same, in addition to not allowing the mother to play cards, every meal, he wants the mother to feed himself before letting the mother eat, sometimes encounter delicious dishes, the father eats nothing; and before eating and eating vegetables, he also wants the mother to taste a bite first, see if it is hot, and then open his mouth. The mother knows the father's psychology, never blames the father, the neighbors sometimes say two words to the father, the mother quickly excuses the father, saying that the father is a patient, eat more and eat better, the body is better, and the body is relaxed. It wasn't until later that we came home or came and went to form a rule: after the mother had finished feeding her father, everyone would eat again.
The mother knows that although some neighbors say that the father is grumpy and sometimes like a "bully landlord", only the mother understands the father's love, and only then does she understand that the father loves his wife more than any man loves his wife with all his heart and love with care and affection. Although his father had a big temper, he never moved a finger of his mother in a serious manner; his father was a well-known "capable person" in his hometown, who could do things and make money, but every penny he earned was "handed over" to his mother, and often praised his mother as a "red housekeeper". My mother rarely got sick in her life, but at the age of 50, she developed tuberculosis. At that time, my father was in front of the village secretary, and my younger brother was not yet 5 years old; at that time, anti-tuberculosis Western medicine was not even abundant in the hospital. In order to cure his mother's illness, his father asked his mother to take his little brother to the township health center together, and at the same time contacted relatives and friends everywhere to buy anti-tuberculosis western medicine for his mother. The township health center is more than 10 miles away from home, and my father goes to the health center twice a week to send money to send rice and vegetables and medicines, rain or shine, and the thunder does not move. Every time he went, his father got up before dawn, rushed to the township food station to "open the back door" to buy some meat, and then rushed to the health center, asked his mother about the condition, explained what he wanted to do, kissed the "full cub son", and then hurried home to arrange a day's production and work in the village. 8 months later, the mother was cured and discharged from the hospital, the little brother grew white and fat, the father was not happy, and set down two tables of family banquets to "celebrate", which made the mother feel good and moved. From then on, my mother said in her heart that marrying her father would be "worth her whole life." So, when my father was 68 years old when he had his first stroke and hemiplegia, my mother volunteered to be my father's "crutch", and this time it was 15 years. As long as the mother holds the father or the father supports the mother, the father feels stable and steady when he walks; the father cannot walk without the mother, and the mother can never leave the father, even if he has to go to the relatives, the mother never spends the night at the relative's house, even if he walks at night, he must rush home to accompany the father. This kind of life, the father is used to, the mother is also used to. Therefore, when the father is paralyzed after the third stroke, the parents are more than 80 years old, of course, we do not want to let the mother be the father's "crutch", we are afraid that once the parents fall, we will be ashamed and embarrassed. But in the end, the father still only needed the care of the mother, and the mother chose to "stand on the last shift".
After the death of our mother, our brothers and sisters cherished the days with our father even more. This is the scene when the second brother, his wife and daughter returned to their hometown to accompany their father for the New Year
Mother did not expect that under her care, father would recover so quickly and so well. But the mother still feels unsatisfied. The mother felt that the father's language function was not restored, and people could not understand his words, which would make the father very breathless. Although the mother can estimate what the father wants to say according to the father's mood and expression, sometimes it is inevitable to "go on fire", and once the "fire" father is anxious to swell his face, the more he wants to say it, the more he can't say it, and it is very painful. The mother then tried to find a way, she wanted her father to learn to speak again.
