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Life is a long journey, and there will be different moods at different stages. In the Analects, it is said that sixty and obedient, seventy and do as the heart desires, and do not exceed the rules.
When you are old, if your pension is enough to cope with your own life, then don't be aggrieved to do these three things, there is no need.
One: Don't live with your children
When people are old, their hearts will become very soft, and they want their children and grandchildren to be full of halls and surround their knees, so many elderly people will choose to live with their children in order to have a warm old age.
But reality is often not as warm as they think. Many elderly people who live with their children not only do not enjoy the joy of life, but they are more and more separated from their children.
In the first half of life, parents are the only audience for their children, and in the second half of life, children are the only audience for their parents. However, what the audience sees is only the scenery on the stage, not the all-weather life offstage.
No matter how deep the love, it also needs to have a distance to breathe. When the elderly and their children live together, the time spent together increases, and conflicts are more likely to arise.
The ideas and concepts of the two generations and the living habits are completely different, and the elderly want to live with their children, but they just want to get more attention and companionship, and they also want to be closer to their children and understand them better.
But after living together, the pace of life of the two generations can not be unified, the children have their own things to be busy, the elderly can only wait for their children at home every day, not only is there no warmth, but they feel more lonely.
For children, every child wants to get out of the control of their parents and prove their independence. It was hard to grow up and have a life of my own. Now living with my parents again is like going back to the fear of being ruled by my parents when I was a child.
Many things dare not be done, and they feel that someone is in charge of them all the time, and their lives will feel uncomfortable. In the long run, it is a kind of torture for both sides.
It is better to live separately, and each other will be more awake and comfortable.
Two: Don't easily find a wife
As the saying goes, young couples come to each other, when people are old, they hope that there is a person who knows cold and knows heat to spend the rest of their lives with them. It's just that things are often not satisfactory, and some old people's partners take the first step, leaving him alone.
With the development of social concepts, "twilight love" is no longer a new thing. There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of their own happiness by the elderly, but whether to enter the marriage again or not, or to decide carefully.
The love of the old people is no longer like that of the young people, with unlimited vision and future. Their love is more of a spiritual comfort, the sustenance of the rest of their lives, more like a platonic spiritual love.
But marriage is realistic, involving not only feelings, but also property, but also the union of two families.
Once the trivial disturbances in the meantime are not handled well, not only will they not be able to get a higher quality of old age, but the original peaceful life may also be broken.
Three: Stop forcing yourself to participate in all unnecessary socializing
In this life, there are countless people who come and go around, but there are only a few who are really truly in touch. Most of them are necessary social interactions that have to be carried out out of social etiquette, work interests, and sophistication.
At a young age, we have countless goals to be achieved, and these social rewards are essential and the only way to success. But when we are old, the most important thing for us is only ourselves.
After a lifetime of hard work, when it comes to enjoying life, there is no need to force yourself to carry out some insincere social interaction for the sake of "face" and "etiquette". At this time, every minute of your life is precious and you should live for yourself.
There is an idiom called "no desire is just", you have passed the age of ambition, and all you want for the rest of your life is to live in peace and tease your grandchildren. That being the case, what's not to put down?
All the entanglements are a civil unrest caused by inner confusion. The old people are already the age of the world, and they have long been confused about what they want in their hearts, so there is no need to dwell on unnecessary interpersonal interactions.
Coming together, not together, going, in the old age for a period of time, is also a reward for their own life.
Sooner or later, we will all understand that the real loneliness is not that there is no one around to accompany us, but that even if someone is accompanied, we still feel that no one understands, and it is extremely lonely.
When people are old, if they have a pension, don't force themselves to do something that they don't want to do, or are not beneficial to life, be kind to yourself, live comfortably, and you will have more blessings.
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