"Etiquette and Miscellaneous Notes": "The mourning of the period, the practice in November, the auspiciousness in March, and the Zen in May." That is to say, when the mourner has been mourned for 11 months, a "practice festival" is held, and the clothes are white and silky. But there was a mourning doctor in the country who was sleeping in bed on this day, and when Zilu knew about it, he told his teacher Confucius about it and asked the teacher if it was proper to do so?
Confucius replied unexpectedly, "I don't understand this." ”
Zilu was a little disappointed, and came out to his classmate Zigong and said, "I thought the teacher knew everything, but the teacher didn't know everything. ”
Zigong said, "What do you ask the teacher?" ”
Zi Lu said, "I asked, 'Is it proper for lu guo's doctor to sleep in bed during his training?' The gentleman said, 'I don't know. ’”
Zigong said, "I'll help you ask again." ”
Zigong walked into Confucius's study and asked Zilu's question again in its original form.
Confucius replied very clearly to Zigong, "Of course this is not in accordance with the law!" ”
ZiGong came out and said to ZiLu, "Of course, the teacher knows everything, how can you say that he doesn't know anything!" I understand now that you yourself are asking the wrong question. According to the etiquette system, residents cannot criticize the doctor of the place of residence, and you live there. ”
A similar situation is also recorded in the Analects, when Confucius was living in the Chu Kingdom in his later years, Ye Gong once said that there was a person in his township party who was very upright, and the father threw a sheep home, and the son denounced his father. Confucius said that the standard of our country is not like this, the father should hide his faults for his children outside, and the sons should cover up their faults for their fathers outside, which is the embodiment of integrity.
According to Confucius' opinion, the son should prevent his father from going outside to steal other people's sheep, but since he has already stolen it, he should not report his father again. I thought that perhaps the man should persuade his father that returning the sheep was the right way to deal with it.
The relationship between love, reason, and law has always been encountered in our lives, and how to correctly handle it is still a difficult problem. In reality, it is generally necessary to emphasize reasonableness, reasonableness and legitimacy, although it is not always taken into account.
In Xun Zi's view, this problem is relatively simple, governing the country, benevolence is the core, righteousness is the bottom line, etiquette is the first choice, indoctrination comes first, and punishment is the last resort. Only in this way can punishment have the highest deterrent effect. Unlike now, some people have to fight lawsuits at every turn, and trivial matters have to fight 110. Human feelings are weak, and there are too many people without morality!
The idea of Chinese society focusing on inner harmony rather than preoccupied with interests is deeply rooted.
In the past, there were many children in the family, and there were conflicts between children, and if there were children complaining to their parents, they generally played fifty big boards each, and small reports were not advocated, and it was not encouraged to bully the small with big.
For example, if there is a small friction between classmates in the school, or some naughty things occur, the students who make small reports are generally not welcomed by other students, and even isolated.
Even in large organizations with strict systems, if there is a conflict between the members of the leadership team of the first-level organization, especially between the main post and the deputy post, it is best to solve it internally. No matter which side goes to complain to the superior, generally neither side will have a good result.
Of course, what is mentioned above should not be a matter of major right and wrong, because the problem of right and wrong is very easy to judge and solve.