My father was a fan of drama, so my mother bought back hundreds of opera discs and accompanied my father to watch them every day, while watching them and discussing them. Of course, the mother does not know as much as the father, the mother often makes mistakes in the discussion, the father helps the mother to correct, the mother also seriously "asks" the father, the father feels very proud and satisfied. Sometimes, when the father said the old half a day, the mother still did not understand, and the father showed a helpless look. The mother had a clever move, asked someone to buy back a small blackboard, and when she encountered something that she couldn't understand, she asked her father to write a few words to try to help understand. The father only had his left hand to move stiffly, and the words he began to write were all "Heavenly Books", and he could not recognize any of them, and slowly, his mother could guess some from his next pen and pen. After watching the opera discs every day, my mother and my father talked about each family member and the parents in the village. Although this kind of "training" did not eventually restore the father's language function, it made the mother put all the things in her father's heart into her heart. Whenever we came home, when there were people coming and going, when talking to my father, my mother always moved a stool to sit next to or behind my father, and my father said "ah-ah" for a while, then turned his head to his mother, and the mother said what he wanted to say, and the father nodded and then continued to say the next paragraph... In this way, the mother became the father's full-time "translator"...
We did not expect that the father was so trusting and inseparable from the mother, and the mother was so patient and persevering, and that she did something that seemed very worrying and annoying and tedious to others, and did it so happy, so happy, so poetic, so admirable!
For two years, my mother and father were inseparable, loving in the sunset. Although none of our 9 children can look forward to being around our parents for a long time, we are sorry for this, but we feel relieved and happy to see our parents in their 80s still live such a tasteful and interesting life in the midst of serious illness and pain, and to dress up every day in the sunset so colorfully. Just when we revel in the beautiful story of our parents' love in the sunset, misfortune has quietly descended on our home.
In 2006, during the May Day holiday, we returned to our hometown to reunite with our parents and suddenly found that our mother had lost a lot of weight. The mother said that in recent times, the abdomen has always been hidden pain, can not eat, sleep well. We immediately sent my mother to the county hospital for treatment, and after the examination, the doctor diagnosed chronic gastritis. After a few days of drip, the condition seemed to improve, and my mother said that she felt much more relaxed. My father was at home, and he couldn't rest assured, calling three times a day to ask about the situation. The mother knew that her father was urging her, so she said that anyway, it was a chronic disease and gastritis, so she asked the doctor to prescribe more medicine and go home to treat it. After returning home, according to the doctor's advice, drip, take medicine, but it did not work, the mother's physique is getting worse and worse; but when the needle tube is removed, the mother supports the sick body to cook for the father, and she can't eat a little. The father saw it in his eyes, the pain was in his heart, and he couldn't eat well and couldn't sleep, and his physique was also declining. A month later, my mother finally couldn't support her, and we rushed home to take my mother to the city hospital. Before leaving, the mother seemed to have some guilt and said to her father: "I don't have the strength to feed you anymore, and when I am well, I will come back to greet you..." The two 80-year-old people cling to each other, tears flowing down their faces, as if they were separated from life and death. After repeated examinations and consultations at the municipal hospital, the mother was finally confirmed to be "advanced and metastasized pancreatic cancer", and the mother's life was at most three months left!
▲ In the last days of her life, my mother enjoyed the most idle ten days of her life in Guangzhou
A bolt from the blue! It turned out that we thought that the mother had been full of red light, there was no "three highs", the mind was clear, even the birthdays of every son and daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law were clearly remembered, and the 80-year-old should not be close to cancer, and there should be no problem living to be 90 years old or even 100 years old. But no one expected that the cancer demon would find his mother! We forced ourselves to hold back tears and decided: while giving my mother analgesic treatment, we accompanied my mother to Guangzhou and Changsha to play.
We hid our mother's illness and settled our father, saying that we would take our mother to Guangzhou, where my little brother was, to "continue to see a doctor." My mother has never been far away in her life, and when she arrived in a metropolis like Guangzhou, her mother's mood was much more cheerful. After playing for more than ten days, my mother felt very happy, but I felt very tired and difficult; my father kept calling my mother every day to ask my mother , "Is Guangzhou fun?" Just when my mother and her party were preparing to leave for Changsha, where I was, to play for a few more days, my mother suddenly said that if I didn't know what happened to my father at home, Changsha would not go, or go home. It turned out that the mother was still thinking about her father and could not let go of her father. Back at home, my father looked over the photos of my mother playing in Guangzhou, and my mother explained to him from the side, and my father laughed and drooled and said, "I want to go too!" ”
My mother's illness worse and worse day by day, she could not eat, did not sleep well, continued to lose weight day by day, and finally only a handful of bones remained. On August 5, 2006, my mother consumed the last bit of energy and passed away. The villagers said that good people have their own good rewards, and even death died on such a good day. Because the mother died on the twelfth day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar, two days later is the folk "ghost festival", when the grandparents, grandparents and grandmothers have returned, by the way, you can take the mother back to the side, and there is no need for the mother to find a home in the world in hades.
