Not everyone's family is complete, not everyone has the love of mom and dad, there are always unfortunate children in the world, and I am one of them.
My name is Zhao Qi, and I was born in a small county town in Shandong. In 1998, when I was 3 years old, the woman whose mother had an affair because her father had an affair was pregnant and divorced, after which my mother was laid off again. In order to raise me single-mindedly, my mother tried to provide me with the best learning conditions and nutritional products, but I did not like to study, and when I was in the third grade of elementary school, I was fascinated by computers and often skipped school to play online games. My mother retrieved me from Internet cafes many times. Because I was addicted to online games, I was not able to get into a key middle school.
In order to let me go to a key middle school, my mother borrowed 10,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, in the second year of junior high school, I began to skip school and surf the Internet often. Again and again, in search of me, my mother shuttled through 37 Internet cafes (all the Internet cafes where we lived). In order to prevent me from surfing the Internet, my mother offered to buy me a computer, but I refused.
Every time my mother retrieved me from an Internet café, she either locked me up at home or locked me up in a warehouse on the first floor. But that didn't stop me from going online. I climbed down the drain of my house and used a screwdriver to pry the locks of the warehouse and escape to the Internet café. Again, I didn't come home for 7 days and 7 nights. When my mother looked for me again, she met my father. After hearing that I often went online, my father said that it was fortunate that I had another obedient and intelligent son (that is, the son born after the woman who was having an affair when they divorced). This once again stimulated the mother's fragile nerves. When she found me in the Internet café, I said to my mother, "I was wrong, you can punish me any way you want." ”
So my mother tied me up in the warehouse. She came to see me once, and I begged my mother to let me go upstairs because the warehouse was too hot, but my mother ignored me. At one o'clock in the morning, the neighbor heard me calling for help and knocked on my mother's door, hoping she would let me go home. My mother went down to the warehouse on the first floor, and I begged again to let him go home because it was too sweltering, but my mother ignored me. It wasn't until five o'clock in the morning that I fainted from dehydration due to the heat.
Since then, I haven't seen my mother a few more times, and I've left home alone to work outside the country to support myself. Now that I have a family, I often think of my mother. Last year I took the baby home once, I didn't come home, I went to the neighbor's house, listened to the neighbor, the mother said that after so many years, she did not add a new dress. She couldn't dress well, she couldn't dress herself, she couldn't eat well, and I still remember that in order to make me angry, my mother sometimes even criticized me in front of her classmates, which made me very faceless and made me have no friends. In the eyes of the teacher, I was an obedient student, and my grades were not as bad as my mother said. In 2010, when I entered the middle school entrance examination, I was a full-grade history subject.
I was in adolescence, particularly rebellious, but I didn't know how to vent my repressed emotions, because it was not easy to know that my mother was very bitter. Mothers educate their children as they wish. She doesn't understand what puberty is, she has too much suffering and life stress. But if she can talk to her friends around her, if she can listen to a little persuasion from others, know how to respect adolescent children, and follow the laws of children's growth, then such tragedies will definitely be reduced.
I was just a 15 year old and grew up with my mother's complaints and stressful voices from the age of 3 and I was depressed and miserable. I understand my mother's hardships and my mother's misfortunes, but I am also very bitter and tired. But my mother didn't understand me. Many parents regard their children as their own private property, so they can fight when they want, and scold when they want. Some parents even said, "Your life is all mine, so what if I beat you to death?" "But the child didn't ask you to give birth to him. Since we gave birth to him, we should respect him and treat the child as a human being.
Write at the end
I think something similar is bound to happen again. Because many parents only pray for their children's good grades, they put all their hopes on their children's learning, giving children too much pressure, so that children lose their self and self-esteem.
We cannot condemn Mother and Zhao Qi. They are all protagonists of tragedy. Because of the single mother, because all the pressure is on the mother, because of the unhappiness of the marriage, because I want to prove to the ex-husband that the son I educated has a job, so Zhao Qi has too much pressure on her. I believe that the mother loves her son, so she is reluctant to eat, reluctant to wear, and leave the best to her son, but it is precisely because of the lawlessness of love that her son becomes addicted to the Internet.
Children who are addicted to the Internet are all due to lack of love and communication, there is no normal interpersonal interaction, so only in online games can they find confidence and satisfaction
I understand that being a single mother is not easy, but I don't want similar tragedies to happen again and again. So, how do you love your children instead of treating them as your own private property and allowing them to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes? We were very bitter and tired, but the child he couldn't bear too much. Children grow up with their own rules. I hope that society can popularize more knowledge of psychology.
I believe that there are many such single mothers, not even divorced families, including some parents of poor families, who simply think that as long as their children do well in school, their fate will change. In fact, children's growth is not only to cultivate learning ability, but also the ability to live and be independent. If we can get out of the misunderstanding of "children can learn well", then such tragedies will be much less.
Loving children is the nature of parents, but how to love children so as not to hurt children is worth thinking about!!
A real case around, the neighbor's son scored very well in primary school, after being admitted to a key middle school, the junior high school was fascinated by the game, the grades also plummeted, the middle school entrance examination, did not enter the key high school, the son entered an ordinary high school. But the friend changed her mind, and she saw many flashes of her son. The son has good interpersonal relations, good eloquence, good sports, very industrious, very polite, so, because he is appreciated by his mother, the son also thinks that he is very good, so he became a class leader in an ordinary middle school, and the class teacher also liked him. Because of his mother's recognition and appreciation, the son has a long-lost self-confidence. The neighbor told me that she was so proud of her son! Although the son's grades are not very good, the son is excellent!
If every mother can pay attention to the other advantages of the child's learning, then they will have less blame, more appreciation and praise for the child, then the child will be confident and happy. It is more important for children to have happy memories and happy families than anything else.
In fact, parents do not spend much time with their children. If the children work and get married, they have their own lives; if the parents give their children more love, rather than being so utilitarian and only care about the child's academic performance, then the child will not be addicted to the Internet, the child will not be so rebellious, and the tragedy will not happen.
Single mothers, I hope you will learn how to love your children correctly.