Brave, my son didn't cry when he drew his venous blood (share 5 kinds of crying)

"A lot of times a child's crying is not pain, but fear and fear.

——Liu Fengfei

The son is two years old, and the mother discussed and decided to send his son to the nursery - half daycare, to add some richness to the son's life. Before entering the kindergarten, the nursery school needs to complete a physical examination, one of which is a blood test, not finger blood but venous blood. At the thought of venous blood, I guess my son must be struggling and crying when he arrives. But this time I was amazed that he didn't cry, and a two-year-old baby who drew blood from his veins didn't cry.

Vaccinations and venous blood draws did not cry, what happened in the middle, and share it with everyone. It may be that the preparation of me and my mother and the sense of participation for the baby has played a role in soothing and alleviating fear, or it may be that it is just a convergence of opportunities and coincidences, so there is no crying.

Two weeks ago, I took my son to the kindergarten for physical examination and drew venous blood, and the baby did not cry the whole time. The preparation of this blood draw and the establishment of the baby's sense of involvement are based on the successful experience of the most recent vaccination attempt.

Let's start with the process of vaccination.

Experience with vaccinations

At that time, the vaccination had such a preparatory process, mainly dialogue. Son's one-word conversation, to be honest at the beginning, I wasn't sure if he could get what I meant.

father

Shall we go to the vaccine tomorrow?

Not good

treasure

father

You don't get a cold after getting vaccinated, right?

Right

treasure

father

Vaccination will be a little painful, oh, are you afraid?

fear

treasure

ask

But it's not particularly painful, you feel it, if it's not very painful, we'll put up with it, if it's very painful, we'll cry.

Good

treasure

A conversation, it seemed he could understand.

Before going out, when I got to the hospital, I repeated the above conversation.

(Bedding)

Me: "You won't get a cold with the vaccine, right?" ”

Son: "Yes"

Me: "It hurts a little bit to get vaccinated, are you afraid?" ”

Son: "Afraid"

Me: "But it's not particularly painful, you feel it, if it's not very painful, we'll put up with it, if it's very painful, we'll cry." ”

Son: "Good"

Me: "We're manly, it's not particularly painful, we don't cry, right?" ”

Son: "Yes"

(Sense of engagement)

Me: "Take the kaka, this kaka, you give it to the doctor, okay?" ”

Son: "Good"

Me: "Then we're going to talk to the doctor, what are we going to do?" ”

Son: "Vaccinations"

Me: "Okay, do you remember to give Dr. Kaka and tell the doctor we're going to get vaccinated?" ”

Son: "Good"

The conversation continues, adding some topics for kids to engage.

father

Take the good kaka, this kaka, you give it to the doctor, okay?

Good

treasure

father

And then we're going to say to the doctor, what are we going to do?

Vaccinations

treasure

father

Okay, do you remember to give Dr. Kaka and tell the doctor we're going to get the vaccine?

Good

treasure

Got to the place where the vaccine was given

(Sense of engagement)

Me: "Baby, give the card to the doctor." ”

He gave the card to the doctor

Me: "Baby, tell the doctor, what are we going to do?" ”

Son: "Vaccinations"

The doctor began to prepare

(Bedding)

Me: "It's time for vaccination, do you feel it, if it's not very painful, let's put up with it, if it's very painful, we'll cry okay?" ”

Son: "Good"

Me: "Mom is holding and protecting the baby, right?" ”

Son: "Yes"

Me: "We're manly, it's not particularly painful, we don't cry, right?" ”

Son: "Yes"

The doctor stabbed down, really did not cry, and then the doctor was very surprised and praised him.

He also seemed to be proud to say: "The baby did not cry." ”

Blood from the veins is drawn

Me: "Tomorrow we're going to go to the blood test, okay?" ”

Son: "Not good"

Me: "Do you want to go to daycare?" ”

Son: "Think"

Me: "Is it fun to be a nursery?" ”

Son: "Fun"

Me: "However, to go to nursery we need to do a test first to draw blood, okay?" ”

Son: "Good"

Me: "It hurts to draw blood. ”

Son: "Baby is afraid"

Me: "Hmmm, it hurts to draw blood a little bit more than to get vaccinated." ”

No reply

Me: "When the time comes, the baby will feel it, and if it hurts, we will cry out, okay?" ”

Son: "Good"

When I got to the hospital, I repeated it

I repeated it again before waiting in line to draw blood, but there were two children in front, the first child cried, the second child did not cry, and we were the third.

The first finished conversation

Me: "You see it still hurts a little, this little brother is crying, isn't it?" ”

Son: "Yes"

Me: "Does the baby cry?" ”

Son: "Yes"

The second hits the conversation

Me: "This little brother didn't cry, did he?" ”

Son: "Yes"

Me: "It doesn't seem particularly painful, does it?" ”

Son: "Yes"

Me: "Baby, if it doesn't hurt so much, we don't cry, okay?" ”

Son: "Good"

To the blood draw table

Me: "Mom holds the baby, does the dad protect the baby?" ”

Son: "Good"

Me: "The mother holds the baby, the baby is not afraid." ”

Son: "Yes"

Me: "Then we start to draw blood, don't move your hands, otherwise it will hurt more." ”

No reply

You can see some nervousness, because the rubber belt has begun to be bundled.

