Author: Insight Li Siyuan
The multitudes take pleasure in good times, while gentlemen enjoy themselves in bad times.
Mr. Yang Dai once wrote a passage:
"The years covered by dark clouds are unforgettable, but what remains in my memory is the golden edge that contains light and heat."
Looking back on Yang Chen's life, it is full of ups and downs and twists and turns.
But she always maintained a calm heart to accept all the encounters.
From her experience, perhaps we will understand that in this world, there is no satisfactory life, only a self that constantly looks away.
01
Behind the frustration, there is poetry.
There is a saying: Nine times out of ten things are not satisfactory in life.
In a person's life, it is inevitable that there will be some moments of obedience and luck, and it is inevitable that there will be some bitter experiences.
An open-minded person, no matter how many difficulties there are, is not easily depressed; even if he encounters more troubles, he is not easily sentimental.
From 1966 onwards, Yang Dai entered a long period of life.
At that time, she became a critic and shaved off half of her hair.
But she did not feel annoyed by this "yin and yang head", but instead had a clever move, went home and used the big braid that her daughter Qian Yuan had cut to make a beautiful wig, and put it on her head to go out generously.
She even quipped that when she was a child, she envied my brother for shaving his head, and washing his face could be accompanied by washing his hair, which would make me shave my head at least halfway, and the envy would come true sooner or later.
At that time, she was ordered to make the brand of "Cow Ghost Snake God" and wear it on her chest, but she still did not feel discouraged.
On the contrary, it is exquisitely crafted, and the crime of writing his own money is written in the labor letter, and a famous quote from "Alice in Wonderland" is quoted: "The more strange and strange, the more strange the more strange." ”
She was nearly sixty years old when she was sent to the dry school to grow vegetables.
But when she was tending the vegetable garden during the day, she would be busy sneaking around, and used this time to sit on the pony and use her knees as a writing desk, reading or writing.
At that time, the companion who was sent down with Yang Dai recalled: "You can't see that she is melancholy or sad, always laughing and giggling, saying that the biggest education for me during this period is to mingle with the masses." ”
It was during these difficult days that Yang Dai completed the translation of the eight-volume Don Quixote.
There is a saying in the Cai Gen Tan: "Everyone takes pleasure in good times, while gentlemen enjoy themselves from adversity." ”
What can really break a person is often not a bad experience, but a bad mentality.
Blindly chewing on the pain and difficulty in life will only make you more and more overwhelmed.
Always have an optimistic heart, smile at the ups and downs of life, no matter how difficult the obstacles, you can also find a hint of sweetness, no matter how sad the pass, you can also find a piece of fun.
02
Behind the circumstances, the hidden realm.
There is a passage in the Analects.
Zigong asked Confucius: Is there a word that can be used for lifelong practice?
Confucius said that is "forgiveness."
Many times, in the face of denigration and harm from others, we often want to retaliate or retaliate.
But truly cultivated people can not only let go of their grievances in the face of adversity, but also regardless of their previous suspicions, to pull others and help others step by step.
Yang Dai once had a colleague named Ji Yuanzhang.
He participated in the criticism of Yang Chen, and later he was also beaten into a bad element and arrested.
At that time, he was in the countryside, with a father lying on a sickbed, and a wife who had no strength to tie the chicken, living on his salary every month, and after he fell, the family life was difficult to continue.
After Yang Dai knew, not only did he not feel schadenfreude, but instead chose to forgive, and even insisted on taking out a part of the money from his meager salary and sending it to his home every month to help him tide over the difficulties.
Because she always wanted to believe that Ji Yuanzhang might not have intended to hurt herself, but the situation at that time was forced.
At the same time, she is not willing to bury such hatred in her heart all the time, which is both embarrassing for others and torturing herself.
I remembered a sentence once said by Professor Chen Guo of Fudan University:
"If you can maintain an open-mindedness, a cultivation, and a demeanor when you are most lost, the most sloppy, and the most incomprehensible, this is the real kung fu that really sees your cultivation."
In the sea of life, between the ebb and flow of the tide, it is inevitable that the so-called hatred and resentment with others will be formed.
But being able to put it down in time is an atmosphere, and being able to ferry others is even more of a pattern.
03
Behind the strong brace, is strong.
There is a saying that says, "Sometimes we have to be strong, so in pretending to be strong, we really get stronger and stronger." ”
We used to think that there are many obstacles in life that cannot be overcome, and it is difficult to turn over.
But slowly you will find:
The pain you have eaten and the pain you have tasted will eventually make you learn to bear it.
The wounds you have suffered, the tears you have shed, will eventually make you strong.
In 1997, Yang Dai's daughter Qian Zhen died of illness.
Shortly thereafter, her husband Qian Zhongshu also died.
Since then, she has completely become a widowed old man.
At that time, a lady went to visit her, and before she could speak when she entered the door, she saw Yang Dai alone, and she couldn't help but feel sad, and she took Yang Dai's hand and began to cry bitterly.
The 88-year-old Yang Dai in turn comforted her:
"You're four years younger than Qian, silly child, I've survived, are you still so sad?"
You don't understand, if I walk in front of my daughter and Zhong Shu, do you think, can Qian Yu and Zhong Shu stand it?
So, that's not a bad thing, and isn't it a good thing that you think deeply and let me pick up the burden of pain? ”
Suffering can crush a person, not a strong heart.
In the following 18 years, Yang Dai lived in seclusion and stayed at home almost every day to sort out the manuscripts of her husband Qian Zhongshu.
Later, a reporter went to interview her, and originally thought she would be very lonely.
But she said humorously:
"I have a lot to do now, so many things are only for me to do, I am now a 'family'.
This 'home' is the 'home' of the family, not the 'beauty of the generation', I have no offspring, and if I don't do it, no one can do it. ”
Perhaps Yang Dai's heart has endured enough pain and pain to have such open-mindedness and freedom.
As long as she is alive, she will do her best to shine a light.
The thinker Seneca once said, "Why should we weep over fragments of our lives, for all of our lives are tear-jerking." ”
In this life, there are many moments of powerlessness.
I don't know when I will come and go, I don't know when I will die, I don't know when I will come.
But there is nothing that cannot be passed.
A person's pattern is often gradually propped up in a lot of pain.
▽
Mr. Yang Dai once said:
"Everyone will have an unusually difficult time, the pressure of life, the frustration of work, the pressure of school, the trepidation of love.
Survive, life will suddenly open up; if you can't survive, time will also teach you how to shake hands with them and make peace, so don't be afraid. ”
Life has many wrong paths, only to look away.
Keep an optimistic heart:
In the midst of difficulties and misfortunes, roads are opened in every mountain and bridges are built in water.
In the midst of setbacks and pain, in desperate circumstances, cultivate yourself.
You must always believe that what cannot defeat you will eventually make you stronger.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.