▲On the 10th anniversary of my mother's death and the 6th anniversary of my father's death, our nine brothers and sisters and our descendants gathered in our hometown to pay tribute and commemorate it
After burying our mother, we went back to our respective jobs. Seven seven forty-nine days, we rushed back to our hometown and "poured seven" for my mother. According to the customs of the hometown, "pouring seven" should be made into a dojo, burn paper house banknotes, and pay homage to three animals and nine ceremonies. My father proposed that he also participate in the sacrifice with us. We carried our father to my mother's grave, and my father first pointed with his left finger to the left of his mother's grave and instructed us to bury him there next to his mother when he died. Father and mother, 80 years before they are alive, will never be separated after death. Then, the father "said" "aaaah" while crying. The mother is no longer there, and none of us can understand all of my father's words, but this time, what my father "said", we all understood, and we were in tears. Father is telling the most precious and romantic story that has always remained in his heart, and it is also the most familiar and favorite story that we know and love to hear, and usually, this story is the "title song" that my father dedicated to us on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve.
From the time we can remember, we feel that the most important thing for our family's New Year is not that our parents buy us new clothes and press the old money, not to eat Chinese New Year's Eve meal, but after eating Chinese New Year's Eve meal, the whole family sat together very seriously and very quietly, listening to my father "tell the family history".
My father always started from the scene of my grandfather stewing 10 kilograms of white radish with 5 kilograms of fatty meat for the New Year, and then talked about the pain and happiness of himself and his brothers and sisters, mothers and mother's brothers working hard for life, and then talked about the hardships and hopes of him and his mother pulling our 9 brothers and sisters, and when he was finished, he also added a brief summary of the family affairs of that year and his new feelings and new teachings.
My father was a man who had read many old books, and his "family history" was certainly not as pale and tedious as I wrote. His "telling family history" is like telling a story, vivid images, plot twists, touching details, always at the beginning and end of the intersection, and has incisive experience and commentary, and very naturally with a few "old sayings" and "fashion words" to summarize and interpret. Even if several of our brothers later went to college and listened to my father's Chinese New Year's Eve "telling family history" every year, I did not feel bored, but the more I listened, the deeper I felt, and every year I could hear the novelty, so that we could not chew the taste of life. After my sister and sister got married, they also moved my father's Chinese New Year's Eve tradition of "telling family history" to my in-laws' house. Over time, the people of the eight villages in ten miles said, "The Luo family's family style is really good." Over time, the "family history" that my father talked about, except that my mother could "correct", no one else could change it, otherwise my father would accuse it of "piracy" when he heard it.
The most unforgettable thing about his father was the first time he met his mother. The father said that when a small dye factory was opened outside the country, the mother was the eldest daughter of the grandfather and the only daughter. My mother was a young man, and at the age of fourteen or fifteen, she could help her grandfather do a lot of housework. On that day, my father went on a blind date, not wanting to meet my mother in advance by the small river in front of my grandfather's house: a girl in blue was washing her freshly dyed home weaving in the small river, and the light blue water reflected the girl's red face, which was so beautiful and charming. A handsome teenager squatted on the small bridge for a long time, staring at the girl who forgot her love and forgot the way home... Later, this pair of young boys and girls became our father and mother, they raised our 9 brothers and sisters with a lifetime of hard work and hard work, and also interpreted their classic love that never ended...