01 Mature people, will not explain
Writer Liu Tong said this:
"In the past, I always explained and reasoned, but I was afraid, afraid of offending people, afraid of being destroyed by others, afraid of those small feelings that kept moving.
"Now I don't explain, I don't want to theorize, I'm still afraid, I'm afraid of wasting my time, I'm afraid I'm blurring my focus, I'm afraid I'll affect my appetite for tasting life in this world."
We live in this world, from birth to death, know countless people, experience ups and downs, some people work hard all their lives, stick to their love and faith, live out their own self, have their own personality, and never bother to explain their right and wrong to others.
And some people have been confused all their lives, have no opinion on what to do, have no goals of their own, no matter what they do, right or wrong, always busy explaining themselves to others.
For example, the most common thing you will hear is this:
Sorry, that's really not what I meant, I mean to say...
I'm sorry, the reason I'm doing this is for your own good, you can't indiscriminately wronged me...
I'm sorry, I just thought it would be good for everyone...
Explaining the past, in the end it became more and more unpleasant, and his meaning was not expressed clearly, but gave people a feeling of "there is no silver here for three hundred and two", why bother?
Truly mature people, will not explain themselves to others, people live a lifetime, what others say is not important, the important thing is to live a good life in their own way, enough.
02 People who understand you, don't have to explain
There is a saying in the "Book of Poetry" and "Wang Feng" collection "Huang Li": "Those who know me say that I am worried, and those who do not know me say what I want." ”
People who understand you don't have to explain, and people who don't understand you don't deserve to be explained.
Indeed it is. Two people with the same frequency, people with hearts and minds in everything, communication becomes particularly easy, whether it is sad or happy, without unnecessary language, one look is enough.
For a person who does not understand you, when you encounter a great sadness in life and cannot help yourself, the other party will still feel that you are making a big fuss. When you feel happy about the small happiness in life, the other party thinks that you are too naïve and naïve.
The joys and sorrows of the world are not the same, and in front of those who know you, everything you do is realistic. In front of people who don't understand you, everything you do is pretentiousness.
Mr. Yang Dai once wrote:
There is no need to let everyone know the real you, there is no need to keep telling others what kind of person you are, people who understand you will naturally understand, people who believe in you will naturally believe, if everyone understands you, what you have to be ordinary, the years are quiet for a moment, a chicken feather is daily, looking at the scenery in the distance, looking at the near is life.
Some explanations are meaningful only if they are given to those who understand, you say?
03 People with different levels do not need to be explained
Haruki Murakami said: "There is a sadness in the world that cannot shed tears, and this sorrow cannot be explained to people, and even if it is explained, people will not understand." ”
It's like standing on top of a mountain and telling him that there is a vast ocean ahead of you, and he is halfway up the mountain, and all he can see is the desolation.
There are levels of people and people. People of the same level, if both sides are easier to communicate, there is no need for explanation. People at different levels, because of different cognitions, get less than the point you say, or can't empathize, then the explanation becomes meaningless.
Hegel once said: "The mind is undistracted, and the pursuit of the cause will forget many troubles and find many happiness in the process of hard work, and the person who works silently is actually the wisest person." ”
What is the point of explanation? Can it change other people's perceptions? Can you turn the "black" that others understand into the "white" in your eyes? If you can't, why explain?
Truly mature people, instead of being busy explaining in the mouths of others, should be left alone in their own world. In this life, just 30,000 days, life is really precious, don't waste valuable time on non-stop explanations.
"Zhuangzi Qiushui" has a saying: "The well frog cannot speak to the sea, but to the void; the summer worm cannot speak to the ice, but to the time; the qushi cannot speak to the Taoist and be bound to the teaching." ”
In this world, no matter how good you are, there are always people who hate you, no matter how kind you are, there are always people who denigrate you, no matter how precious you are, there are always people who misunderstand you.
Remember, life doesn't need much explanation, never explain yourself to others, be yourself, it's enough!
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