The elderly with children are sick, the whole family is in chaos, and it is "difficult" for nannies and childcare institutions to choose

Text/Video Sanxiang Metropolitan Daily New Hunan Client All-media Reporter Yu Can Intern Lu Ting

"Ready to have a second child?" "Don't dare to give birth, no one brings it!"

With the implementation of the three-child policy, this is a conversation that has occurred with many one-child parents, and "no one to bring children" has become the reason why many couples of childbearing age do not want to have a second child. For parents who have already given birth to a second child, the problem of childcare is more serious and realistic. Children over 3 years old can be sent to kindergarten, what should I do under 3 years old? Especially in dual-income families, couples have to go to work, who will bring the children?

A reporter from Sanxiang Metropolitan Daily interviewed a number of two-child families in Changsha. The urgent need for a reassuring, affordable and nearby public childcare institution is the common voice of parents with many children.

(On June 1, 2023, in the community of Furong Road, Qingshuitang Street, Kaifu District, Changsha City, the "June 1st" Children's Day holiday was closed, and community staff launched a free "bringing a baby" service.) Photo by Wang Zhifang)

Family One

6,000 yuan a month of childcare expenses, can't eat

The daughter of Ms. Fu of Changsha Kaifu District was born in 2014 and is very well-behaved and obedient, allowing the couple to experience the happiness and joy of parenthood. After the implementation of the two-child policy, although there were no elderly people in the family to help, the two decided to have a second child.

At the end of 2019, the second eldest was born, and after Ms. Fu's family changed several nannies, they finally left their favorite nanny. The children are taken alone by the nanny during the day, and in the evening, the couple comes home from work to take over. They went through a very tortuous process of finding a childcare institution.

"My husband and I are very busy at work, and we can only accompany our children at night, and my daughter needs tutoring when she goes to elementary school, leaving less time for my son." Ms. Fu said that her son has always been brought up by a nanny, and he has no worries about food and clothing, but his living habits are not good. Because the son is lively and active, the nanny can't watch it when he goes out alone, stays at home most of the time, and rarely has contact with children of the same age.

Ms. Fu noticed the disadvantages of the nanny with the baby, coupled with the daughter's commuting to and from school and some extracurricular classes need to be picked up, the nanny alone can not be busy, her son is about one and a half years old, she began to look for childcare institutions, ran around the community, most institutions do not accept ultra-young children, and willing to accept institutions are either particularly expensive, or the conditions are simple.

"There is a well-known chain kindergarten next to the community, but the tuition fees for young children are too expensive, 6,000 yuan a month plus some other expenses, and the daughter who has just entered primary school spends a lot, and ordinary wage earners really can't afford it." Ms. Fu said that she has also seen the childcare institutions in the community, most of them rent a first-floor residential house, more than 130 square meters of the house is crowded with more than a dozen children and a few teachers, and the internal road of the community is outside, and there is not even a closed outdoor activity space. When the caregiver is older, and when asked if he is qualified, the person in charge repeatedly changes the topic with the phrase "they are all neighbors, and you can rest assured that the children are placed in me."

In March this year, Ms. Fu's son turned 3 years old and finally joined a kindergarten.

"I was hospitalized with pneumonia just after entering the kindergarten in March, and the doctor said that it was related to the children's new exposure to a more complex environment." Ms. Fu believes that if there is a professional childcare institution, the children adapt to group life earlier, and the resistance may be better, "I hope that relevant departments will pay attention to the childcare dilemma of multi-child families and give multi-child families some choices." ”

Family Two

The old man who helped with the baby suddenly fell ill, and the whole family was in chaos

Ms. Ye from Changsha gave birth to her second child in 2021, and she did not expect that she would be so anxious two years later.

Ms. Ye got married 6 years ago, gave birth to an eldest son 2 years after marriage, and gave birth to a second son in 2021. Because when I gave birth to the eldest, my mother and mother-in-law took turns to help bring up the baby in Changsha, although the first mother was a little busy, but it was generally smooth. But after the birth of the second eldest child, she deeply felt that bringing two babies is not as simple as "1+1=2".

