Wen | condensed mother's understanding
A while ago, the children were at home, and when there was nothing to play in the community, the parents did not have time to accompany, did not expect that there were some moths on the pocket money.
A second-grade boy and a first-grade boy often play together, and the second-grade boy has more eyes and always asks the first-grade boy to share 5 yuan or 10 yuan, and everyone buys some small snacks to eat together.
At first, the first-grade boys were very happy, spent a little money to make friends, and the investment was not high. But soon he was dumbfounded, turning from happy to afraid.
It turned out that suddenly one day, the second-grade boy's appetite became bigger, he opened his mouth to ask for 100 yuan, and said very seriously, "Don't tell your parents, otherwise you will look good." The first-grade boy was terrified, knew that 100 yuan was not a small amount, did not dare to tell his parents, secretly found his own pressure money, gave it to the second-grade boy, and used the money to buy Ultraman cards.
After all, the child is young, subjected to such intimidation, the heart is also extremely uncomfortable, go home look panicked, flash his words, and tell the truth under the parents' questioning.
Parents are very angry, just in the group to disclose this matter, many parents also said that children often talk about money when they go home, some ask for money, some take the initiative to give money to others, and take the money while walking and tearing, the attitude towards money is too casual.
Why is there such a phenomenon, it is all the disaster caused by "pocket money". Some children have a lot of pocket money, some children do not have pocket money, the "economic base" is a big gap, if the child does not have the correct concept of money, it will deviate from the right track.
There is pocket money to spend money, there is no pocket money to ask for money, the child has pocket money is good, or is it not good? Some people say that there is a clear difference when you reach adulthood, but in fact, you don't have to wait for adulthood, the gap is obvious when you are a child.
Children who grow up without pocket money
Fu Seoul said in a program that when he was a child, his family was not well off and he did not have pocket money. Seeing that the neighbor's grandfather always put money on the table, she had the idea of stealing money. Once I wanted to buy ice cream, I actually stole one.
Fortunately, the neighbor's grandfather was reasonable, knew the child's mind better, did not reprimand and scold, and advised her to be a good person, so she did not continue to do stupid things.
Children who do not have pocket money have a very strong sense of deprivation. Seeing that others have money and can buy things, but they don't, I feel wronged in my heart. Some children will steal other people's money like Fu Seoul, and some children will be like the second-grade boys at the beginning, deceiving the small and reaching out to others for money.
If these two states are not stopped in time, the child will succeed repeatedly, and the boldness will grow larger and deeper, and the more slippery and deeper. The second-grade boy's direct upgrade from 5 or 10 to 100 is a clear example.
I know that there is a question "What is the experience of growing up without pocket money?" The common feelings of the respondents are "I was very inferior when I was a child", and "I have a vengeful consumption when I grow up".
A high praise replied, claiming to be very polarized. On the one hand, I am very careful about money, and I always calculate things for a long time, and it is very painful to spend money. On the other hand, due to the suppression of the desire to dominate money, there is a strong desire to shop, and it has become a moonlight family, and even has a mild worship of gold.
A moment of impulsiveness spent a lot of money, and then regretted the act of spending money, every time you have to spend money torture, it is difficult to have a happy time, live too tired.
Some family members believe that restricting children's spending will make children develop the habit of saving, on the contrary, it will lead to children's hearts being hurt and irrational consumption.
Children who grow up with pocket money
Professor Chu Yin said that we must give our children pocket money, and children buy things with their own pocket money and make their own decisions. Because any choice means loss, you can control your desires. Life is full of mathematics and improves your ability to solve mathematical application problems. At the same time, it can also improve social skills.
A friend in Guangdong, when his daughter was 3 years old, saw everything and wanted to buy it, he gave her 1 yuan a day and let her freely dispose of it. In the beginning, the child had to spend 1 yuan a day.
Later, the child slowly and secretly spends half of the money, saves the other half, saves to a certain extent, and buys a more expensive thing. Children no longer see what to spend money indiscriminately, and they also learn to plan.
Sun Luhong mentioned in "Mathematics Taught by His Mother" that he used money to learn mathematics when he was a child, buying daily necessities to count money, taking the bus to buy tickets to check and find money, these life details cultivated his mathematical ability that he was proud of.
A friend said that if there is no pocket money, you can only play with children who have the same experience as yourself, and you can't afford to interact with pocket money, which affects the pattern.
From the actual situation, as long as the education is successful, children with pocket money will really be like Professor Chu Yin said, they will not spend money indiscriminately, improve their mathematical skills, and have a wider social circle.
So, children with pocket money are happy, not only mentally healthy, but also behave appropriately.
Give your child pocket money, and be sure to teach your child to treat money correctly
From the above comparative analysis, it is very necessary to give children pocket money, but we must pay attention to good guidance to avoid too casual behavior for money.
First, tell your child how the money came from
Money is not blown by the wind, but by the hard work of parents. Tell your child to earn money, he may feel very vague, you can take your child to his own work unit, experience a day in his own post, feel the busyness, complexity and hardship.
And tell the child how much money can be earned on this day, let the child match the number of working hours, work types and money to form a specific concept, and money will become no longer abstract.
Children understand that money is not easy to come by, they will cherish it more, and will not lose, damage, or give affection at will.
Second, recognize the value of money
Money is not an ordinary piece of paper, nor is it a simple metal disc, but a currency with value. The reason why children spend money indiscriminately is that they don't know how valuable it is.
Connect specific things with the number of money, and children can understand it intuitively. How many pounds can I buy for 10 yuan to buy a vegetable? How many kinds of different kinds of dishes can I buy for each pound? How many pounds can I buy each of the 5 kinds of vegetables? 10 yuan to buy different goods, how much can you buy? The child forms a correspondence between numbers and quantities in his mind.
The dishes bought for 10 yuan can be eaten by the whole family for several meals (we buy more than 3 pounds of spinach, leeks, turnips, etc. for 9.9 here, and indeed eat several meals), but buy ultraman cards but can't buy a few. With such a differentiated comparison, the child can measure what is more valuable to buy.
Finally, distribute the money wisely
Children with pocket money have the right to dominate, will be more confident, more autonomous, but must let children learn how to correctly dominate, not to guard the scroungers, nor to be a chopper.
Distinguish which items need to be purchased with pocket money. Children need a lot of items, from clothes, shoes, transportation, small to stationery, books, snacks, toys, etc., to delineate the scope, such as large pieces to buy by parents, stationery, snacks, toys, gifts for classmates and so on to buy.
Make a list of items that cannot be purchased. Worried about the child buying something inappropriate, it is necessary to let the child have a sense of boundaries, make a specific list of prohibited purchases, and let the child clarify that some items are harmful and unhelpful, and cannot be bought. For example, junk food, destructive toys, game recharge, and so on.
Keep a record of your purchases. In this way, the child can know how much money he originally had, how much money he spent, how much money he had left, so that he could know what he was going to do and plan for the next step of purchasing items.
Be financially conscious. In "Puppy Money Money", Gia achieved financial freedom at the age of 12 because she could manage money. Divide the money into 3 parts, 10% pocket money, 40% Dream Fund, and 50% goose farming. Children usually have money to spend, they can also buy their favorite goods, and they can save more money to do more things.
epilogue
Parents are educated differently, resulting in some children having pocket money and some children not. With such polarization, children are prone to incongruity in their interactions. In particular, if you do not pay attention to money education, children's behavior will not be guided and free to play, and there will be harm.
From the analysis point of view, children have pocket money is more conducive to healthy growth, teach children to manage pocket money correctly, you can try the 4 methods mentioned in the text, I hope to help parents.
I'm @Gelma Goku
Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience
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