Author: Insight Yimo
Be thankful to meet, live up to and don't owe.
Among the literati of the Song Dynasty, Su Shi was probably the person with the largest circle of friends and the most friends.
He said: I can accompany the Jade Emperor on the top, and I can accompany the beggars in the Beitianyuan.
From the emperor's hundred officials to the peddlers and pawns, he treated them equally and treated them with all his heart.
From all over the world and from all walks of life, there are people who treat him as friends and treat him as friends.
But "meet in the wind, gather and disperse not by you and me." ”
Many of his best friends, as the world changes, a little bit of invisibility in his life, and eventually disappears.
Some even turn against each other and do not interact with each other.
Once thought that the sky is long, it is difficult to fight the years.
Life is always impermanent, no matter who it is, it can only accompany you for a ride.
01
There are different encounters, and there is no need to accompany each other.
Lu Xun once wrote a novel "Hometown", which recorded his playmates when he was a child.
The two men were about the same age, and the leap earth called him "Xun Ge'er", taking him to catch birds in the snow, collect shellfish by the sea, and watch jumping fish.
Thirty years later, reunited. Lu Xun thought that he could relive the beauty of the old days, but Yan Tu opened his mouth and called out "Old Master".
A thick barrier separated the two of them, and the friendship of that year could never be found again.
The years are changing, and we are all changing.
Once friends, once friends, will also blur a little.
The former "dragging the family to meet each other" has slowly become "drifting away and gradually without books".
The same is true of Su Shi and Shen Kuo.
The two were originally colleagues of the Hanlin Academy, who usually worked together and talked about poetry, and had a very good relationship in their youth.
However, later Su Shi was released to the local area, and Shen Kuo followed Wang Anshi in the capital to change the law.
The trajectory of their lives is in opposite directions.
Shen Kuo was in the capital, deeply influenced by Wang An's stone tools, and every day he thought about how to implement the new law and enrich the country and strengthen the army.
Su Shi witnessed the hardships of people's livelihood in the local area and talked about the shortcomings of the new law everywhere.
Shen Kuo went to Hangzhou to inspect and visit Su Shi.
Su Shi warmly received this former friend, and he had nothing to say, nothing to talk about, and his poems satirizing the new law were also shown to him.
But what he didn't know was that Shen Kuo was no longer the Shen Kuo he was then.
Shen Kuo was the vanguard of the new law, the red man in front of Wang Anshi, and the one who cursed the country in Su Shi's own mouth.
Identities have become opposites, and friends have become enemies.
After returning to Beijing, Shen Kuo took out the sentences in Su Shi's poems that satirized the new law and reported them to the imperial court.
This laid the groundwork for the later "Wutai Poetry Case".
Su Shi encountered the first "Waterloo" in his life and almost lost his life.
And Shen Kuo, a great scientist, also left a stain on his life.
Later, when the New Party fell, Su Shi passed by Runzhou, and Shen Kuo felt ashamed in his heart and personally received it, giving it to Yanzhou graphite.
Su Shi politely wrote a "Book Shen Cun zhong graphite" praising Shen Kuo's merits.
The words are very polite between the lines, and the intimacy of that year has long been lost.
Man is an environmental animal.
Different experiences, different circumstances, shape different people.
When we are separated on the timeline, we embark on different journeys with each other.
Different encounters are engraved with different lives.
No matter how reluctant we are to admit it, many times, this moment is the end of friendship.
02
The three views are different and do not have to be integrated.
We always say that the three views are different. What exactly is the difference between the three views?
I know that there is a high praise answer:
You revere Heavenly Reason, he worships authority, it's a different worldview.
You're on the side of conscience, he's on the side of the winner, it's a difference in values.
You work hard for the ideal life, he strives to be a good person, which is a different outlook on life.
Summer worms can't speak ice, three people with different views, even quarrels can't understand, let alone be friends?
There is a story in the "New Language of the World":
Guan Ning and Hua Xin were hoeing grass together in the garden.
Seeing the gold on the ground, Hua Xin happily went to pick it up, and Guan Ning was unmoved and continued to weed.
The two sat on the same mat and read, some high officials walked in front of the door wearing ceremonial clothes, Guan Ning was still reading as before, but Hua Xin put down his book and went out to see the liveliness.
Guan Ning cut off the mat and Hua Xin sat separately and said, "You are no longer my friend." ”
This is the origin of "Guan Ning cutting the mat".
Only those who are like-minded as friends, the Tao is a friend, and the three views are compatible can become friends.
Once the three views are different, they can no longer be integrated.
