Psychologists point out: if you like each other, the other party will like you, very accurate!
1
In 1982, the Department of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin in the United States did such an experiment:
The experimenters let the two teams of equal level A and B play bowling matches, which lasted for three days.
On the first day, the results of the two teams were comparable. After the game, the coach walked over to team A and said, "You guys are great, you've achieved good results, keep up the good work!" ”
As for the members of the B team, the coach began to reprimand: "How did you play so badly, how do I usually teach you all forgotten?" ”
In the face of coaches with different attitudes, the players of the first team were greatly encouraged, and in the subsequent matches they played better and better, while the players of the second team felt very impatient and played worse and worse.
Three days later, every member of team A had a good relationship with the coach, and none of the team B expressed a favorable feeling for the coach.
It was clear that Team A ended up winning the game.
This psychological experiment conveys to people a psychological law: things and requests made to people they like or are close to will be more easily accepted and less likely to be rejected.
Later, people extended this truth to interpersonal communication, psychology believes that in interpersonal communication, if you want to be welcomed by people, or support and agree with your views or behaviors, it is not enough to just make good suggestions, you must make people like you.
Psychologists call this phenomenon "mutual pleasure mechanism", also known as "reciprocal attraction rate", colloquially speaking, "two feelings of mutual pleasure", in interpersonal communication, this is a very natural psychological law.
2
The secret to the success of "the world's famous salesman" and the great drunk car seller Joe Girard is to make customers like him. In order to win the favor of customers, he will do something that seems very insignificant to others. For example, on each holiday he sends each of his 13,000 customers a greeting card whose content changes with the holiday, and on the cover of each card he sends the same sentence that never changes: "I like you." ”
In Gillard's words, "The ultimate purpose of my sending cards is just to tell people I like them." ”
It was in this way that Gillard sold an average of five cars per working day, earning himself more than $200,000 a year, setting a record for the first place in sales for 12 consecutive years, and was called the world's "greatest car seller" by Guinness World Records.
In real life, many people have a "psychology of being liked" in their hearts, in interpersonal relationships, if you can show admiration for others, then others will have the same behavior towards you, if you can first do like others, then others will not like you? The principle of reciprocity says that your behavior will make others breed the same behavior, your kindness will make others breed the same kindness, how you treat others, others will treat you, you like others, others can like you. Smart people often try to satisfy this psychology of others, so that colleagues accept themselves and like themselves.
3
One morning, Xiao Wei came to the office wearing a new dress, saw her colleague Sister Wu and asked, "Look, Sister Wu, how is my dress?" ”
Sister Wu immediately responded, "Good, good, it must be very expensive." ”
Xiao Wei said triumphantly: "It cost me 800 yuan." "The joy is palpable.
After a while, Xiao Jiang, a new colleague opposite Xiao Wei, came to the office, and Xiao Wei casually asked: "Look, I bought new clothes." Xiao Jiang examined it for half a day and said cautiously, "Little Sister Wei, your style of clothing is too old." ”
"It cost me 800 bucks." Xiao Wei wanted to refute Xiao Jiang from the price.
"800 blocks? My cousin sells clothes, and she has this dress in her shop, and she sells it for 300 yuan. ”
Xiao Jiang's words made Xiao Wei feel uncomfortable for a morning.
Sister Wu is much smarter than Xiao Jiang, and she also sees the inadequacy of Xiao Wei's dress, but she just didn't say it. Therefore, in the office, Sister Wu is the most popular.
4
Through the psychological effect of the mutual speaking mechanism, people can see such a truth: when people get along with each other, they must compare their hearts to their hearts and exchange their hearts for hearts. People often have this experience in life: when they want to be liked by others, and that person likes themselves, people will like that person more. For example, if a student finds himself liking a teacher and the teacher happens to like himself, he will increasingly feel that the teacher is amiable and respectable, and thus like the subject knowledge taught by the teacher.
Since liking someone else is so important in relationships, how do you make someone feel like you like them? It is possible to say directly: "I like you." "But that's not the best thing to do, the best thing to do is to show praise and admiration for some aspect of your words." Envy the other person, but praise should be sincere, not exaggerated, which will give people a sense of irony. Usually, I should also pay more attention to each other, because this is also the performance of "I like you".
Psychologists have pointed out that when people get along with each other, they must compare their hearts to their hearts and exchange their hearts for hearts. Only by conveying the message of liking the other party through admiration, admiration, and praise in words can the other party like you in the same way and be willing to do what you want him to do for you.
- The End -
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