There is practice, there is companionship, there is strength
Hailan Happy Home 2022 46th practice story
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Early in the morning, I was ready to send Xiaobao to school.
The husband weakly asked: "What do you eat at home, slept late last night, or eat at home today?" ”
My anger was hooked at once, and I was busy with Xiaobao on the weekend, and my husband was at home, but the refrigerator was empty now.
I suppressed my anger with a dark face and said: I have risen, so let's go to school and eat!
"Really," I thought indignantly, "which planet are you from?" Is there anything in the house that you don't know? I've been busy these two days, so you can't buy some food..."
I felt that the entire chest cavity and abdominal cavity were very congested.
After sending Xiaobao to school, I fell into the mood and did not want to go home, and all kinds of complaining voices in my head: my own children, my own affairs, you never paid attention to it, let me carry it alone.
I am particularly aggrieved.
Thinking of the previous relatives from the hometown to come to the house, the itinerary and accommodation were properly arranged by the husband.
Seeing the family's affirmation, gratitude, and appreciation for my husband, the part of my inner sense of worthlessness was activated, and various judgments and contempts for my husband were launched.
When the family's affairs are done well, no one affirms you, praises you, appreciates you, you behave outside, I am tired and tired and busy taking care of the family, no one can see it, no one affirms me...
The more I thought about it, the more angry I became, so I gritted my teeth and bought a lot of vegetables and fruits at the market, and bought breakfast by the way.
After arriving home, my husband greeted me warmly: "You bought so many dishes!" ”
I ignored him and put my things in my hand at the door.
My husband looked at me with a wrong face and silently went to the kitchen.
I was still caught up in anger and grievances, didn't want to see my husband, and went straight into the bedroom.
Husband: "Wife, let's eat breakfast!" ”
I didn't want to respond to him, no squeak.
My husband came to me in the bedroom, "Breakfast is good, let's eat it first!" ”
I didn't look at my husband and came out of the bedroom sideways
My husband went to the study and didn't eat.
I managed to bring my husband into the emotional yellow light zone.
In the restaurant, I saw my husband at the table frying eggs and baked potato chips for me, pouring me a cup of warm boiling water, and making a cup of green tea, he made himself black tea, cut apples, and laid out a plate of buns.
Instantly, I was a little overwhelmed.
As you eat, you feel your body becoming unobstructed and soft.
I went back to the Green Light District and started creating.
I gently shouted, "My husband came over to eat the buns, the buns are delicious."
The husband immediately responded, "Okay," and went from the study to the dining room.
My husband sat down to eat the bun, and I looked at him tenderly.
I said ,"Baked potatoes are delicious" and fed my husband two slices.
The relationship is as good as ever.
In hindsight, review the whole thing:
1, what my husband attracted to me at the beginning was enthusiasm and righteousness, efficient and responsible, but now it has become a card point of the relationship.
2, he is also the same intimate and thoughtful to me to my children, but everything he does to us, I think it is taken for granted and taken for granted.
3, I am jealous of his family's affirmation, appreciation and praise for him, I also look forward to being affirmed and appreciated.
4, I also did not and Yan Yuese softly whispered clearly to tell my husband to buy vegetables, I was expecting him to consciously and intimately do things, expectations are unreasonable.
5, the husband is not good at shopping. I remember when my son was born, he went to Beijing on a business trip to buy three sets of clothes made in Foshan for his son, we were in Shenzhen, the streets were made in Foshan, I made fun of it, and since then he has not bought clothes for anyone, including himself.
6, I am over-responsible, the whole family eats and drinks Lasa is my control, my husband is also happy to let me manage, I am happy that he does not control.
Occasionally, the refrigerator at home is empty, he will also say that he does not need to buy something, my instinctive reaction is to forget it, I go to buy it, tell him in detail that it is very troublesome, and the purchase may not meet my requirements.
What drives me to do so is an inherent lack of security and trust.
In this way, I spent 24 years in ignorance and unconsciousness.
Today I suddenly lost my temper, which made my husband confused, thinking that I was short of money, and transferred 5,000 yuan to me after breakfast.
When I sort out my inner world, the whole person returns to peace.
The body begins to relax and soften.
Gain: All negative emotions come to grow me.
I am half of the sky of the whole family, eating and drinking Lazara fragments, raising children all the almighty, I am taking on and working hard, seeing the lonely and wronged self, affirming myself, embracing myself, and accompanying myself.
There is no one else out there, and all the negative emotions are messengers that lead us back to ourselves, to explore ourselves, to understand ourselves, to affirm ourselves, to accept ourselves.
Action Plan:
1. Constantly heal the worthless part of yourself, see yourself, affirm yourself, and appreciate yourself.
2, no longer over-undertake, give the husband the space to grow shopping ability, clear expression, see and encourage him to shop.
Author:Zhang Ying (Hailan Happy Family Practice Life)
Editor: Wang Li