No one can accompany you unconditionally forever, you know, even the shadow will be absent on a rainy day.
The pain of being separated from a loved one makes people reluctant to taste it. But those who experience separation and really stand up are often those who have love in their hearts, constantly reflect and explore, and thus grow.
▼ Emotional psychological counseling interprets for you, what do you think and feel after separating from your loved one? And how did you get out of this relationship and grow?
Many people look back on the period of broken love and say:
"After you left, I realized that I was a very egoistic person."
"After losing, I learned to cherish those who are good to you."
"After years of relationship are over, when you are no longer in my life, I know what I want."
……
And these experiences are difficult for people who have not really loved and lost to understand.
In fact, every experience is an opportunity for us to grow, and girls grow up and mature in repeated love. The end of a relationship can also be an opportunity for self-growth. It's about how we approach it and what we can learn from it.
Reflect on how to love someone
In every relationship, we carry certain emotional needs, and the same is true for love, we always want the other person to meet some of our deep emotional needs.
The breakdown of the relationship does not mean that the other person is bad or that we ourselves are bad, but it means that there are some needs that we are not meeting or not meeting the needs of the other person.
Therefore, after falling out of love, you may wish to reflect,
In addition to our equal, warm and harmonious relationship, what does the other person want us to give? How do we love and express love? Are there many things you don't have to care about? Do you pay too much attention to your own feelings and let the other party's expectations be disappointed again and again?
Perhaps, if you think carefully about the other party's requirements and complaints about you, you can find the answer.
Second, re-understand yourself
Before meeting that person, maybe you fantasize about what your partner should be like, with a whole bunch of conditions. But after meeting that person, you will find that the previous conditions are not conditions, you will understand what kind of personality you are, what is your emotional state, what you like, and what you don't like in the relationship between two people.
And when the relationship between two people falls into tension, breakdown, and comes to the end, you will also know what you need, which are not satisfied by the other party, and which are your bottom line.
Therefore, many people say that by going to a real relationship, you will know yourself better.
And, after the breakup, you will deepen your understanding of yourself through self-reflection. After breaking up, maybe you will suddenly discover your true interests, suddenly discover a certain potential, or suddenly discover the true meaning of life...
Third, see your place in love
Sometimes, the reason why lovers cut off all their affection with one knife is often because they can't see a way out in this relationship and feel powerless and can only give up.
In love, each other should be a mutually nourishing relationship, if a person only asks for love and tolerance, can not give each other love and tolerance; If a person is always like a child who sees the other as a parent, the relationship will be unbalanced and the other will feel tired; If a person deliberately puts himself above the other, intentionally or unintentionally hitting the other ... Sooner or later, the other party will "get tired and unloved", feel hopeless in this relationship, and withdraw from it.
Therefore, it is really important to put yourself in the right place in love. Respect each other's efforts, but also pay for each other, more tolerance, less calculation.
Fourth, give up illusions and recognize reality
We often have certain illusions about love. After experiencing a love, girls will find that there is no Prince Charming in the world, but there are many childish big boys; And boys will also find that falling in love is not about playing with beautiful girls all day, but about carrying the burden of happiness for the future.
Moreover, love is not always happy, and even makes people feel sad, painful and helpless many times.
However, this is love itself, and because of love, many times we are able to endure these heartless places. If you have been expecting love without any conflict, and have been unwilling to give in and suffer losses in the conflict, then love will leave you.
Moreover, even if two people who love each other are together, it does not mean forever, because always need to be created together.
After falling out of love, we have a real understanding of love and partner, adjust our expectations for love and partner, and be more down-to-earth in the later emotions.
5. Learn to cherish and be grateful
Many things, hypocrisy is a big thing, not pretentious is.
After really losing, I can no longer enjoy the other party's good to myself, and I understand that there is no good for no reason, and many things do not have to be so persistent.
Also because of understanding the pain of loss, in later life, I will be especially grateful to others for their kindness, and I will also cherish the people and things around me, and less obsessed with some unnecessary little things. As a result, I found myself happier and happier in my relationship, I had a lot of myself, and I became easily satisfied.
When you stop taking the love of others for granted, you learn to be grateful and know how to reciprocate. So happy you also bring happiness to others, and can manage your relationship with others better.