He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
What are the differences between boys and girls in their relationships?
When a boy likes a girl, this is the moment when he behaves most humblely; and when a girl likes a boy, she will show her bravest moment.
Psychology believes that when people face people they like, they will involuntarily lower their posture and think that they are inferior to each other.
When you fall in love with someone, that's when you develop an inferiority complex.
However, those who pursue likes cannot rely only on a passion for blood.
The matter of feelings is not to have courage, to give, to be good to him is enough; more importantly, you must have characteristics that attract the other party.
Everyone should understand: it is best not to pursue people who like more than 3 times.
The more you wronged yourself, the more tragic the end will be.
-01
The first time to pursue a favorite person is brave
In my consulting case, there are two diametrically opposed stories.
One is a boy.
He liked a girl, unrequited love, four years of college crush on a girl; he planned to confess to the girl when he graduated, but he did not expect the girl to start the relationship one step earlier.
The boy was particularly emotional, he said: Although this relationship has never begun, there is still a kind of pain of lost love.
The other one was also a boy.
However, this boy is particularly brave.
When he meets someone he likes, he will pursue it at the first time, and he doesn't care whether he succeeds or fails.
He said: I don't want to leave regrets, if I can't be with the people I like, how boring.
However, his luck is better, it only took 1 month to pursue the girl he likes, and now the two people have been in love for 4 years and are preparing to get married.
We often hear a saying: if you like it, you can chase it, and only confess what is the use.
Most people's attitude towards feelings can be divided into two modes.
One is active and the other is passive.
In active thinking, they meet the people they like, and they will bravely pursue, not caring about the result, only caring about the process.
And for passive people, even if the person they like actively pursues him, he will also have "unreal" thoughts and miss a relationship in vain.
Therefore, adults meet people they like, don't overthink the results, and try to pursue them first.
-02
Pursuing someone you like, the second time is to wait for the "progress bar"
When did you decide to give up on someone you like?
This is a question of knowing.
One of the answers impressed me:
"Halfway through watching the show, I suddenly stopped, always in the loading state; although I liked the show, my patience was also exhausted by the loading state."
It's like you're working on a file and suddenly you're prompted with a "file error."
You have to make a choice: "Continue waiting or ending the process?" ”
I think most people will choose to end the process.
After all, people's patience is limited, even in the face of people they particularly like.
The first time we decided to pursue each other, it was because we were brave and unwilling, eager to have some stories with each other.
The second time I pursue the other party, I want to try again, at least waiting for a "progress bar".
But wait, wait, wait, never wait for the results you want.
Maybe he's a slower person in his relationship; maybe he doesn't like you from the start.
But anyway, this time it's time for you to make a decision.
Any relationship needs to have a "progress bar".
Many times, if the other party does not respond to you, it is already the best answer.
-03
The third time for someone who pursues a liking is to give up
What if you fall in love with someone who doesn't like you?
Have been brave, worked hard, and have given the best within their reach.
But in the end, you still don't get anything.
At this time, what should we do?
The best thing to do is not to stick with it, but to give up.
Everyone in the relationship, should understand a truth: timely stop loss.
What is a timely stop loss?
There is a "crocodile rule" in economics.
It means that when a person is bitten by a crocodile, the best thing to do is not to struggle, not to fight the crocodile; but to show weakness, give up, and then seize the hope of survival.
Used in feelings, it can be understood as:
Giving up on the other person is not a compromise, but "forget it"; at least, give up earlier and start a new life earlier.
Like a person, we unconsciously lower our posture.
As Zhang Ailing said: Humble to the dust.
But emotional things, where is there right and wrong, right and wrong?
It is nothing more than the difference between like and dislike, suitable and inappropriate, success and failure, abandonment and persistence.
If your likes aren't cared for, give up.
Today's Topic:
How long will you pursue someone you like?
(Article with picture source network)