Author/Window Sill
Although I have always supported a person's attitude of spending money to judge the depth of love, because everyone's actual situation is different.
But you need to add a premise, you just can't compare with others, think that how much money a person needs to spend for you is to love you, after all, about this money, some people may easily take it out, but for others, it is difficult to go to the sky. So whether the people around you love you or not, you know best. No matter how generous the love of others is, it is not your business, you must use your own eyes and heart to see the person in front of you, do not be blinded by the glitz described by others.
But I still want to say that if after a relationship is really established, all you feel is miserliness and reluctance in this person, then you really need to reflect on the necessity of the existence of this relationship.
Why wait until the relationship is established?
Quite simply, in the early stage, when a relationship is not stable enough, or the other party still has doubts about you, this person does not understand you at all, afraid of the bamboo basket to hit the water, so whether emotionally or financially, do not dare to have too much to pay, is a very normal thing.
If you think about it in a different position, you can understand that no one's money is blown by the wind, and multiple hearts and eyes are not a bad thing.
But if after a relationship has been stabilized, the person in front of you is still financially guarding against you, spending money on you is particularly stingy, remembering four words, is particularly stingy, this attitude actually reflects a person's sincerity.
What is particularly miserly? Roughly speaking, this person is full of calculations and trade-offs even normal expenses, and he is not willing to buy you anything, thinking that he has suffered a loss.
Love is abstract, but behavior is figurative. If a person loves you, he will not be able to help but be very kind to you, and naturally he will also want to give you all his best things.
This, in fact, is very applicable to both boys and girls.
Before, I knew a girl, when she was in love, she was really confused like a feeling, because of the lateness of falling in love, coupled with the attachment to the relationship of the first love, always thinking that it must go to the end, so in this relationship to pay a lot of things. It is this kind of effort that causes her to become more and more unable to get out, and tomorrow morning she has been unwilling and desperate, but she is still in self-persuasion again and again, back to the boy's side.
How sad is she?
After the final separation, when she began to review the relationship, she realized that they had been together for three years, the boy had spent less than 500 yuan for her, had not bought her a birthday present, had not sent a flower, and all the Valentine's Day he had found reasons to avoid perfectly.
She actually began to doubt herself, not knowing whether she was too bad or if he was too careless about herself. She spends a lot more money on boys.
She said: "I love him so much that I think about him everything, even if I buy a delicious thing online, I will subconsciously send him a copy." I was sad that the conditions in his family were not good, it was not easy to be a person, and I was reluctant to spend his money, I always thought that he understood my good intentions, but I didn't expect him to just take everything for granted. Probably I don't deserve it. ”
The reason why she had this kind of unworthy thought was because after the boy and her were separated, in fact, when they were still talking, the boy was already ambiguous with the girl, and later they were seamlessly inclined to the street. The boy prepared a confession for the girl, there were candles, balloons and flowers, and the picture looked romantic. She was suddenly very sad, that is, she felt that what she had desired so much was completely within the reach of others.
She has always believed that the boy's reluctance to spend money for himself is caused by the poor conditions in his family since he was a child, and he is more economical, after all, he is also very reluctant to himself, thinking that all his neglect is that his personality is more straight men can't think of so much.
She was wrong. He actually understands this, and he also knows that a girl likes the romance given by her beloved, and some things can't cost a few dollars at all, but it's just a heart, depending on whether she is willing to do it or not.
He didn't want to give her these things, but he just thought she didn't deserve it. This kind of unworthiness is not to say that she is really worthless, to be honest, she is a very good girl in any way, so she is naturally valuable.
It's just that if this value is transformed into feelings, it is not purely based on social value, but more refers to the value that two people have in the game of this relationship, and you have left in each other's hearts. In other words, the person thinks you deserve to give for yourself, and he will give.
If you had told him early on with action that he didn't need to do anything to get your liking and forgiveness, then no one would do anything more.
This is the case with the things of the world, people will only make more efforts for the things that they are still uncertain in their hearts, and then, because of their own efforts, they will continue to deepen this emotion in a subtle way.
If it is easy to get, there are simply not too many situations that are not cherished. Many times, instead of relying on the person's own character and morality to restrain this relationship, it is better to believe in human nature more, and follow human nature to make choices and corresponding efforts.
So, on this level, the truth can be heart-wrenching: men are reluctant to spend money on you, and the truest case scenario is that he thinks you're not worth it.
I know an older sister who has been married for 5 years now, she has been with her husband for 9 years and the marriage has always been very happy.
Once when we talked about this topic, this sister's advice to me as a person who came over was: I agree with your point of view, you can't blindly use money to measure whether the person in front of you loves you. But you can't really let him spend money on you at all, after all, spending money is the most intuitive way to express love. It's not that it costs a lot, how expensive things to buy, and do what you can. If a man is not willing to spend you any money, I think you should give up, not now, and even more so in the future. This can only show that you are not his best choice in his heart. There are almost no exceptions to this.
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