In the novel "Don Quixote" by the Spanish realist novelist Cervantes, a small story is told, and it is lamented that this tragedy killed 3 people.
Finally, the perpetrators of the tragedy finally repent of their actions:
If Camilla knew I was dead, please tell her, I forgive her, she is not obliged to do miracles, and I have no right to force her to do so.
The story is called "Nothing Happens", and its other name is "Why Pursue it to the End".
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" > why pursue it to the end</h1>
The story goes like this:
In Florence, Italy, lived two good friends of noble origins, Anselmo and Rotaglio. Although they are not brothers, their feelings are closer than those of brothers. So others praised their brothers for being good.
Anselmo married Camilla, a beautiful and virtuous lady whom everyone recognized. But after marriage, he was sullen and unhappy.
His unhappiness stemmed from two points:
One was his good brother Rotario who alienated him after he started a family.
The second is that his wife looks chaste and delicate, but she is not sure whether she is by nature or pretending.
Seizing the opportunity, he complained to Rotario: Are we still good friends? I already knew that I had married a wife, so you avoided me, and I got married with a yarn!
Anselmo doesn't know that the rotalio brothers are for his own good, he doesn't want to go in and out of friends' houses frequently, and end up making gossip and ruining the reputation and feelings of the 3 of them.
It stands to reason that this is perfectly fine, and Anselmo should understand the intentions of his friends and be proud to have them.
But no, he makes a request to Rotario: let him pretend to pursue his wife, in order to test whether Camilla is the legendary steadfastness.
Even if Rothario had told him the downside of doing so, it wouldn't have reversed Anselmo's thoughts. At Anselmo's insistence and pleading, he could not erase his face and agreed.
At first, Rothario did not really implement this plan, he tried to deceive Anselmo, pretending to be a failure in his pursuit, but Camilla sternly refused. But his little trick was discovered by Anselmo. And in order to create a chance for Camilla and Rotario to be together, he also deliberately left home and went to the countryside.
On the one hand, Rothario approached Camilla at Anselmo's request, and on the other hand, he was deeply attracted to the beautiful Camilla, from passive to active.
In this way, Rotaglio really did a fake job of pursuing Camilla. Only Anselmo was kept in the dark.
Anselmo really believed his brother's proof that Camilla was loyal to him.
But the paper could not contain the fire, and Anselmo finally discovered The affair between Rotario and his wife.
The wife ran away from home with her money, and even her good brother disappeared.
Sad, he went to the countryside, and it was not until before his death that he truly understood Rothario's intentions in dissuading his plan.
At this point, he truly realized that he should not be tempted. However, it is too late, and his life has come to an end.
The other two parties, Rotaglio and Camilla, didn't end well either.
Rotario learned that his brother was angry and regretted it, originally he was not a morally corrupt person, but because he could not control his lust, he hurt his brother, and under guilt, he went to the battlefield and died on the battlefield.
Camilla, on the other hand, learned of the death of both her husband and lover and became a nun, but she still could not escape the punishment of morality and ended up depressed.
This story tells us:
Human nature is not as solid as we think, do not test human nature, human nature can not withstand temptation.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" > testing the nature of human nature is distrust</h1>
In real life, there is no shortage of things like wives tempting their husbands and husbands tempting their wives.
I often see wives online who doubt her husband's fidelity, so I ask someone to seduce her husband to see if he can withstand the temptation.
A lot of women don't think about the worst outcome before they test it, and they think too well of human nature.
They want their husbands to be able to hold fast to their love for themselves and firmly reject emotional temptations.
But the results often disappoint them.
His husband could not resist the temptation, turned against each other, and fell in love with someone else.
When everything is made public, there is only a chicken feather left, and the broken feelings can never go back.
When a woman chooses to test her husband, the practice itself is distrust, distrust of the other person, and do not believe in herself.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" > can you pay for your actions? </h1>
If you had chosen to test human nature, do you know what the outcome you would face?
Can you bear this result?
For example, if you doubt your husband's loyalty and let your girlfriend test her husband, then you know that your husband may rebel, and if your husband is not too bad, maybe your girlfriend will be emotional, and the result is that they will come true.
And you, inside and out, are not human.
If you don't test, they will never come together.
You think it's their nature to be tricked, but in fact you set a trap and deliberately lured others to jump.
If you don't dig a pit, maybe your husband won't think like this at all.
What would you do if the worst turned out, when the husband and the outsider were okay?
Whether it is a threesome, or to force a third party to withdraw, or to complete the other party.
No matter what you do, the damage is still there.
If you can't afford the worst, don't test human nature, because most of the time you will be disappointed.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" > prepare for the worst and manage feelings with the greatest kindness</h1>
I have to admit that the current marriage and feelings are really unstable, and even the slightest wind and grass may destroy the trust and love that you have so hard to build.
Don't easily doubt each other, unless you have solid evidence, and doubting ghosts without evidence is not good for maintaining your feelings.
If the facts are clear and the evidence is conclusive, then what should be done and what you want to do.
But if you convict the other person just by doubt, it is very unfair to the other party. Of course, you can look for evidence and confirm your judgment because of doubt, but out of nothing, listening to the wind is rain, or you have to. It is possible that an otherwise good relationship has been destroyed.
So, what kind of attitude should we use to manage feelings and marriage?
It is to prepare for the worst and use the greatest goodwill to manage the relationship.
The worst plan is that you can accept that the marriage will change, your relationship may break up, and you may break up.
Such a plan will make us face marriage, there will not be too much pressure, it will be easier.
The greatest goodwill is that before you do something that betrays the marriage and the family, I am willing to believe in you and am willing to work with you to create the beauty that belongs to us, and I will not leave you easily.
This kindness is trust, this trust is unconditional, and I am willing to entrust myself to you, I am willing to entrust my life to you.
As long as you don't betray me, I won't give up on you.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" > conclusion</h1>
If you really love each other, you can't tolerate temptation and distrust. This distrust is fatal to the destruction of the relationship, provided he has no other thoughts.
If he has two hearts, then whether you tempt or not, it will not affect the final result.
People who will betray will betray no matter how they guard against it, and those who want to cheat, even if they don't wear pants and belts, can't stop it.
I think that enjoying love is far happier than doubting love, and before the other half has not changed his heart, we may as well let go of the worries in our hearts and enjoy sweet love.
As for the rest, I'll talk about it later!