There is a type of parent known as "tiger mom" and "wolf dad", which has been repeatedly mentioned in the issue of parent-child relationship in recent years. And the story between Chen Mei and her "Tiger Mother" may be different from the inspirational stories we are familiar with.
When Chen Mei was 21 years old, she chose to break with her mother, and the two have not reconciled so far. Chen Mei is a world-renowned violin soloist, and the first 21 years of her life seemed to have a smooth life under the control of her mother, winning numerous international awards, but in fact, she was very painful.
In addition to her birthday, practicing the piano is Chen Mei's year-round activity, and the school's homework can only be in the back row. The slightest mistake in practicing the piano would make her mother scold her, as she still did when she was 20 years old, and even then, she had not had the experience of crossing the road alone. After breaking with her mother, she regained her passion, skiing, and represented Thailand at the Olympics.
It is not so much that Chen Mei learned to "cross the border", but rather that she used her own strength to "mock" the "tiger mother" - without the violin, I can live a wonderful life. Now Chen Mei, without the strict discipline of The Tiger Mother, can still shine in the field she loves, and she does not know whether the mother who sees Chen Mei's current situation will reflect on her education in that year.
In recent years, the tiger mother-style education method has set off a wave of enthusiasm in China. Along with this, there is also the increasingly fierce phenomenon of "chicken babies", that is, filling children's lives with homework and tasks, and constantly giving children chicken blood, so that they cannot stop the pace of struggle.
The phenomenon of "chicken babies" also appears from time to time in TV dramas, which can often arouse the empathy of the audience and set off a wave of discussion on the Internet. Art comes from life and is higher than life, and such things have not only appeared in some families, but in the lives of many people, far more than we can imagine. In many economically more developed cities, children are trained from an early age to do things far beyond their age, such as independent reading in Chinese and English in kindergarten, reciting a large number of classics, etc., which are just commonplace.
Such an education may be able to raise an "elite" child, but is this equivalent to success? Even if this can really achieve success in the secular sense, is the meaning of life just about success?
In such a family, when the children are still young, parents may be able to make the children obedient through these "tiger mothers" and "wolf fathers" education methods, but excessive harshness will only be counterproductive. Presumably, parents do not want to see their children break with themselves when they grow up, or become a "mother treasure" who "only their parents are obedient".
The meaning of life is not only success, "success is not the goal, making yourself happy is called meaning." How terrible it would be for our education to raise our children to be knowledgeable but spiritually hollow. Spiritual abundance is what really benefits people for life. Success is also defined not just as being an "elite"; in other words, worldly success does not mean true success.
No one can gain fame and fortune or have a million family fortunes in the face of great spiritual emptiness. Like Chen Mei, choosing to break with her mother and live out herself after the awakening of self-consciousness is already a good result. There are also some children who have been affected by "chicken babies" for a long time, may have a rebellious mentality, and the spiritual emptiness will make them choose to pursue "stimulation", and may even embark on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes.
And how many of the reasons why parents choose to become "tiger mothers" and "wolf fathers" are really beneficial to their children? A child who masters eight foreign languages from an early age does not mean that he can express his thoughts in these foreign languages, but may just be a "delicate exhibit" cultivated by his parents, a complete learning machine. Such a child has no benefit to society except to aggravate the "inner volume" of society, and the only possibility is to satisfy the vanity of parents. The so-called "hope son jackie chan" and "hope girl into a phoenix" is just the beautification of parents to "impose their own will on their children".
What kind of education is a good education? Perhaps we can find the answer from the word "education" itself - teaching, educating people. We must not only teach our children knowledge, but also let them have a sound personality. "Tiger mother" and "wolf father" may have advantages that are difficult for other education models to achieve in terms of "teaching", but in terms of "educating people", it is still far behind.