If your child is a "conspicuous bag", congratulations! This is a good thing

People who are brave and courageous often achieve more outstanding things.

Every wonderful possibility of your child is hidden in the encouragement and exercise opportunities you give him.

Author | summer

I was especially afraid to take my son out because he would do something that made me so embarrassed to pick my toes every time.

We were shopping together and saw that the newly opened bakery was doing a tasting activity, so he immediately ran up to the taster and said:

"Young sister, can you give me a taste of everything?"

The taster gave them to him one by one, and he ate them calmly and leisurely while carefully commenting:

"This matcha smells so strong.

This meat is scorched on the outside and tender on the inside, which is quite delicious.

This one is black, disgusting to look at, and eats well.

……”

Watching him eat with relish, without shame, I stood by and wanted to find a seam to get into.

Take him on a trip, and every time he goes to an iconic building, he has to make all kinds of bizarre movements to take pictures.

Sometimes, we even pretended to be cute and asked passers-by to take photos for us.

Family friends dinner, he either tells jokes to make everyone laugh, or incarnates as an emcee, pretending to be an adult to bring the atmosphere:

"Come on, please raise the wine glasses in your hands..."

At the opening ceremony of the school sports day, I searched for him for a long time with wide eyes, but I learned afterwards that he was the one with the husky dog head in the middle of the team.

I often complain to my girlfriends:

"Raising such a 'conspicuous bag' is really old."

"Conspicuous bag" actually means that the child is too showy, loves to be ostentatious, and at the same time a little embarrassing.

But the girlfriend said enviously:

"You're really cheap and selling.

How good it is to raise a 'conspicuous bag' child, you never have to worry that he will be cowardly, dare not show himself, let alone worry that he will miss the opportunity due to caution, he dares to think and dare to do, in the future can be satisfactory. ”

My girlfriend's words woke me up like a dream.

Yes, children's love of performance and like to be flamboyant is not a disadvantage, but will benefit a lot.

Raising a "conspicuous bag" is the pride of parents

I once saw such a video, a little girl came home and complained to her mother:

"It's so annoying, the other day there was a show in the class, and I didn't sign up. As a result, Tingting went, but her performance was not as good as mine! ”

Mom asked her:

"Then why didn't you sign up?"

The girl replied:

"I'm afraid that I won't be able to do it well and be laughed at by my classmates, and besides, the teacher didn't let me go."

The little girl was annoyed that she did not dare to express herself boldly and lost an opportunity to show herself.

In contrast, the son of the "conspicuous bag" will not have such troubles at all.

I remember when my son was 5 years old, a singing competition was held in kindergarten, and the little conductor of their class suddenly had a fever and couldn't come, so he volunteered to run to the teacher and said:

"Teacher, I can command."

So, the son appeared after the teacher's two-hour emergency training and successfully completed the game.

Since then, the son has not only opened a new skill, but also become a "fragrant food" in the eyes of the teacher.

When his son first entered the first grade of primary school, other children were afraid to talk to the teacher, but he ran to chat with the teacher, helped the teacher carry homework, took a water cup, and was appointed as the class leader by the teacher a week later.

Although I often ridicule my son for being "cheeky" and "loving performance", it is undeniable that my son's "conspicuous bag" personality has indeed won him a lot of opportunities and benefits to be noticed.

As the old folk saying goes:

"Jade in the pu people do not know, cut open the knowledge of the world treasure."

Children who dare not express themselves and are timid and cowardly are always easily overlooked.

And those children who are good at expressing themselves and are bold and lively are easily discovered and valued.

A video blogger named "Wumi Bai" relied on his "conspicuous bag" personality to come all the way to the United States from a poor child in the mountains of Inner Mongolia.

In high school, because she didn't want to squeeze into a class of 80 people, she tried to get the first place in the exam and found the principal and said:

"I'm going to the best class."

As a result, as she wished.

During the military training at the university, there was no class leader, and she took the initiative to raise her hand to become an instructor and counselor, as well as a liaison to the class.

During class, she always sits in the front row, always collecting materials and always being the first to give to the teacher.

Many classmates said behind her back:

"How can she be so showy?"

But she didn't care in the slightest.

When she graduated from college, she went to graduate school because of her good grades.

Her graduate supervisor suggested that she make short videos, and she took videos everywhere with her mobile phone under the strange eyes of her classmates.

When she graduated, the school invited her to broadcast the graduation ceremony live.

Later, she also went on CCTV to promote her hometown.

