Children with low self-esteem will ruin their lives. If parents don't care, or just get angry at why the child always says "sad words", and do not realize that the child is actually encountering problems and lack of self-confidence, it is easy to just harshly blame the child without helping him. If you find that your child is inferior, what should parents do? Let the child do things by himself, and praise him if he succeeds, which will also improve the child's self-confidence.
Wen | Cheats Jun
Dear parents, what do you think is the most important thing in educating your children? Is it to develop good habits? Or do you want to do your studies well? Or develop a love of reading?
Most educators believe that developing a child's self-esteem is the most important thing. Self-esteem is self-confidence. A confident child, even in the face of adversity, has a positive motivation because he firmly believes that "I can do it".
And children with low self-esteem will ruin their lives. When I was a child, I flinched when I encountered difficulties in learning, because I felt that I couldn't do it; after graduating and joining the work, I wanted to escape in the face of challenges, and I didn't dare to fight for opportunities, which would lead to a very passive life.
Why does low self-esteem ruin a lifetime? It has to do with "self-fulfilling prophecy" in psychology
There is a "self-fulfilling prophecy" in psychology, which is a social psychological phenomenon proposed by the American sociologist Robert. It means that people will make a judgment in a preconceived way, and whether this judgment is correct or not, it will affect people's behavior to a greater or lesser extent.
In fact, it is simply "if you think you can do it, you can't do it; if you think you can't do it, you can't do it." ”
When a person feels that he can't do it, when he does this thing, he will assume in his heart that he can't do it well. So when I encountered a little setback, I took a detour, and when I encountered a little bump, I wanted to escape, and even if I had done it very smoothly, I was about to make my head and suddenly left it. In the end, this thing still did not work out.
Then subconsciously he will think, "Look, I just can't do it." Later, when he encountered the same challenge, the failure experience would make him feel that "I still can't do it well", so he will do it again and again.
But he didn't know that the biggest obstacle to doing this came from his inner demons.
And a confident person, even if he encounters difficulties, he will say in his heart, "I must take it down!" Therefore, when encountering a difficult point, he will actively think of various ways to solve it: look up books, consult others, change the angle or method, in short, use all the people and things that can be used. In the end, he succeeds, and then he will also secretly rejoice in his heart, "Look, I can do it well!" ”。
When the next problem comes, his previous successful experiences will inspire him and make him feel that he must be able to do it. As a result, he really did one thing after another.
From this, we can see how important self-confidence is to children, right?
How to see whether the child is confident or inferior?
Some details may not be easy to discover, but language is the expression of the heart, which can be clearly seen through a few words often spoken by children.
Negative words for myself: "I can't do it", "I can't do it well", "I'm a big idiot"
In fact, when the child says these words, he is hinting at the parents that "I am in difficulty and need help." If parents don't care, or just get angry at why the child always says "sad words", and do not realize that the child is actually encountering problems and lack of self-confidence, it is easy to just harshly blame the child without helping him.
Over time, the child's negative words about himself will slowly be engraved into his heart, even if he does not say it, but subconsciously he will think that he is not good.
Have a negative attitude toward things or other people's expectations: "It won't work out", "They're going to laugh at me", "Nobody wants to be friends with me"
A person with low self-esteem also has a negative attitude towards life. The same thing, confident people will explain from an optimistic point of view, while people with low self-esteem will always treat it negatively, attributing it to their own badness.
If you find that your child always can't see the bright side of things, it just means that your child lacks self-confidence.