Children are more likely to forgive their parents than they tolerate their children.
When a child makes a mistake, most parents will choose to give punitive feedback immediately, feeling that they must not miss this good opportunity to educate their children, and must let him have a long memory!
Among them, there are a small number of parents who choose to secretly observe, and they will never easily blame their children unless they have to, but many children will live up to the trust of their parents and force parents to go crazy step by step.
I don't want to be angry, I can't control it!
At first, before giving birth, Chen Ming was a very patient and nurturing woman, and it was precisely because of her gentle and virtuous temper that her mother-in-law praised her and felt that she had picked up a treasure!
It was only since she had given birth that everything had changed, and not only had she become irritable, but she had a little thing that ignited the fire, and her temper had become particularly bad, often chattering like a city squire.
Gradually, the people around her began to develop a certain disgust towards her, feeling that she herself had not adjusted herself at all, his family was a person who had given birth to children, why was she the only one who had such a big change? Could it be that her previous performance was all in disguise?
Especially her husband, very resistant to her current state and performance, more than once advised her to change her temper, control and control, encounter problems and think about what she once was, learn more from her former self!
Hearing her husband's words, fame can also feel the deterioration of things, but it has been changed and the temper wants to change back, it is very difficult, sometimes see the child make a mistake, obviously he has been psychologically hinting not to be angry, silently read it 100 times. But when the situation really happens, it is really uncontrollable!
Don't say that it is to give children full respect and affirmation, so that they have enough space and time to deal with their own problems, that is, they can't control him without scolding him, for fear that they will miss the best opportunity to educate him!
Don't be presumptuous! There is no "unstoppable fire" in educating children, it is all parents who are brushing "sense of existence"
Parents' desire for control is too strong, resulting in the inability to suppress the fire
In fact, sometimes even if the child does not make the essential mistake, it will also make the parents feel broken, obviously it is a very small mistake and action, so that the parents indiscriminately scold the child. The main reason is because of the parents' desire to control.
Because when parents see their children perform a little bit, they will make up the next scene and results on their own, if the direction of the development of things does not meet the expectations of parents, so that the dignity of parents is shaken, they will take the lead in stopping, saying that this behavior is strangled in the cradle.
Moreover, the level of trust of such parents in their children is also very low, and it can be said that they do not understand the children at all, but only arrange according to their own ideas and the only understanding of the children, and self-righteously control everything.
Passing on the responsibility to the child and wanting to free yourself
Parents are very important to the result and despise the process, even if the parents say, let the child enjoy the process, but their real idea is not like this, but will be very resistant to the process, they only care about the result.
Just like parents are helping their children to do homework, they don't even want to have the process of teaching their children, and they can directly enjoy becoming an excellent child.
But when the child's homework errors are repeated, the parents will be very broken, and the mouth will keep repeating: I have taught you many times, why can't you learn? That's what I taught you, why are you doing this?
The meaning of these words is that it is your own problem to learn, it is that you are not serious, and it has nothing to do with the genetic genes I gave you and the degree of your heart, and you have to pay full responsibility for learning well!
It is really because of the reinforcement of parents that they have become more intense
When parents spit out the boredom and anger in their hearts, they are liberated, but the children have to bear it all, bear your insults, bear your accusations, and even pay for your mistakes.
If there is no problem with the child's psychology, they may be able to digest these negative emotions to a certain extent, but if they are in this helplessness and sadness for a long time, it is also very difficult for them to grow up healthily!
Today's summary:
What mistakes do you think your child makes that keep you from holding back the fire? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!