01
It has been said that all relationships are bubbles that burst at the touch of a button.
On the surface, your relationship with him is particularly good, but it is only a superficial relationship, and what is it? What's more, over time, all superficial relationships will disappear or reverse one hundred and eighty degrees.
Some people will say that the relationship with outsiders will change, but the relationship with relatives will definitely last.
Views like this are, after all, biased. Outsiders are people, relatives are also people, as long as they are people, the relationship between the two sides will be good or bad, even if they turn against each other, it is also a reality that you and I cannot change.
Fathers and sons will quarrel with each other, mothers and daughters will turn against each other, brothers and brothers will settle accounts, sisters will play tricks on each other, and relatives will also be wary of each other. Family relationships are not necessarily so pure.
If we want to maintain a good relationship, then we can't hope for "wishful thinking". People like this who are willing to wishful thinking are often beaten by life and punched in the face by reality, and the gap is huge.
The first secret of dealing with people in the world should be to know how to "be a person first, and then do things."
Between relatives, even if the relationship is good, do not do these things, this is the embodiment of being a person.
02
No matter how good the relationship between relatives, do not talk about "interests".
Interest is a knife that cuts off all emotional ties; interest is a double-edged sword that seems to benefit you, but in fact can also make enemies for you; interest is a mirror that directly illuminates the ugliness of human nature.
Talking to outsiders about interests is a normal thing. Because we have no relationship with outsiders, we either talk about feelings or interests, anyway, they will not be intertwined, and they will not make people entangled in their hearts.
To put it mildly, if the relationship with the interests of outsiders is close, then talk about it. But if the talks can't be discussed, then one shot and two scatters, goodbye to the jianghu, what's the big deal?
However, talking to your relatives about benefits is an act of self-inflicted suffering.
First of all, it is because our relatives are related to us. On the basis of this layer of relationship, if you add the relationship of interests, it will inevitably seem a little awkward.
Secondly, it is because relatives are already very close to each other, and if they are not careful, people will hurt each other, just like hedgehogs. Interests, on the other hand, will exacerbate the tendency to harm each other.
Therefore, for relatives with the best relationship, they cannot negotiate benefits with them.
03
No matter how good the relationship between relatives, do not "frequent exchanges".
From a psychological point of view, everyone has a "disgust" mentality. Especially for the kind of people and things that are often in contact, there will be a sense of disgust in the heart.
Taking the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, why does the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law become an irreconcilable dead knot for thousands of years? One root cause, two minor causes.
The fundamental reason is that two relatives of the same sex and no blood relationship will argue with each other because of the closeness of the relationship and the contradiction of needs.
The secondary reason is that one is the estrangement of the three different views, and the other is the traditional habit of looking at each other unfavorably.
Just think, as a daughter-in-law, you and your mother-in-law don't look at each other well, and you often interact with each other, isn't that just adding fuel to the fire?
In the same way, for other relatives, we must also do less contact. The fewer the number of exchanges, the less contradictions, and the relationship between people can be more harmonious. Otherwise, the quarrel will be endless and the relationship will deteriorate.
04
No matter how good the relationship between relatives, do not say "words from the bottom of your heart".
Someone once said, "When you're going to do something, even for the gods, you can't give it all up." ”
The controversy caused by this remark is actually quite big. Why do we keep our secrets in our hearts, and why can't we tell the truth to the people around us, even outsiders?
It is a pity to say that those who are accustomed to telling the truth, and even giving out the secrets of their hearts, are often coveted by others. On the worse side, it will lead to the psychology of others who are "not good to see others".
For example, if you want to do business and invest in a project, then you talk too much to your relatives or siblings, what will others think?
First, others will think you have projects and don't take them to do, be too selfish, and then hate you. Secondly, others will think that you deliberately show off your wealth and embarrass them, so others will have a "envy, jealousy, hatred" psychology towards you.
As a person, there is no need to say too much, and there is no need to express your true thoughts. Sometimes, keep the secret in your heart, maybe your relationship with them will be better.
05
No matter how good the relationship between relatives is, don't be "wishful thinking".
You think he has a good relationship with you, it's just that you "feel" it, and it has nothing to do with other people. If you act "wishful thinking" according to your own feelings, it is easy to be disappointed.
There is too much sincerity, all fed to the white-eyed wolf; there is too much truth, there is no result at all; there is too much true love, and finally turn against each other.
If a person wants to better maintain the relationship between people, then he must adhere to the "principle of appropriateness".
Some things, just do it. Some feelings, paying seven points is enough, but also have three points of true feelings to keep for themselves. Just like eating, you eat too much and you will always choke.
As a person, you can be sincere, but you can't be too sincere, and the place that should be retained must still be retained. Otherwise, if you suffer a loss, the result can only be self-inflicted.
Wen/Shushan has deer