The reason why a child is a child is that he is not self-conscious, and you cannot really establish his self-realization.
If you see a "self-conscious" child, it is mostly the result of long-term companionship, correct supervision and strict discipline of parents and teachers.
When I first became the class teacher, the most feared thing was that my parents told me: "My child is crying badly at home and does not want to come to school." ”
I was very anxious, and reflected with the teachers, whether the teaching method was wrong, whether the life care was not meticulous enough, whether the curriculum made the children not interested... In the end, I found that no matter how to change, there are always willing and unwilling to come, and there are only a few who do not want to come.
A prominent example is that one child is a day student who comes home once a week and doesn't cry, while another child comes home every day and cries a lot in the morning when he is separated from his mother.
Later, I understood that whether the child is willing to come or not is not mainly a problem of the school, but a problem of the parents. The family requirements are strict, and the child "consciously" comes to school; the family is too loose, the parents are not firm, and the child is reluctant to come.
Therefore, later, when new children enter school, I tell parents in advance that do not judge the quality of the school by whether the child is willing to come to school, whether or not to come to school is the problem of parents, and whether the school can learn well is the problem of the school. The child's willingness to come to school is not due to the school.
Modern education has an exciting slogan, that is, to give play to the subjectivity and consciousness of children, and change "I want to learn" to "I want to learn". It sounds smart and moving, but in fact it has never been realized. Why? Because it is not human, does not understand children.
The reason why a child is a child is that he is not self-conscious, and you cannot really establish his self-realization. The child is like a small animal, a sensual, emotional being, without reason and willpower.
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This does not mean to demean the child in the slightest.
Life is good, but this goodness is only a possibility, and it takes hard work in a long life to turn it into reality. Realizing the inherent goodness of man is the most sacred mission of a person's life. And a child, although he is essentially good, his bright nature is still wrapped in animal nature, and his performance in reality is nothing more than eating and drinking Lasa, crying and laughing.
Children can consciously eat, drink and have fun, but they cannot learn consciously. Because the manifestation of animal nature is instinctive and effortless, the performance of human nature requires a certain degree of rationality and willpower, and it takes a little pain to achieve it.
Therefore, the establishment of children's self-consciousness is a long and complex process, and if education is normal, it will not be at least until the age of fifteen or sixteen to be initially established.
Until then, children cannot learn consciously, and must have the company, supervision and discipline of adults.
Confucius's "ten and five and as far as learning", at the age of fifteen can be seen as the initial establishment of Confucius's self-consciousness, from which he can learn independently.
Mencius also skipped school when he was a teenager, but as soon as he entered the door when he returned home, he was stunned by his mother's thunderous action - "broken machine", and has been obediently studying ever since.
Yang Ming, a great Confucian who advocated the teaching of "conscience" and attached the greatest importance to the self-consciousness of inspiring people, was fond of playing chess when he was a teenager, and he did not change his teachings repeatedly, and one day when he was playing chess, his father was furious and grabbed the chess pieces and threw them into the river, Yang Ming was deeply shocked, and since then he has decided to read and wrote a poem to record this matter.
These sages could not be self-conscious when they were children, let alone ordinary people? Therefore, in ancient Chinese education, the word "strict" is the head.
The Book of Regents - Xueji yun "Where the way of learning, strict teachers are embarrassed, teachers are strict and then Daozun, Daozun then people know and respect learning", "Three Character Classics" cloud "cultivation is not taught, the father's fault; teaching is not strict, the teacher's laziness", folk have "strict teachers out of high disciples", "do not fight can not become a master".
Ancient private schools have precepts, and it is common to beat the palm of the hand, even if the children who have reached adolescence in their teens, when they enter school, Mr. Will also show the "Xia Chu Erwu" to "collect their prestige". Ancient education seems to give the impression of being harsh, less loving and caring, but it is not.
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In ancient times, parents and teachers had a deep love for their children, unlike today's people who hang "love for children" as a banner. What parent doesn't love their children? As long as a teacher's personality is still normal, how can he simply beat up children?
But they know very well that the child is ignorant, neither understands the importance of cultural learning, nor does he have strong willpower, and can only let him learn the cultural classics closely through the method of leniency and fierceness, the valuable life experience accumulated and handed down by human beings since ancient times, so that he gradually transitions from animal existence to cultural existence.
This is "culture", which uses civilization to eliminate ignorance. Otherwise, children will not be able to grow up, and can only indulge in animalistic eating, drinking and fun and cannot extricate themselves. Respecting the essence of human culture and the educational experience of ancestors, not transferred by the will of children, is the basic feature of traditional Chinese education.
On the contrary, modern Western education pays more attention to the will of the child. It believes that the child is a gift from God to mankind, that it is sacred, and that his every move, cry, and smile is the embodiment of his will.
The adult must respect the child and let the child develop freely according to his will, and all educational acts must be done through the child's will, otherwise it is interference with the child and blasphemy against God.
