Author: Insight Yimo
One man suspected that his wife was deaf and decided to test her hearing.
He shouted ten meters from his wife: "Wife, can you hear me?" The wife did not answer.
He moved to another six meters and asked, "Wife, can you hear me?" "The wife still hasn't talked.
He moved three meters away again and asked, "Can you hear me now?" "You can hear it." She replied, "This is the third time I've answered, and I can hear it!" ”
The man reacted to this, and it turned out that he had a hearing problem.
There are actually many such examples in life, and once we find a problem, we are used to looking for reasons from others.
The introspective is self-evident
There are two baggages on the human body, one in the front and one in the back. The front is the shortcomings of others, and the back is the shortcomings of oneself.
So we can always easily find other people's problems, but turn a blind eye to our own shortcomings.
Teacher Liu Run once told a story.
There is a small brewery in the small county, although the taste is not good, but it is good that the price is cheap, coupled with the remoteness, the small factory business is booming.
Later, with the development of e-commerce, a variety of beers from all over the country entered this small county.
The business of the brewery is getting worse and worse, and the boss not only does not improve the quality of the beer, but complains that the e-commerce platform has robbed his business.
After a few years, the distillery could not make ends meet and eventually closed.
Writer Hans said:
"When bad things happen, people are always trying to find a clear and simple reason to blame others.
This is what we call the instinct to blame people. ”
Only introspection can be self-evident. If a person always looks for reasons from the outside world, he will not be able to recognize himself in this life.
Zeng Guofan's younger brother Zeng Guohua was very talented from an early age, and Zeng Guofan focused on cultivating him, hoping that he could obtain a meritorious name and shine on the lintel.
Unfortunately, he tried repeatedly, complaining all day, complaining that God did not give him a little good luck.
Complain that the examiner has no eyes and can't read his own articles. He even complained that his wife could not restrain herself and could not let herself study with peace of mind. He complained about this, complained about that, but never reflected on himself.
Zeng Guofan wrote to him: "You can't pass the exam, it's all because you didn't work hard and gave up on yourself, who is to blame?" What right do you have to complain! ”
I remembered a sentence that Fan Deng had said: "The highest state of critical thinking is to criticize one's own behavior." ”
Only when a person learns to bow down and introspect himself can he truly understand himself and recognize himself.
Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are wise. Knowing others is called wisdom, and knowing oneself is the real wisdom.
The reflexive are self-reliant
Heine once said: "Introspection is a mirror that can clearly reflect our mistakes and give us a chance to correct them." ”
No one is a sage, and no one can be blameless. The really powerful people are not not making mistakes, but know how to reflect on themselves, know their mistakes and correct them, and constantly make progress.
And those who never reflect can never grow.
The famous Northern Song Dynasty minister Kou Zhun once asked The Taishou Zhang Yong for advice, hoping that he would give him some advice.
Zhang Yong knew that Kou Zhun did not like to read, so he said to him euphemistically: "The Biography of Huo Guanglie must not be read. ”
After Kou Zhun returned home, he hurriedly took the Book of Han and turned it over to the "Biography of Huo Guanglie". Seeing the four words of "no learning and no technique", Kou Zhun woke up in shock, he has been busy with government affairs over the years, and he really does not read much.
From then on, Kou Zhun studied, made up for the shortcomings in knowledge, was highly valued by the imperial court, and later became the prime minister.
The ancients said: "Knowing deficiencies, then being able to reflexively also; knowing difficulties, then being able to strengthen oneself also." ”
Know your shortcomings, so that you can reflect on yourself later; know what you are confused about, so that you can improve yourself later.
Those who have been particularly outstanding throughout the ages are not that they have no shortcomings, but that they know how to introspect themselves, know how to find problems, and correct problems.
During the Tang Dynasty, 5,000 Hui invaded the border. Zhang Guangsheng led 20,000 troops to attack, but suffered a great defeat. After the war, the generals were not convinced, and they asked for war.
Zhang Guangsheng refused everyone's request.
A general asked: "General, our army is superior in number to the enemy army, and it has the advantage of time and place, and we will certainly be able to win another battle. ”
Zhang Guangsheng said: "Yes, the heavens and places are all in our place, but we have failed, which shows that there is a problem with my strategy." I need to find out my own problems to have a chance of victory. ”
Zhang Guangsheng did not blame his generals, but instead reflected on himself and touched all the soldiers.
After several days of introspection, Zhang Guangsheng decided to target the supply of Huiyi. While fully mobilizing his soldiers, he mobilized the people, fortified the walls and cleared the wilderness, and joined forces with the army and the people, and finally suffered a great defeat.
The ancients said, "If you smell it, you are happy." "Those who are really good, seeing their mistakes are not chagrin, but happy.
Because they know that every time they correct a mistake, they can take a step forward. Only in this way can a person constantly improve himself and become a better self.
The pattern of inward seekers is large
In ancient times, there was a prime minister who asked a shaver to help him get a haircut. reason
Halfway through, the emperor summoned him, and the prime minister urged the shaver to hurry up. The shaver was nervous and shaved off the prime minister's eyebrows, and the shaver immediately knelt down and begged for forgiveness.
The prime minister took a look at the mirror and thought that this was going to be a saint, and he would definitely not be able to eat and walk around. Just wanted to get angry, think about it: if he hadn't pushed it tightly, he wouldn't have lost his hand.
Thinking of this, the prime minister said gently: "It doesn't matter, go and get your pen and draw your eyebrows." ”
After this matter was known to the emperor, the emperor did not blame him, but praised him for being "able to hold a boat in the belly of the prime minister." ”
We often say: one slap does not make a sound.
When something happens, there must be many reasons. If you only stare at others and ignore yourself, people are prone to become small and harsh on others.
The ancients said: "The heart of the person who blames himself blames himself, and the heart of forgiveness forgives others." "Only by reflecting and seeking from within can we be tolerant and nurture the pattern."
In the Ming Dynasty, Jiangyin had a large family of wangs, and the patriarch was called Xia Weng. One day he was crossing the river by boat and a man threw feces on his boat. Xia Weng was furious and had him arrested to see the official.
But Xia Weng thought for a moment, why would someone throw feces at themselves for no reason? Did you offend him?
So he asked the housekeeper to inquire, and the housekeeper found out that this person had borrowed money from the Xia family, and the Xia family urged it several times, urging it too tightly, before letting him do such a thing.
When Xia Weng found out, he forgave this man and warned his subordinates not to collect debts again, and to wait until he had money.
The locals knew about this and praised Xia Weng for his kindness and generosity.
The Buddhists have clouds: "The heavens and the earth are wide, but the contemptible are self-absorbed." "Only by learning to seek within and find reasons from oneself can we be lenient with others."
Only by introspecting oneself can we resolve the resentment in our hearts and create harmonious interpersonal relationships.
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The ancients said: "If you can't do anything, you ask for yourself." "When you encounter something, if something goes wrong, you should first reflect on yourself and find the reason from yourself.
It is a kind of wisdom that allows us to discover ourselves and recognize ourselves.
It's a kind of self-discipline that allows us to spot mistakes and improve ourselves.
It is a kind of tolerance, which allows us to tolerate each other and live in harmony.
Seeking outside is the way out, and seeking inside is the way.
Click to see, and then learn to find the reason from yourself.