Su Shi and Zhang Huan were very good friends in their youth, and the two of them traveled together and sang poems against each other.
Zhang Huan once patted his stomach and asked Su Shi what he had in his stomach.
Su Shi said, "It's all a matter of rebellion. ”
Laughter and laughter are harmonious.
However, the times have changed, and the two former confidants have finally parted ways because of the incompatibility of the three views.
In Su Shi's eyes, both the new party and the old party have merit, and the difference in political views is a dispute between gentlemen and does not involve personal relations.
Moreover, he was indifferent by nature and did not have such a great enthusiasm for official positions.
Zhang Wei was not, for the sake of power, playing with power, forming gangs and factions, attacking each other, and the imperial court was made into a miasma.
Su Shi could not accept this, and together with his younger brother Su Rui expelled Zhang Huan from the court.
Later, when the old party collapsed, Zhang Huan gained power and ascended to the throne of the prime minister, and the first thing he did was to seek revenge on Su Shi.
Again and again, from Yingzhou to Huizhou to Danzhou, Cheng was determined to kill this old friend.
Decades of friendship have just vanished.
The ancients said that the sea is a confidant, and the end of the world is close to each other.
If they understand each other and the three views fit, even if they are thousands of miles apart, they will not have such a great sense of alienation.
The real distance is never a physical distance, but a three-dimensional view and mentality between people.
Birds and fish do not go the same way, and the mountains and rivers never meet.
When the three views are different, it also means that we will eventually go to a different path, hurrying for years and running for the future.
03
Friends do not have to be invited into life.
Liu Jun said in the "Theory of Widespread Renunciation": "Plotting and then moving, and not being able to do so, is a matter of quantity and quantity." ”
A person who has carefully considered the interests of power before making friends with you is quantitative dating.
He is your closest partner when you have a use value.
Once you lose value, you are a bargaining chip for him to trade.
Zhang Xuan and Su Shi were soldiers in the same year, and after entering the army, they both served in Fengxiang.
Zhang Xuan knew that Su Shi was deeply affected by Ouyang Xiuqi, and he became famous in the capital at a young age, and his contacts were very wide, and he would definitely be a great help for his official in the future.
So he deliberately befriended Su Shi.
Su Shi is a man of integrity, and he does not understand much in the official arena and in life, and Zhang Xuan takes more care of him.
Su Shi and Chen Xiliang were at odds, and Zhang Xuan was in the middle to help him resolve the conflict.
When Zhang Xuan returned to Beijing, Su Shi seriously wrote a "Jia Shu" and sent it to him to express his blessings to this close friend.
After Zhang Xuan returned to Beijing, he took advantage of the east wind of the new law, left and right, and soon became the most powerful bureaucrat in the Song Dynasty.
In the second year of YuanFeng, Su Dongpo's opposition to the new law grew louder and louder, hindering his career and threatening his official position.
He burned the "Jia Shu" and personally designed the "Wutai Poetry Case", bent on burying the life of his former friend.
Wang Anli persuaded the emperor to forgive Su Shi, and Zhang Xuan scolded Wang Anli in front of his face, fearing that Su Shi would not die.
The ancients said, "When Eli intersects, the benefits are scattered; when the forces intersect, the forces intersect, and the momentum goes." ”
The most important thing between friends is affection rather than interest.
Those who make friends with interests in the beginning, once the interests conflict, many times it is the end of the friendship.
Su Shi also had a colleague named Zhao Junxi.
Su Shi had just entered the political arena, and Empress Gao was gracious to Su Shi.
Zhao Junxi felt that Su Shi would definitely be in the future, so he praised Su Shi everywhere and soon became Su Shi's friend.
He himself rose with the trend.
A few years later, the wind direction changed, and Su Shi became a thorn in the side of the New Party, and he quickly changed the court to provide the New Party with materials to attack Su Shi.
Su Shi trusted him and entrusted him with his work, and he turned around and sold Su Shi.
Later, he personally attacked Su Shi in exchange for his own future.
Zeng Guofan said: Working with profiteers is bound to suffer.
Make friends with people who like profit, and you will definitely be involved.
They see only interests in their eyes, no friends.
▽
Jia Zhangke wrote in "The Old Man of Mountains and Rivers":
"Some people can only accompany you for a while, and they will be separated sooner rather than later." After this journey, you will meet new people and new lives. ”
Not all friendships last forever.
People come and go, people gather and disperse, all because of fate.
In this life, half of it is a memory, and half of it is a continuation.
If you are destined to go away, it is better to be grateful and not to be indebted.