Her "conspicuous bag" personality allows her to be unafraid of the eyes of others all the way, dare to think and do, dare to perform, actively strive for opportunities for herself, change her life trajectory, and live her own wonderful.

So you see, what a proud thing it is to raise a child with a "conspicuous bag" personality.

How to develop a child's "conspicuous" character?

John Bobier once said:

"The close relationship between children and their parents is essential for their emotional development and character formation."

What kind of personality a child will develop is closely related to family education.

If you want to raise a child with a "conspicuous bag" personality, parents must do the following:

1. Give your child more attention and attention, and listen patiently to your child's nonsense

I once saw such a case:

In the fourth grade of elementary school, no matter what I saw, heard, or what interesting things happened in school, I liked to tell my parents when I came home.

But Mom and Dad were not interested in what he said, either interrupting him under the excuse of "I'm busy" or criticizing him:

"Thoughts are spent on these trivial things, how can you do a good job in learning?

Over time, Huan Huan no longer reported what happened to her school to her parents, and people became depressed, always preferring to be alone in the house.

Mom and Dad were very worried and didn't know what happened to Huan Huan.

As everyone knows, it is their neglect that stifles Huanhuan's self-confidence and desire for expression.

Educator John Dewey once said:

"Children are born with a strong desire to express, they crave attention and recognition."

Parents satisfying their children's desire for performance can greatly enhance their children's sense of self-identity, improve their self-confidence, and make them have a sense of pride and strength to continuously develop and improve themselves.

Therefore, give the child more attention and attention, and listen patiently to the child's nonsense, so that the child can express himself more positively and confidently.

2. Expand your child's social range and take your child out to deal with strangers

Girlfriends have always protected their daughters very tightly.

Because she is afraid of her daughter's tanning, her daughter falling, and her daughter being bullied by other children, girlfriends rarely take their daughters out, and rarely let their daughters play crazy with other children.

As a result, her best friend's daughter is 5 years old this year, and as soon as she is asked to say hello to an acquaintance, she hides behind her girlfriend.

Take her to the playground downstairs of the community to play, she sticks to her girlfriends like gummies, and does not dare to take the initiative to make friends.

At school, as soon as the teacher asked a question, she would bow her head, clutch the corner of her clothes, and not say a word.

Psychologist Richard Carlson once said:

"Children need to socialize with their peers so they can develop healthy self-esteem and self-confidence."

Psychologist Daniel Goleman also once said:

"Social skills are important skills that children must acquire as they grow up, which will affect their social relationships and mental health."

Captive childhood, not only the child's body, but also the child's ability to communicate with others, the ability to communicate, and the ability to build trust and cooperation with others.

Therefore, if you want to raise a brave, confident and good at interacting with others, you must let the child go out of the house, expand the scope of children's communication, take children to deal with strangers more, and take children to play with strange children.

Often let the child face unfamiliar people and environments, reduce the child's sense of anxiety, enhance the child's self-confidence, only in this way, the child can be successful in the crowd in the future.

3. Always give encouragement and affirmation to children, and maintain positive expectations for children

The famous host Dou Wentao was also a timid and shy child when he was studying.

Once in a speech competition, he forgot the words because he was overly nervous and did not say two paragraphs.

Standing on the podium, he was extremely embarrassed and at a loss, and a warm current ran down his left trouser leg.

His teacher later talked to him and told him:

"Although your performance that day was not very good, the two passages you memorized were very eloquent, and I recommend you to participate in the district competition."

In this way, with the encouragement of the teacher, Dou Wentao plucked up the courage to go to the district to participate in the competition and won the second place.

Since then, Dou Wentao has become more and more confident, more and more like to share on stage, and naturally became a host.

So you see, with more encouragement and affirmation for children, children will have more confidence and more courage to shine themselves.

As the famous Rosenthal effect says:

You maintain positive expectations for your children, encourage them to try bravely, challenge boldly, and believe that they have the ability to do better, and they will grow into what we expect.

On the contrary, if you often belittle and hit your child, hurt your child's self-esteem, and erode your child's confidence, your child will grow into what we say it is.

Other words:

We have the future of our children hidden in our mouths.

Give children more encouragement and affirmation, so that children can gradually overcome their weaknesses and become better and better.

I particularly agree with what Wilde said:

"Brave people are sometimes luckier than cowardly because they have the courage to try." – Malcolm X

Many times, it is not that the world prefers those who are brave, confident, and good at performance, but that you can only be seen and valued if you are good at performance.

Therefore, it is not appropriate to let children be a bold "conspicuous bag", dare to show themselves, try, pursue, get more opportunities for growth, more self-confidence, and a better future.