Children are disobedient and always work against themselves, which makes many parents have a headache.
Before answering this question, first of all, parents first ask themselves, do you want to have an obedient child or a disobedient child?
Perhaps this question makes many parents inexplicable, who does not want their children to obey?
Okay, first fulfill this wish of the parents, now you can imagine that your children are very obedient, you say whatever you say, you do whatever you want. It's time for the baby to eat, and the baby will come to eat right away. It's time for your baby to go to school, and your child will go to school right away. It's time for your baby to wash his hands, and your child is going to wash his hands right away. Babies can't go out and play, and kids can't go out and play right away. The baby is not allowed to cry, and the child will not cry immediately. It's time to go to the bathroom, and you don't say let him go. It's time to eat, he won't come to eat if you don't come to eat...
Did you feel that something was wrong?
Yes, this state of affairs is terrible. He has no free thoughts, no independent will, is this still your child full of vitality and full of infinite possibilities? He is a puppet who obeys your orders, obeys orders, obeys orders, and is a machine with no mind and soul, only that others give him instructions, and then follow the instructions according to the operation.
I don't know if parents are willing to raise or oppress their children into such a non-committal, lifeless "obedient" machine!
Standing only cautious, Anderwell husband. It is precisely because the child's "disobedience" just shows that the child has his own independent thoughts and will, and his future has unlimited possibilities.
His fate does not need and cannot be manipulated and controlled by others, all he needs to obey is the true voice from within him.
So first, stop teaching your child to be "obedient," but encourage him to disagree.
China's children are worn out by the so-called obedience education and will, resulting in many children who dare not and cannot make different voices, only know that only promises, people are cloudy, and there is no innovation. Discuss issues openly and honestly with your children, listen carefully to their opinions and voices, and let them have the courage to express themselves and show themselves.
Second, don't use negative words, use positive language.
Do an experiment and ask parents not to imagine a white bear in their minds now.
Folks, what was the first thing that came to your mind just now? By the way, everyone must be thinking of a white bear. This is a psychological experiment at Harvard University called the "white bear effect." It tells us that if you express a meaning in a negative statement, it will not make people deny the meaning, but it will make the meaning more reinforcing.
Therefore, do not try to educate children in a negative way, but use the method of affirmation and confirmation to guide. For criticism and negation point to past mistakes, while affirmative affirmation points to future progress. Everyone will instinctively reject criticism, but will accept affirmation. So, tell your child what to do with positive confirmation.
We should tell our child what to do directly, not what not to do. If you tell the child not to fall, he will first think of falling, so that it is subconsciously easier to fall; if you say do not drag and rub, the child will first think of rubbing, thus more procrastination.
If we speak affirmative language, tell the child exactly what to do. For example, you have to be careful to walk steadily, we should study, we should get up, we should speed up, we should concentrate, etc., the effect will be much better.
Third, let the child have the right to make his own choices. The child is an independent individual, he has his own thoughts. We must remove the words of command and respect the wishes of the child. The tone of the command not only does not allow the child to listen to the parents, but also easily causes the child's rebellious psychology. We need to give the child more options, analyze the pros and cons of various options for him, and let the child decide from the Lord, so that the child will feel that they are respected, and it is naturally easier to agree with you. If you have confusion or feelings in the parent-child relationship, you are welcome to leave a message and we will communicate together. If the above content is helpful to you, you are welcome to forward it to a friend who loves learning as much as you, and may be able to help others.
Accumulate steps and go thousands of miles. Change, from now on. This is Yu Ying Fang, let us cultivate excellent children together and create a happy family.