We have all encountered such a situation, the child verbally promised to be good, but always betrayed him in action. Why do children always "say it but can't do it"? In our experience, there are three main reasons:
First, the brain is immature and has poor self-control
Elementary school students' motor and other functional development is more mature, while the frontal lobe, limbic system and other brain regions are still developing continuously, for example, the frontal lobe is mainly responsible for attention and self-control, his development has to continue until puberty, so the primary school students' attention maintenance time is shorter, easy to be distracted, and self-control ability is weak. He said he wanted to study hard, but he might be attracted to fun things and switched to playing. Therefore, the child "said that he can't do it", it may be that the child's brain is still developing, which is a very objective factor, and we need to help the child improve his self-control.
Second, the task is difficult and there is no way to start
A mother said angrily: "How many times have I told you that you can finish this set of rolls in 1 hour, but you see, how much have you done now?" The child muttered, "I really can't do it!" ”
Sometimes, because the task is difficult, when we actually do it, we find that there are many difficulties, and we will slack off or even give up not doing it. In view of this situation, parents are best to decompose the task with the child, for example, we use 5 minutes to complete the 2 multiple choice questions first, and guide the child to complete the task step by step.
Third, the mouth is perfunctory, but in fact it is confrontation
Some children "say that they can't do it" because the child uses part of the energy to fight with the parents, the mouth may be perfunctory, but the body is very honest, his behavior tells you that he actually does not want to identify with you, so he will ghost god to do these behaviors, so parents do not look at what the child promised you, to see what he did, you can know the child's attitude towards you.
There is a parent outside to the child to register a tutoring class, there are two teachers to choose, a male teacher in class humorous and funny, there is a young female teacher, this parent does not like this female teacher, just want the child to go to this male teacher's class, think he has experience, and discuss with the child, the child ostensibly promised to go to class, but he actually likes the female teacher in his heart, so he promised his mother to go to the male teacher's class, but when he goes to class, he is delayed from coming out of the house. So the child is using his behavior to tell his mother, "I don't want to go to this class." It's not that he's disobedient and uncooperative, but that he's expressing his feelings with actions.