The second is now 2 years old, and it is time to be mischievous. Last week, Ms. Ye's mother was ill and hospitalized, facing major surgery and needing to be accompanied by her family, and the family was suddenly in chaos. Although the mother-in-law came to the "rescue" in time, the old man was old and it was very difficult to take care of the two children. The eldest was already in kindergarten, and at the time of the interview, Ms. Ye was anxious to find a childcare institution, intending to send the second eldest to reduce the burden on her mother-in-law.

"Several nearby communities have seen it, either the distance is very far, or the price is too expensive to afford, or the conditions are too poor to worry, I didn't expect it to be so difficult to find a childcare institution." Ms. Ye said: "I hope to find a suitable childcare institution as soon as possible to send the second child over, if only the kindergarten could open a small class to accept children under the age of 3." ”

Ms. Ye admits that she is now lacking in skills. Although I gave care to my mother in the hospital, I still needed to be with me frequently; Leave is limited and work is juggling; After work, I have to rush home to take care of my children, "It's a mess!" ”

Family three

The mother-in-law and mother each bring a baby, and the twin mother has separation anxiety

Both husband and wife are busy with work, and Ms. Li in Yuhua District of Changsha is nearly thirty years old before giving birth to a pair of lovely twin daughters. Now that her child is just 2 years old, she is also desperate to find a childcare institution to take care of her children, and the long-term separation from her two children has caused her severe anxiety.

Ms. Li's twin daughters were brought by her grandmother to her hometown in Yueyang and the other to Shenzhen by her grandmother, and Ms. Li was separated from her two children for a long time. Every weekend, Ms. Li can't wait to drive to see her children, and because Shenzhen is farther from Changsha, she has fewer opportunities to see her young daughter.

"The child grows up slowly, and if the sisters can't live together and can't grow up with their parents, then there will definitely be regrets later." Ms. Li told the Sanxiang Metropolitan Daily reporter that her ideal state is to find a suitable childcare institution, send the children over during the day, and the nanny is responsible for picking up and dropping off the children, cooking dinner, and doing hygiene, so that the family of four can live together.

Ms. Li asked around that there was only one institution near the community that could take care of ultra-young children, but Ms. Li was not at ease.

"Every day at noon and in the evening, elementary school students come to eat and study, and teachers need to take care of these students. Childcare is not like childcare institutions have enough teachers to take care of children, older children are inevitable to fight, my child is only 2 years old, there is no way to play together, and may even be injured. Ms. Li said.

In the past six months, she has not found a suitable institution, and Ms. Li still spends her weekends on the road to visit her children.

Family Four

The full-time wife wants to return to the workplace, what to do with the two children

Ms. Yang's family, who lives in a resettlement community in Changsha's Wangcheng District, quit her job when her first child was pregnant, and now her eldest son is 7 years old and her youngest daughter is 2 years old. I used to have my mother-in-law to help, although it was hard but busy.

After the Spring Festival in 2023, the mother-in-law needs to take care of her sick father-in-law and cannot continue to help, and the burden of taking care of the two children falls on Ms. Yang. As her children grow up, family expenses increase, and relying on her husband to work alone is financially stressful, and Ms. Yang has been considering returning to the workforce.

"The two children spend a lot of money, and my son will be in the second grade in the second half of the year, and the basketball class and painting class are a lot of expenses every year. Thinking that my daughter would also go to school in the future, I was anxious to go out early to find a job. Ms. Yang said. There is no childcare near the residential community where she lives, only a kindergarten. The kindergarten teacher has known Ms. Yang for many years, and in March this year, Ms. Yang discussed putting her daughter in the kindergarten, and the child only tried for half a day and cried and did not want to go again, and even usually had to detour through the kindergarten. The kindergarten teacher also said that the child is too young to play with other children, and it is impossible to arrange someone to take care of the little girl. Ms. Yang had to find another way.

"In recent months, I have been asking about where my daughter can be raised, which is either far away or expensive. If not, it will have to wait until September this year, when the child is two and a half years old and should barely be able to go to kindergarten. Ms. Yang reluctantly said that she hoped that there would be public or affordable childcare institutions like Puhui Kindergarten to solve the urgent needs of mothers with many children.