The most representative is Rousseau's famous quote: "Everything that God has created is good, and once it passes through the hands of man, it is broken." Montessori also said: "Children grow up on their own, and adults just don't interfere with him." They all praised and worshipped children infinitely, and Montessori even said: "Children are the fathers of adulthood".
Therefore, in modern Western education, the child's willingness has become a decisive factor, and whether the child likes it or not becomes the final basis and evaluation index of educational decision-making, and everything is transferred to the child's will.
In this case, of course, the long history and culture of mankind and the experience of the ancestors and masters are not important. Life is a priceless treasure, children are sacred, no one denies this, Chinese also said "man, the beauty of the five elements, the primate of all things."
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By nature, children are even more so.
The process of a person growing up is the process of gradually getting rid of animal nature to realize human nature, or rather the process of learning to control animal nature with human nature.
This is what Mencius called "the big body" and the "small body", from which the general body is the adult, and from the small body is the small person" . Mature adults are generally able to "proceed from their general body" – from the mind – while children can only "from their small bodies" – guided by the sensations of the body.
Children are innocent, lovely, but also naïve and ignorant, children are not the ideal state of life of human beings, the ideal state of life of human beings is to experience the trials and tribulations of countless lifetimes and still have a pure heart.
Modern Western education does not see this, it does not see the two levels of human nature, and it does not see the complex process of human nature unfolding and realizing in the destiny of life.
As a result of the "child worship" of modern Western education, its teaching design must be child-centered, but in fact it is not child-centered, but centered on the child's physiological needs and simple emotional responses - the so-called "will".
If the child likes it, he will teach it; if he does not like it, he will not teach it. Children like to teach this way, and they like to teach like that; children like to teach that way, just like that.
What do kids like best? Eat, drink, play, have fun. So I gave him food, drink and fun. If you don't like it, change the trick to make him like it, and pull it down when the trick is finished and don't like it.
Don't study the classics, just put them on the shelf; if you don't like the discipline of your parents and teachers, just let it go. Eating, drinking, playing, having fun – sounds like a joke, but it is the essence of modern education in the West.
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Don't you see many kindergartens eating more meals a day than that? Don't you see that many kindergartens seem to have entered the playground as soon as they enter? Don't you see that whether Chinese or Western, students' learning content is becoming more and more superficial and boring?
This kind of so-called "child-centered" education, if it is done to the extreme, only food, drink and fun are left, and education is completely abolished. But it has many beautiful names, "respect", "freedom", "individuality", "democracy", "subject", "self-consciousness"...
Because of the overemphasis on the "self-consciousness" of children, modern Western education has gradually excluded the coercive element of education, and punishment is regarded as a violation of children and is explicitly prohibited in many countries.
Only the spontaneous behaviour of the child is considered educational, and everything is carried out through the "conscious" action of the child.
But the child is essentially a sensual emotional being, where does he have so much self-consciousness and self-control? So educators have to lower their requirements to hold their children in the hands of others, or to engage in chattering preaching.
Don't we see that many parents are helpless to their children's lazy beds, not eating, unreasonable trouble, and the family is like a war all day long? Aren't there many parents who have broken their mouths by reasoning with their children, but the children still don't move?
Is education so difficult? Is it normal for an adult to discipline even a child of a few years old?
In fact, this is all self-proclaimed enlightened and progressive modern parents who are asking for their own hardships. Why is education so difficult? Where is a child so vulnerable? A few words of training have caused "psychological depression"? How many strokes of the hand to cast a "psychological shadow"? This is too sensitive and too small to look down on children. In fact, the more careful you are, the more worried your child is. The cleaner and cleaner you are, the brighter the child.
The child has no reason, and when his behavior exceeds the norm, he will never be rational if no one points it out to him and corrects it. The child is weak-willed, and when he encounters difficulties and wants to retreat, if no one encourages him or forces him to do it, he will always be weak-willed.
The child needs proper coercion, which is not an oppression of him, but a time when he is weak-willed to help him overcome difficulties and gain a high level of experience, so that he becomes stronger.
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If a child grows up in an environment without any compulsion, he will never grow up, and although he has grown up, his mind must still be at the level of a child, and he will not be able to withstand any setbacks.
Therefore, don't emphasize the child's "self-consciousness" so much, the word "self-consciousness" is too heavy for the child, and his small body and mind cannot bear it!
As long as you train at the right time, the child will feel relaxed because you train him! If you keep pretending not to be able to do it, just preaching, confrontation, and cold war, then the child will really be hurt and leave a huge psychological shadow!
Therefore, today's parents and teachers, don't expect their children's "self-realization" anymore, that is an unrealistic fantasy. If you see a "self-conscious" child, it is mostly the result of long-term companionship, correct supervision and strict discipline of parents and teachers.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, the child is like this, he needs the discipline of adults, he must be under the supervision of adults to grow. The child is the child, the adult is the adult, the adult naturally has the right to discipline the child, as long as he has a normal personality, he has this ability.
"If you don't teach, the father is at fault; if you don't teach strictly, if you are lazy," you can teach as you want, and don't care about so many popular words and slogans.