As people's fertility continues to decline, the children at home are getting fewer and fewer, newborns naturally become the treasure in the palm of family members' hands, but there is such a type of child "nest horizontal, outside instigation" so that parents feel very headaches, let the children develop everything dependent on their parents, no autonomy, and at home is very domineering, once they go outside, they are the same as a different person, do not talk to people outside, even if there are other children outside bullying him, he does not care about the appearance, playing with himself.
Xiao Bo is such a child, a series of problems of the child make parents feel very anxious, do not know how to guide the education of good children, from a young boy is the only child in the family, since Xiao Bo was born, everyone feels very happy, there are no other children in the family, grandparents are also at home there is nothing to do, so everyone puts the focus on taking care of the child.
Until the child is about 3 weeks, as long as Xiao Bo has requirements for mother and grandma will be unconditionally responsive, sometimes Xiao Bo is unreasonable, wants a toy, the mother and grandma did not send in time, Xiao Bo will lose his temper, grandma and mother feel that the child is still small, just rely on him, coax him to be happy, they take care of Xiao Bo very well.
Dad is also very happy to see Xiao Bo's growth, Dad came home from work and played with his mobile phone and did what he wanted to do, everyone felt that Dad worked hard all day, and he would not let Dad take care of the children when he came home from work. As the child grows up a little, mom and dad will take the child to the park to play, once the parents took Xiao Bo to the park to play the slide, the children are lined up to play the slide, suddenly a little friend is anxious to play you push me to squeeze Xiao Bo to the side, at this time Xiao Bo cried, mom and dad comforted Xiao Bo there is nothing to do, you can continue to play, but Xiao Bo has to be held home by the mother, do not play with the children, the father no matter what he says, he ignores the father, the mother is helpless to take the little Bo home.
For these situations that appear in children, it is a typical "nest horizontal, outside instigation", there are many such children will encounter such problems, how is such a personality formed, in fact, the phenomenon of children "nest horizontal, outside instigation", and family education has a lot to do with.
Among the many family education influencing factors, "father's non-participation" has become the top priority, in fact, dad as an important part of the family, has a great impact on children, especially for boys, dad is like a mirror, from living habits to style of behavior are affecting children all the time.
In the case of Xiao Bo saw his father working home and did nothing, only his mother and grandmother were busy taking care of Xiao Bo and his father's life in the family, the child's imitation ability was particularly strong, Xiao Bo would mistakenly think that the man should be taken care of, at home arbitrary and unreasonable, enough to see that the impact of the father's words and deeds on the child in a family is imperceptible.
Don't underestimate the impact of Dad's three actions
First of all, the father should lead by example, the united front between the family, as a part of the family, for example, do not watch TV before going to bed, you must firmly implement, when the child cries at the mother before going to bed, the father does not ignore it, and the mother must be unified to implement, so that the child knows what can be done and what cannot be done. There is also a father back home from work can help the family to do some housework, even if the work is very tired, back home can do some easy things, such as taking out the garbage, sweeping the floor, etc., so that children can also participate in the family, together to complete the work in the family, so that children continue to understand that the family needs everyone to maintain.
Secondly, the father should establish rules at home, let the child have a sense of boundary, learn to be grateful, when the child shouts at the grandmother and the mother, the father should come forward to educate the child, clearly tell the child that such behavior is wrong, such behavior can not be done, to learn to respect others, when the mother to the child to sort out the toys to tell the child to thank the mother to help sort out the toy, when there is a problem in communication between adults, do not stop arguing in front of the child, adults learn to communicate, children will learn to communicate.
In addition, fathers should have time to accompany their children, understand their children's needs, and learn to express themselves. In the father's spare time to accompany the child's activities, see the outside people, you can look at the outside scenery, play outdoors with the child, encounter problems when playing outside, guide not to be afraid, bravely face, say your thoughts, and be a man. In this way, the unfamiliar environment outside is used to it, and this phenomenon of "nesting horizontally and instigating outside" will basically not exist. Parents are the child's guide, the father's performance of the child is in the eyes, every child is the treasure of the family, the general father as the pillar of the family, the main source of economic expenses, the impact on the child is crucial, the child sees the father's unique side, excellent performance, and then the child imitates the father to become a useful talent.