Me: "Mom holds baby safely, not dangerously"

After this smoking, the whole time the mother held it was also a very critical point, and did not force him to reach out and so on, all of which were done according to him.

However, sticking cotton is a bit unhappy

So my mother said: This must be pressed or it will bleed,

Son: "Don't don't"

(Sense of engagement)

Mom continued, "Baby, press yourself." ”

KO, done, he pressed it himself

I didn't cry the whole time, I was surprised.

It is important to keep your child from crying and ease your child's fear of things, but also to involve him.

Five reasons to cry

It is common for children to cry, but the reasons for each time children cry are different. Each cry may convey a different message, and if it can be discerned, I believe that it can be handled easily, at least with a good idea.

With the baby for so long, I think it can be divided into 5 categories of crying reasons.

1. Physiological needs crying

From the time the baby is born, he can't speak, and all the needs can only be expressed by crying. Hungry, thirsty, peeing, sick... They can only be conveyed by crying. At this time, we need to respond quickly to his physiological needs, meet his needs and give him a sense of security.

These parenting books I have read I think are still quite good, helped me solve a lot of problems with babies.

2. Order is maintained

Every child has an inner order of his own, and it may be that we cannot understand these orders at all, but it really exists in the heart of the child.

Why do toy cars have to be placed in the designated position?

Why are some things that the mother is assigned to do?

Why do some things have to be done in order?

These may be the child's inner order at work, and if we can maintain his order, his crying will stop.

I've been writing sensitive books since my son was born, but I'm only a third done now. There are several books on the market about children's sensitive periods, I think it is very good, interested in reading, more understanding of children.

3. Separation anxiety and crying

Separation anxiety is the crying caused by the uneasiness generated by the separation of children from their loved ones, especially from their mothers.

Isn't not separation the best answer to separation anxiety? Perhaps, but how can it never be separated?

You can try to gradually stretch from a brief separation

The farewell ceremony, as far as possible, fixes the farewell ceremony and time at the beginning to form a habit

Don't leave secretly, generously tell you to leave, don't let your disappearance be uncertain (inevitably cry)

Keep your promise, say when you come back, or go to buy toys and retail back, you must remember to buy

Separation anxiety is especially obvious when going to kindergarten, when crying is 60% separation anxiety, 20% is the fear of unknown circumstances, and there are others. (Percentages are not necessarily accurate just to express a proportion of my cognition.) ）

4, fear of crying

There are also many cases where children cry out of fear, which may be unknown or may be an atmosphere of tension, depression, etc. in the environment.

For example, entering the hospital seems to have such an atmosphere. Seeing the big white is more nervous for the children, the strange environment, the strange people, some strange movements (checks) on me, and there are all kinds of children's cries next to me.

Therefore, it is particularly important to constantly lay the groundwork and give a sense of security, as much as possible to ease the emotions, and then proceed, forcing will make the crying more serious. (Easier said than done)

If the injection is painful, it is said to be painful. If we say that the injection is not painful, the actual child will perceive that you are lying, and the trust between each other will gradually disappear.

When you go to the nursery, most of them are afraid of the environment, you can take your children to the nursery to play before entering the kindergarten, familiar with the environment, familiar with the teacher.

It is also good to take the child to see the picture book, but it is still not enough to explain the emotions of fear, and you need to choose a picture book for the scene. After all, the perception of the emotion of fear at this time is not very understandable.

For example, if you see a doctor, you will choose to see a doctor's picture book.

When you go to kindergarten, you choose a picture book for kindergarten.

In order to make her son transition to kindergarten to separate anxiety and fear, the mother often took the nursery to play, and borrowed 10 picture books for kindergarten. (A bit rolled up)

5, get the demand crying

Crying wants toys, crying wants to try something particularly dangerous, and at this time, if we don't allow it, he will use crying to fight against our needs.

I think this is the only crying behavior that can be moderately laissez-faire, let it roll around and give him a cool zone, and then we can be kind and firm.

Other crying behaviorS I think we need to respond to him in a timely manner.

I think that parenting is not absolute, each individual is an independent existence with its own unique personality and characteristics, and the living environment is very different, so just sharing some of the things I have experienced and the cognition I feel does not represent any parenting principles.

Output is the best input

I am Feng Fei, a children's programming teacher, won the "2020 International Artificial Intelligence Education Industry Outstanding Contributor Award", wrote several books "Easy to play Scratch programming", "Python is really fun to teach children to learn programming"... He is also the father of a 2-year-old baby.

Love to read and share, set up a Flag to read and share 20 educational, learning, thinking books and children's books, I hope that the sharing of each book is valuable.

Since we are currently challenging more difficult work projects and spending a lot of time on our work, we can only update the book sharing from time to time, and I hope to forgive you!

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