Every school season, I unconsciously become the "most unhappy parent"

Two days ago, I brushed a 5-second small video, a little girl was bouncing with her friends in the square, and suddenly an adult came over and asked her: "Is the homework finished?" ”

Pay attention to this little girl, the smile on her face instantly froze, and she didn't care about playing, there was only one thought in her heart, and she quickly "flashed people".

The title of this video is also very expressive, "How to become a discouraged adult in one sentence"!

Ha~ After watching it, I will smile, isn't this the daily life of our family before school starts?

Just today, I just got home and my son rushed to greet me. My first sentence was, "Did the teacher assign any tasks on the first day of school today?" ”

He immediately pouted, shouted "smelly mother", turned around and left.

Although subjectively, we are unwilling to become or unwilling to admit it, objectively we always unconsciously become "unhappy parents" - the most attacked crowd on the Internet in the past two months!

01

Tracing back to the roots, the first to explode this topic this year was a vlog shared by a girl on the Internet, titled "What is the experience of having a parent who is not discouraged?" 》——

In the video, there are some simple and warm daily routines, such as she goes downstairs to buy popsicles in the middle of the night, and her mother accompanies her and eats happily together.

She drew a weird freckle makeup and asked her father if he looked good, and although his father didn't say anything, he laughed super loudly with her.

She took her parents to the restaurant, although she was unemployed at home at this time, but her parents did not blame her for spending money indiscriminately, and her father also took photos to record beautiful moments.

It is these ordinary fragments that made three million netizens collectively break the defense, "This kind of unhappy parents is simply more enviable than the rich second-generation luxury car." "Now material abundance is not unusual, and the spiritual wealth of this family is the most rare."

Netizens also took the opportunity to pour bitter water, counting the moments when they were "discouraged" by their parents from childhood to adulthood:

For example, a boy finally saved enough money to take his parents to travel abroad, he originally planned to take the old couple to taste local food, but his mother brought two suitcases of instant noodles, requiring three meals a day to save money.

He endured eating instant noodles for three days in a row, but he couldn't stand it, and told his mother a complaint that was suppressed in his heart: "The air tickets have cost thousands, why don't you eat well, can't you eat instant noodles at home?" When my mother heard his words, she sat on the ground in the parking lot of the scenic area and cried, accusing him: "I don't have a temper outside!" ”

There was also a 14-year-old junior high school student who prepared a bouquet of flowers for his mother as a surprise on Mother's Day, but his mother was so angry that she couldn't do it, and angrily scolded him, "This thing that is not real at all, it will have to be thrown away in two days, you give me back." ”

The little boy was so aggrieved that he shed tears, but his mother didn't know where he was wrong.

Can't see the child consuming, can't get used to the child's enjoyment, habitually suppresses and degrades and splashes cold water, and the emotions can never be at the same frequency... There are a lot of similar examples, it really can't be said for three days and three nights, and some netizens also made a summary of God -

The so-called "Chinese-style discouraged parents" means that if you share happiness with them, happiness will disappear; You talk to them about your troubles, and the troubles are doubled.

02

I myself was "splashed" by my mother with basins of cold water, but I lived to be almost 40 years old, and I have to find some fragments from my childhood memories to spit on the older generation, in fact, I think it is very unnecessary.

It's not that the memory has been blurred, it's that I have long learned to reconcile with my native family.

What's more, I am now a mother myself, and I know how difficult it is to be an old mother who does not disappoint her children from beginning to end.

Although I often remind myself that I can't follow the old path of a generation of Chinese parents, and I want to be an old mother who can communicate with her children and resonate emotionally at the same frequency, it is still difficult to avoid "disappointment":

Sometimes it is carrying heavy upbringing pressure, such as it is already eleven or twelve o'clock at night, the baby is still bouncing on the bed, who is not annoyed when he sees it? It is clear that the thing is on the table, he did not look at it, all kinds of mothers, mothers asked, where, who can be calm ...

Sometimes because I have already felt the hardships of life and experienced too many realistic beatings, I hope that my child can know that not everyone in society revolves around you, and always "encouraging boasting" about your collapsed performance...

Sometimes it is necessary to prepare for his future, the future road in the end still has to be independent for the child to break in, if you don't want to go too hard, the life is too embarrassing, then now is far from the time to "lie flat, put rotten"...

The happiness of children is of course important, but the "happiness" that loses boundaries will only be reduced to indulgence. Sometimes our "disappointment" is a last resort, but also have to, think about this, there is no need to blame yourself too much!

03

It's just a kind of disappointment, and I still feel indebted to my son.

That is, after getting older, sometimes I really feel so tired, how to rest and energy can not recover, so tired that I can't even take care of myself, so that I accidentally ignore my son's needs.

For example, from 6 a.m. to 10 o'clock at night, when you get home, you just want to collapse on the bed, pretending that you are a dead fish that can't move, and you can't care about accompanying your children.

On the weekend, I promised to take him to the museum a few times, and I also grabbed the number on the Internet two days ago, but before I went out, something suddenly happened, or my body was a little tired, and I wanted to take a little rest, and if I dragged on, the original plan may not be able to be fulfilled!

My son must be disappointed, and I didn't feel that "time is saved to rest for myself", how comfortable it is, but my heart is full of tears——

Or stand up, tired a little tired!

Or continue to rest, the sun is so big outside, it's good to take a step ~

After going back and forth a few times, I figured it out, the key is not whether to accompany my son to "high" when I no longer have "energy". The first thing I had to do was find a way to "recharge" myself first.

When a person is too tired, the need to relax is the core appeal. Only when we take care of ourselves first can we have the energy to satisfy others.

And for this kind of unhappiness, it needs to be further explained to the child.

I would tell my son, "Mom is too tired from work and needs to rest now, I know you really want to go out and play, let's compromise and go to the movies in the evening." ”

I want my children to know that moms are not ironclad and omnipotent supermen, and that the adult world has a lot of powerlessness and last resorts. Love is a mutual understanding, not a bondage to each other...

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I hope that the mothers who read this article will not become the object of children's complaints on the Internet in ten or twenty years, and they can't do it 100% without being discouraged, at least let the baby understand why we want to "discourage" and encourage everyone!